Toilet training issues ... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 5 Old 05-10-2002, 10:57 AM - Thread Starter
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DS (4yo) is finally peeing by himself in the toilet (thank G-d for small victories) but still insists on pooping in a diaper. When he needs to go he'll ask for a diaper (actually more like shriek for one) and then run into the bathroom to do it in the diaper.

For much of the last year he's been having constipation problems caused by purposely holding it in. He'd be very proud of himself if he didn't poop for days on end, and when it finally came out, once the crying from the pain was over, he'd be so happy to tell us about how he held it in ... so we started giving him daily prune juice, and I guess he also got a little older, so now he willingly poops, but we can't get him to try the toilet. And since that constipation was so horrible (sometimes we had to pull it out ourselves) and that was so painful for all of us that we're really hesitant to push him about it.

When asked about it he will say (this is verbatim) "I'll do it when I'm five." This is not acceptable to us, I guess you know that.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.


- Amy
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#2 of 5 Old 05-10-2002, 11:59 AM
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Please believe me that I am saying this very gently and not at all meanly... But why can't you wait until he is five? I don't know how long it is until his birthday or if there are other things to consider, but this may just be the easiest way to do it.

My dd was daytime potty trained at 2 1/2 but has been wearing a diaper at night with no interest in changing her routine. So around Christmas I started telling her that she would start wearing underware at night when she was 4 (6 months away at the time). I figured it was far enough away to give her time to get used to the idea, and I would have something to look forward to also, since the wet diapers were really becoming an issue for me. She agreed with this and it soon became her own idea. We are still about 6 weeks away from her birthday, but she is so excited about it that last week she said that she was going to wear underware at night. I think she is actually trying to "hurry up" her birthday, but whatever the reason, she is now completely out of diapers and even got up in the middle of the night last night to pee.

Maybe you should let your son lead the way on this one. Potty issues are the one thing that kids have the most control over. Start talking about his fifth birthday and how great it will be when he is using the potty, because then he will be able to go more places and do more things, etc. Talk it up often and then he may start looking forward to it too.

This is purely my opinion because I haven't faced this issue, but give up control on this one. He has told you when he will start using the potty, and I think that is a real positive step. Go with that.

Good luck!
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#3 of 5 Old 05-26-2002, 02:04 PM - Thread Starter
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Corey, thanks for the response, sorry this took so long to get back to you ...

Why can't I wait 'til he's 5? I guess I can, the only reason is now I've got a 2yo and a 2mo in diapers, too, and three kids in diapers is really a bit much on the wallet and on the time-sink issue, you know?

Anyway, the whole thing is moot. I decided to listen to you & other responses elsewhere, let him do when he's ready so he'll do it happily, hopefully.

DD2yo is just showing interest in the toilet, so perhaps she'll start, and that'll egg him on ... sibling rivalry in a positive sense ...

- Amy
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#4 of 5 Old 05-26-2002, 08:03 PM
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Hey there,

my son had alot of holding it in probs, then wanted a diaper...I had to ask him why do it in a diaper? He was afraid that if he went on the potty he would miss and get poop all over the floor and all over him! oh the 3yo logic! Do you ask him why he doesn't want to do it in the potty? I guess he just says when I'm 5.....My son now goes on the potty every night after dinner and we are giving him a quarter when he goes, until he is 4 we told him....the $ was dh idea, and i was not really digging it originally, but ds enjoys saving up his poop money.

Although you say its moot, perhaps some gentle encouragement to try to sit on the potty to do the deed and a little reward you think is appropriate might hurry up the behavior. I agree the constipation is a nightmare! We actually gave ds a little mineral oil in a drink everyday for a while until he got over the holding it in.

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#5 of 5 Old 05-27-2002, 01:07 AM
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Though I have not expereinced this myself, I have heard that kids who are otherwise potty trained but still use the diaper to poop is pretty common.

There was a whole column in the 'Toddler Tips" of LLL's New Beginnings magazine devoted to this a few years ago. You might want to search their site to read it. It might make you feel better to see that others have gone through the same thing.

P.S. My DH's younger brother as a child, had no interest in using the toilet until his even younger sister started to!
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