Do you visit your child in their classroom once in awhile ? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 09-21-2010, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have visited my boy in his classrooms from the time he was 3 now he is 6 so I'm wondering if I should stop visiting him in his first grade classroom and if I do want to see him just to visit him during his recess time ?

I also am getting an instinct that the teacher really don't like me coming in during the time she's teaching even though I love to observe my boy in doing his work and to see how the teacher is acting with kids .
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#2 of 18 Old 09-21-2010, 03:10 PM
 
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Why not volunteer in the classroom?

I don't "visit" my kids but, I do work in their classrooms. I love to see them while they're in school but, I don't think dropping in for a visit is appropriate. It's disruptive to the classroom and I can totally see how a teacher wouldn't like that at all.

But, when I show up to work, the kids come over, give me a quick hug and kiss and then I get to work and get to observe them and the teacher in the classroom.
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#3 of 18 Old 09-21-2010, 03:15 PM
 
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I second volunteering in the classroom. DD2 is in 2nd grade at a very small, relaxed school, so much so that I pull her out at lunch in the winter often to go snowboarding and the director just waves and tells us to have fun. And they even frown on parents popping into the classrooms during regular class time.

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#4 of 18 Old 09-21-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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as a teacher, i have had parents visit their children only when i have made calls home about behavior. the parents would drop by unannounced to the child, but announced to me to keep them on their toes. it almost always improved their behavior.

granted, i teach middle and high school age children, i would not appreciate a parent who just stopped by for no real reason. i would not stop them from doing it though. however, i would find it disruptive, distracting, and assume the parent does not trust my teaching abilities.

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#5 of 18 Old 09-21-2010, 03:17 PM
 
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yes if you want to watch then volunteer.

Recess time is for him to be running around playing with the kids. You will probably find he won't want to visit with you much during recess or at all.

If you want to visit with him then eat lunch with him & let him go play with the other kids when he's done.
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#6 of 18 Old 09-21-2010, 03:41 PM
 
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I haven't and probably wouldn't the way you described it. I've come into the classroom for birthdays or if I need to pick him up at school for some reason and I chat with the teacher for a few minutes.

But just to sit there and watch? I'd think that would be really distracting from how I've seen kids behave when I do show up.
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#7 of 18 Old 09-22-2010, 12:50 AM
 
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I've never visited DD's classroom unannounced (this is her 3rd year of preschool). I've only visited once or twice during regular class anyhow. I know some preschools have one-way "observation mirrors" but ours doesn't, and you have to actually go into the classroom to watch, which inevitably gets DD all wound up. DD gets along just fine without me, and I can ask her teachers if I want to know what she's doing.

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Originally Posted by MommytoB View Post
... if I do want to see him just to visit him during his recess time ?

... I love to observe my boy in doing his work and to see how the teacher is acting with kids .
Yes, I would think it's time to stop visiting him. If you want to observe the classroom periodically, you should arrange it with the teacher ahead of time or become a parent volunteer. It's probably disruptive to her work and distracting to the kids if you're randomly popping in all the time.

Erin, mom to DD (1/06) and DS (10/09)
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#8 of 18 Old 09-25-2010, 01:17 AM
 
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Ditto the other posters. I too would love to be able to sit and watch my first grader, but it is way too distracting, and I think kind of odd. I volunteer in the classroom once a week, and I serve lunch once a week, so I get to see a little bit.
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#9 of 18 Old 09-25-2010, 08:43 AM
 
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you mean you just sit there and visit and watch? i have never heard of such a thing. ps yes. but elementary school?

oh boy. that would be v. distracting for the teacher and students too.

when my dd was hating school i started volunteering to find out what was going on.

one thing i notice in school all the time - parents come over and take their kids out for lunch. esp. on their furlough days. they sign out and then sign in.

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#10 of 18 Old 09-25-2010, 03:16 PM
 
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I refuse to visit my kids at school because they tend to act up when I am around. I specific request not to volunteer for my own kid's classroom or when they are in the library. BTDT with not good results. I have been known to wave from a distance if I am at the school (like to pick up my pre-schooler) when they are on the playground. Sometimes they will wave back, sometimes not. My DD will sometimes come and give a hug but I leave it in her court.
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#11 of 18 Old 09-25-2010, 06:27 PM
 
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In the elementary schools around here they either give times that parents can come in to volunteer or make it clear that you are welcome to volunteer by calling and setting up a time with the teacher. The teacher we have now doesn't want volunteers yet and isn't sure if she will at all and the principal backs her up in this because having people in the classroom is the teachers choice. I think I would be a lot concerned as a teacher and as the parent of my child if a parent just wanted to come in and watch kids working without any real reason for being there.
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#12 of 18 Old 09-25-2010, 06:29 PM
 
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No, I think it would be too distracting.
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#13 of 18 Old 09-26-2010, 06:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommytoB View Post
I also am getting an instinct that the teacher really don't like me coming in during the time she's teaching even though I love to observe my boy in doing his work and to see how the teacher is acting with kids .
DS's teacher specifically said to us that she would love parents to come and volunteer, help out in the classroom - anytime. But to sit and watch, no, she said the kids think it is really odd - like what are you doing here?
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#14 of 18 Old 09-26-2010, 06:28 PM
 
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Wellll, I don't see the problem with scheduling a time to sit and observe in your child's classroom - this was actually suggested to me by our principal when we had some issues with DD's teacher a few weeks ago. But, just showing up, IMO, is not really every appropriate - even if it's just to visit b/c you truly miss your kid during the day (me - gosh, the day goes by too fast ). If you don't trust your child's school enough that you have to show up unannounced, well, then, you should find another school.

I don't think most teachers mind volunteers - again, assuming you have signed up and scheduled this in advance, but that's entirely different than just wanting to hang out with your kid while they are at school. That is distracting to the kid, the other students, and especially the teacher.

In preschool, it's a bit different, IME. The kids are playing most of the time they are there, and there are usually plenty of things for parents to jump in and do. My DS's pre-k teacher was completely okay with parents just randomly showing up - not that I ever did this, though. But I think once they are in kindergarten and beyond, and even younger depending on the program (such as with Montessori, it wouldn't be helpful or appropriate for me to show up to visit in my DS's 3-6 M class), that pretty much ends.

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#15 of 18 Old 09-26-2010, 06:34 PM
 
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I've been a teacher for 12 years and I've never had a parent visit their child in the classroom. I would find that terribly distracting. I've had parents come help out with the whole class, though, and that is always appreciated.
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#16 of 18 Old 09-26-2010, 07:51 PM
 
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Not just to 'drop in'. If I'm there, there's a reason. I agree that it would be too distracting, not only for my kids but all the kids. First grade teachers have to work really hard on classroom management and having someone drop in unpredictably would really mess with that, I would think.

Ask if you could drop in at lunch time? Schools almost always welcome another adult at lunch!

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#17 of 18 Old 09-26-2010, 09:01 PM
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I volunteered once a week in my son's 1st grade class last year. Why not just set up a scheduled time where you can help the kids with a certain subject?
However, other parents did drop in to watch occasionally and I don't think it's odd. My little guy is in K this year and his teacher has said we can drop by anytime and we're also welcome to join them for lunch.
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#18 of 18 Old 09-26-2010, 09:20 PM
 
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If you have time to visit, why not make time to volunteer? Does the teacher not have parent volunteer times?

If you volunteer, you will still be able to observe, and better yet (well, maybe not, if you don't care about any other kid than your own, I know some parents don't) you will get to know their classmates too.

I've noticed that 1st and 2nd graders often really like being joined for lunch on occasion (teacher might like it too if you volunteer to keep an eye on the class--if they eat in the classroom--if she needs to do a quick something).

It's probably just me, but I truly don't get why someone would just want to sit there and watch, as opposed to watch AND do something for the class too?

It *is* distracting for the other children to have observers. One of the classrooms my kids are in can be a bit of a "lab class" at times, and the behavior of the children with observers in the back *is* different. When you volunteer on a regular basis, you just become part of the class to the kids for the most part and the behavior is not different (or not as different).
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