Reassurance please! - Mothering Forums
The Childhood Years > Reassurance please!
rosesarered's Avatar rosesarered 01:21 PM 10-21-2010
Please tell me when your 5.5 yo DD says she "feels like you are the only one who doesn't care about her", she is just exploring language.
My DD said this on our way to school today. I will admit to rushing her a bit because we were late, and not wanting to play around with the door. I know she was expressing her feelings about that. But, man, that phrase was hard to hear and respond to!

meemee's Avatar meemee 02:25 PM 10-21-2010
no she isnt just exploring language. she is truly expressing what she feels. its not about you. its about her. i have heard even worse phrases come out of my dd. but thankfully i had friends who had gone thru this IRL and help me see that its their first sign of pre-puberty. they are going thru hormonal changes (my dd got body odor at 6) and life is just horrible for them.

oh i give you they are hard to hear, but when you hear it as a reflection of what they are going thru - i know THAT helped me fill with compassion. my dd who always needed hugs when she was sad couldnt even decide that at that age. she would push me away and then two minutes later come sit on my lap. i just went with it. her hitting went up too. i sat and let her hit me or put some distance between us - because i could see by the intensity of her emotions that she wasnt able to listen to anything i'd say.

it was a hard, hard time. however when she got out of it - it was terribly sad for me. because suddenly she'd grown up into this mature child. v subtle. but typical tantrums were gone. she was more balanced and more adult like. no more losing it if i said no. ok mommy, then can i have it later or can i have NNN instead. a whole different child.

so yeah because i saw those words as a reflection of what a turmoil she was going thru i did not take it personally and instead because i had compassion i knew exactly what to do.