dd, 4 y.o., has always had seperation anxiety. we have never "left" her with anyone, she has gone to a few places with just my parents or to my parents house alone, but maybe 4 tmes in her whole life, and it was always something for her, not us just leaving her. for example, my parents took her 2-3 times to visit her cousin.
otherwise, she has only ever been with me or dh. she has always had seperation anxiety, but she has never outgrown it, and she seems to still have a high level of it. she cries when dh leaves to play soccer on sundays (plays in a league, he's gone maybe 3 hours?) or if seh wakes up and he hasn't left for work yet she will follow him around the houe crying asking him to stay home. she does the same to me when i go to work (one evening a week). she is okay if she is choosing to go somewhere, for example, her dance class or her acrobatics class, but i need to stay in the building. it is now at the point where my 2 y.o. comforts her when one of us leave. she goes to her and pats her on the back and tells her its okay.
is this normal?
she still comes to our bed most nights. she wanted to sleep in her own bed when seh turned 4. she nursed on demand till she was 3 and then very gently weaned over a period of 11 months. i mean, i feel like these all the things that would point to a kid being comfortable at the age of 4 to let their father go to work in the mornings. we don't stop what we are doing (although it takes a lot for dh to go on sundays when she is hysterical). she says she never will move out of our house ( which i think is normal for her age) and we are planning to homeschool, but before that she told me often that she would never go to school.
is this normal for this age? will she grow out of it?
I think(in my very humble opinion) that your daughter is normal given the way she has been raised thus far. Children are so individual though, and normal means very little when it comes to one specific child. I recommend that you continue to supporther and meether needs and you will do just fine.
**Also, that big block of text is hard to read! Maybe break it up into two paragraphs to encourage more responses.
Every child has different needs and it's good that you know what her needs are. I don't think her attachment needs are out of the ordinary and if you continue to reassure her to build up her security, then she will eventually be ok with being separated from you, and when that time comes, you'll long for the days when she still needed you.