Book recommendations for strong willed child - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 10 Old 09-30-2010, 03:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 111
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can someone please recommend a book for raising a strong willed child? My 4 year old DD needs to be constantly in control and has emotional meltdowns every time she feels thwarted. I don't want a book that emphasizes punishment.
mergirl is offline  
#2 of 10 Old 09-30-2010, 10:31 AM
 
mom2happy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 992
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DD has this personality too.

Ive read so many books over the years that I dont remember which ones I liked or didnt. I think a variety is good, so you can choose ideas that you like and have a few different views. Even if you read a 200 page book and only get one good paragraph its worth it.

These are some books I read
The Strong Willed Child - I dont remember it being anything special
THe Highly Sensitive Child- GReat
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen SO Kids will Talk
The Secret of Parenting
Siblings Without Rivalry
Playful Parenting - there are two authors with the same title- read both
Hold On to Your Kids

The Most recent one which I felt I agreed with every page was
Parenting Without Power Struggles by Susan Stiffelman

The only problem with that book is that the author has an only child and doesnt have any first hand experience with sibling problems.

Oh my gosh, Ive read so many more but this is all I have in my brain right now and baby needs to nurse.

Im sure you'll get tons of titles and good advice here.
mom2happy is offline  
#3 of 10 Old 09-30-2010, 10:42 AM
 
EFmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 8,104
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I"ve got one very strong willed child and one easy-going one.

I read a ton of books on strong willed children and my favorite was Setting Limits with your Strong-Willed Child: Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries, by Robert J. MacKenzie, Ed.D. It greatly improved the family dynamics.

Now she's a teenager and I'm in search of something similar for teens.
EFmom is offline  
#4 of 10 Old 09-30-2010, 11:22 AM
 
spmamma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 1,283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Also try Raising Your Spirited Child. It was a godsend at our house.

SAHM to DD (6/07) and DS (10/09); happily married to DH since 2/04 .
spmamma is offline  
#5 of 10 Old 09-30-2010, 10:42 PM
 
raelize's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 819
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i also have a STRONG willed 4 y.o. dd who has crazy meltdowns. i realized ( 9 months into 4) that she really needed more sleep, that she needed a nap agian in the afternoon. she doesn't nap everyday, and to get her to sleep we hav to go for a drive, but even 20 minutes every other day seems to really improve her ability to handle situations without a meltdown. and this is a kid who dropped naps at 18 months.
raelize is offline  
#6 of 10 Old 10-01-2010, 02:53 AM
 
Alison's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,170
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by spmamma View Post
Also try Raising Your Spirited Child. It was a godsend at our house.
Yup, I like that one too, along with 'How to talk so your kids will listen. . . '

Mama to my two sweet monkeys - DD '04 and DS '06
Alison's Mom is offline  
#7 of 10 Old 10-02-2010, 12:42 PM
 
harrietsmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Hesperia, MI
Posts: 1,645
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I've been reading many books lately

I really liked The Difficult Child, although it doesn't really give credence to sensory processing issues, which we have. However it *does* have excellent help in understanding the underlying issues and how to work toward success in a very respectful manner.

Just started reading Naomi Aldort's book, and I'm loving it, and it does include sibling stuff.

I have playful parenting on my desk waiting for me.

Heather, mama to Harriet, Crispin, in with Tom and 2
harrietsmama is offline  
#8 of 10 Old 10-02-2010, 01:49 PM
 
AllisonR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,137
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
IMO, it is a stage.

I've got a really laid back DS, who went through this stage of everything had to be exactly his way, his plans, him first... from about age 4.5 to 5.5. Luckily it is a stage. He is almost 6 now and realizes the world does not revolve around him and rules are not always black and white.

I've got a DD who will be 4 in 47 days (yes, she is counting down) and she is so strong willed it makes me cringe. I am not looking forward to the fours. Then again, she is also independent and confident, so you gotta take the "good with the bad" kwim?

IMO, if this has developed around age 4 for your DD, and she wasn't so much this way beforehand, then I would skip the books and just ride out the stage. If she was always this way, and it is just more exaggerated now that she is 4, then some of the pp's books might come in handy.
AllisonR is offline  
#9 of 10 Old 10-02-2010, 03:40 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
One of my favorite books is: Kids, Parents & Power Struggles. I need to re-read it for our strong-willed 6 year old. It's by the same author who wrote Raising Your Spirited Child, but it's a little more updated, I think.

I'll also say that Playful Parenting and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen REALLY work with our daughter.

Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#10 of 10 Old 10-02-2010, 03:51 PM
 
EFmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 8,104
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post
IMO, it is a stage.

.
I disagree completely. While some kids may go through stages where they are on a control binge, some kids are just more strong willed than others, period.

I've got two who are night and day. One is my attorney in training, and she's been tough from day one. She's now 13 and it's not getting any prettier. She wants to please--herself. The other is my little ray of sunshine, and she does want to please us. It's their personality, not a stage.
EFmom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off