tween article from Mothering a few years back - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 48 Old 12-22-2010, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dd's friends mother is convinced her dd, 8, is now a tween and that she is actually moving into some official category.  I am trying to convince her that tweenhood is a marketing ploy and that there is already a name for eight-year-old girls--children.  They are children.  Does anyone remember that great mothering article from a few years back about tween? Any ideas about how I could get a hold of it?


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#2 of 48 Old 12-22-2010, 04:55 PM
 
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I remember this. I just looked at the covers of all my back issues and nothing popped out. If someone knows which issue it was in that would be helpful. Good luck! 


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#3 of 48 Old 12-23-2010, 09:33 AM
 
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You could try in the Tween/Teen forum to see if anyone remembers.

 

FWIW, the name "tween" might be a marketing ploy, but as the mom of a 12 y/o, the actual stage of life (between childhood and teenaged years), is very real. 

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#4 of 48 Old 12-23-2010, 12:07 PM
 
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This is the article:

http://mothering.com/green-living/stealing-childhood?page=0,1

 

I don't agree with it though.  There is a huge difference between who my child was a year ago and who she is now and I think that even if this label is something that marketers designed it is something that parents have picked up on and started using because they notice that jump in development, reasoning, and even attitude.  The author also talks about the label teenager not existing, but children were supossed to be little adults at that time also so I don't think that is a very compelling argument.

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#5 of 48 Old 12-23-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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I think this is a fuzzy area.

 

My daugher is 8, is developing breasts, and is dealing with some emotional/hormonal upheavals of early puberty.  While in many ways she is "just a child", it is disrespectful of me to insist that she is not dealing with some things that non-pubescent children don't have to.

 

Tween marketing of products, IMO is different than understanding that there *is* a fuzzy inbetween category, esp. for kids going through early puberty.

 

I think it's also a fragile stage, esp. around MDC folks, because while we say that we are pro-woman and all that, we also freak out and blame puberty of fat, plastics, and evil diet stuff...and in the middle of freaking out I think it's a mistake to think that our daughters do not notice that from us or the media.

 

I'd like to see the tween years mean that a parent is SUPER DUPER CONSCIOUS about what crap comes out of their mouth, as well as monitoring media.

 

To me, that SHOULD start happening at 8, which is when *many* girls in particular are moving into the early stages of puberty, even if they don't have obvious signs.

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#6 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 07:04 AM
 
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My dd is 8, almost 9, and she is in a lot of ways still very much a child. She plays with dolls and all that. Her only physical change at this point is to need to bathe very regularly and wear deodorant, but if there are hormones to cause emotional changes as well. She's certainly very substantially different than she was at, say, 5 or 6.  I guess I like the term "tween" because it recognizes the "still a child but starting to change a bit" place they are at.

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#7 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 07:52 AM
 
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I think think that tween *is* used as a marketing tool. And I think that the term was made up for that purpose.  Growing into adulthood is a long and wonderous process.  I hate how it has been used by companies to make money by applying labels.   And I do believe that people that buy into that consumerism kind of throw their young daughters (and yes, I think the focus is more on girls than boys) into growing up faster than they are probably emotionally and socially ready to.  I really think that media EXPLOITS the changes that are happening to these young girls by promoting a certain type of mainstream "popular" girl and all of the trappings associated with it...  and they call it "tween".

 

I don't care for the term, personally.  I really just hate the drive to get girls to be boy-crazy and popularity-crazy and clique-crazy at 9 years of age in order to sell more posters and t-shirts.  That's really what it's about.  That is the "tween" craze in a nutshell.  Instead, I think we should just help our children along the path to adulthood which is a VERY long process and it can't be packaged and labeled.

 

FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.

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#8 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 08:08 AM
 
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My DDs are now 12 and 14. My 12 year old is very much a *tween*. She isn't a child, and she isn't a teen. My 14 year old is a teenager.

 

Neither of my kids were tweens at 8. At 8, they were still little girls. Actually, both my kids stayed *kids* until they were about 12. I'm not sure why, but we seemed to miss the marketing aimed at this age group, but the shift of puberty is just a fact. And although there were very minor changes in their bodies before that, the hormonal parts didn't really kick in until 12.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#9 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 11:14 AM
 
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I'm not sure why, but we seemed to miss the marketing aimed at this age group, but the shift of puberty is just a fact. And although there were very minor changes in their bodies before that, the hormonal parts didn't really kick in until 12.


But that's why we have the term "puberty".  It's a change that everyone goes through.  "Tween" is a mindset developed by marketers to target a particular age set.

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#10 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 12:49 PM
 
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But I think *tween* is more comfortable term than *puberty.*  Saying "puberty" is like announcing your period to the world or something. I think many people are more comfortable with a term that is less.... biological.

 

And I'm not sure quite how to say this, but I think that moms thinking of their 8 year olds as "pubescent" or "tweens" or whatever word you chose could mask relationship problems or emotional problems. There are attitudes and behaviors during puberty that during any other phase of life would be a sign that a person needed some help. Sorting out when kids are doing fine and not doing fine can be difficult, and assuming that a moody 8 year old is *just being a tween* could cause a parent to ignore that the child really isn't OK.

 

The true storm of hormone based mood shifts doesn't last through out childhood.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#11 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 01:00 PM
 
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I think this is all being over thought, really.  6 is different from 8, which is different from 10, which is different from 12, which is different from 14.  Whether someone uses the words "older child" or the word "tween" isn't that big of a deal.  And most kids do hit puberty during the "tween"  years instead of at or after 13, so it seems fair to see those kids as further along than younger children.  Also, while we associate puberty in girls with menarche. there is a lot going on in the body for a while before that, and in some girls that's starting at 8.

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#12 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 01:41 PM
 
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If people don't want to use the term "adolescent" or "puberty" then why can't we just use the term "young lady" or "young man" or the generic "kids" instead of putting kids into a persona created by a marketing company?  There're a lot of "traits" associated with "tweens" that puts pressure on kids that are that age.  My great niece is a "tween" and it's horrible to see how she tries so hard to fit in when she doesn't even really LIKE what other girls her age like (she's 11).  It's really not the term itself that if off-putting for me... it's what it represents.

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#13 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 01:46 PM
 
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It doesn't represent anything to me other than "older child", and I think I remember that term being used in the late 70s when I was a "tween", so if it started as a marketing scheme, I don't think it's recent.  It might have been co-opted by marketers, but then, so are the stages of "baby" and "toddler".

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#14 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 02:42 PM
 
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I was a "tween" in the 70's.  I don't remember that term ever being used.  "Baby" and "Toddler" is marketed to parents who already have developed rationalization mechanisms and can think for themselves.  "Tween" is marketed directly to that subset of consumers who are still children when it comes to marketing savvy, but are being constantly bombarded with advertisement saying they are old enough to independently make decisions (and even influence their parents to spend).  There is a HUGE difference.

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Toddlers and young children are also directly marketed to in that way - to influence their parents to spend money.

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If people don't want to use the term "adolescent" or "puberty" then why can't we just use the term "young lady" or "young man" or the generic "kids" instead of putting kids into a persona created by a marketing company?  There're a lot of "traits" associated with "tweens" that puts pressure on kids that are that age.  My great niece is a "tween" and it's horrible to see how she tries so hard to fit in when she doesn't even really LIKE what other girls her age like (she's 11).  It's really not the term itself that if off-putting for me... it's what it represents.



I actually have a problem with the young lady and young man titles because my child is not a young lady.  I think young lady/man is a title that forces kids to act far more mature than their age and I don't like that pressure.  I think tween is a much more childlike term but that may be because we don't have a tv and we don't do advertising so I really don't know the extent of the marketing towards girls this age.  There is a store in the mall marketed towards tweens but their clothes aren't racy and I don't mind if my dd wants to shop there next time we get her more clothes.  I think fitting in is just something kids try to do, especially when they move closer to wanting independence from the style their parents have imposed on them (whether forcefully or gently).  My child has wanted to have the toys everyone else talks about since her friends started talking about their toys in preschool so I really don't think that is something that is caused by this label.

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#17 of 48 Old 12-24-2010, 08:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think think that tween *is* used as a marketing tool. And I think that the term was made up for that purpose.  Growing into adulthood is a long and wonderous process.  I hate how it has been used by companies to make money by applying labels.   And I do believe that people that buy into that consumerism kind of throw their young daughters (and yes, I think the focus is more on girls than boys) into growing up faster than they are probably emotionally and socially ready to.  I really think that media EXPLOITS the changes that are happening to these young girls by promoting a certain type of mainstream "popular" girl and all of the trappings associated with it...  and they call it "tween".

 

I don't care for the term, personally.  I really just hate the drive to get girls to be boy-crazy and popularity-crazy and clique-crazy at 9 years of age in order to sell more posters and t-shirts.  That's really what it's about.  That is the "tween" craze in a nutshell.  Instead, I think we should just help our children along the path to adulthood which is a VERY long process and it can't be packaged and labeled.

 

FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.



Thanks, it's just nice to hear someone agree with my thoughts on childhood. I too avoid the Disney shows and she is very much a little girl. A smart well-spoken little girl but a little girl, nonetheless.


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#18 of 48 Old 12-25-2010, 02:28 AM
 
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Interesting topic. (BTW, does anyone have any links to what is supposed to cause going into puberty early? I would really like to avoid that...)

 

I am not in the US but we do get all your junk here. (You know, tv shows and all that.) When I taught 8-year-olds some years back, they were all very  much "just kids." However, there minds were trying to deal with very adult things, due to the tv shows their parents were letting them watch.

 

Our neighbor just told me that their 9 year old did not ask for any toys for Christmas. Apparently, the message from peers is that it is not cool. I think out soon to be 6 yo is way younger than her peers in some things and way older in some. We are homeschoolers and don't really watch tv, so she is not affected quite the same way.


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#19 of 48 Old 12-25-2010, 10:54 AM
 
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Fair enough, though I would say that I think that people who assume that a moody 8 year old can't be that way because of pubescent hormones are just as wrong and are ignoring their child just as much.  I think a lot of people stick their heads in the sand or cast aspersions on kids (and their families) who do enter puberty on the early end of the bell curve.  I have actually personally seen someone ignore their child's body changes, to the point that the child was totally freaked when they got their period at 11.  She'd been told *nothing* because it was "too early to talk about that yet."  So it works both ways I think.

 

Again, I separate the marketing aspect from the developmental.  We don't have cable, she doesn't like to watch TV anyway, and we're not big consumers.  So really, and truly, that's not the issue, for us.  I guess I don't get why people want to demonize the idea either though--other than people are really uncomfortable with "early" puberty (though starting up at 8--not talking about getting a period at 8-- is not really that early).  For some girls, that is a reality--and they are just as precious and good as the girls who start up later.

 

I guess I kind of resent the implication that if I acknowledge that my daughter is going through puberty, therefore I am more likely to be neglecting her because of that.  And yet someone who doesn't think about that aspect is somehow not neglecting/paying attention to their kid?  And why would anyone assume that acknowledging that something may be happening because of puberty changes means that you don't talk to your kid and don't help them work through things?  That's cruel.  If someone is having a hard time, no matter what the cause, you still nuture your kid.  Period.

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And I'm not sure quite how to say this, but I think that moms thinking of their 8 year olds as "pubescent" or "tweens" or whatever word you chose could mask relationship problems or emotional problems. There are attitudes and behaviors during puberty that during any other phase of life would be a sign that a person needed some help. Sorting out when kids are doing fine and not doing fine can be difficult, and assuming that a moody 8 year old is *just being a tween* could cause a parent to ignore that the child really isn't OK.

 

The true storm of hormone based mood shifts doesn't last through out childhood.



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#20 of 48 Old 12-25-2010, 11:00 AM
 
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FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.


Disney and video games don't cause puberty.  :(

 

And even if your 9 year old had little breasts, like my does, it doesn't mean that she isn't still a sweet girl.  Nor does it mean that she doesn't like PBS (though if we're talking marketing, I don't think PBS is a saint in that regard)--mine does.  My daughter likes to climb trees, still digs in the sand at school, ect.

 

None of that would have kept the boobs and hormones away.  That is in her genes, and I love that part of her too.  I don't consider it a badge of honor OR a mark of shame that she entered puberty when she did--it's just her.  :(
 

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#21 of 48 Old 12-25-2010, 11:39 AM
 
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Interesting topic. (BTW, does anyone have any links to what is supposed to cause going into puberty early? I would really like to avoid that...)

 

I am not in the US but we do get all your junk here. (You know, tv shows and all that.) When I taught 8-year-olds some years back, they were all very  much "just kids." However, there minds were trying to deal with very adult things, due to the tv shows their parents were letting them watch.

 

Our neighbor just told me that their 9 year old did not ask for any toys for Christmas. Apparently, the message from peers is that it is not cool. I think out soon to be 6 yo is way younger than her peers in some things and way older in some. We are homeschoolers and don't really watch tv, so she is not affected quite the same way.


 

This website has some possible causes.  Genetics is what causes it in our family but on rare occasions it can also be caused by health problems.  There was some research a while back about food causing it but from what I remember it was found that if food does cause it that is because we have less starvation due to the availability of food and our bodies can mature early.

 

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/puberty.htm

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#22 of 48 Old 12-26-2010, 09:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.


Disney and video games don't cause puberty.  :(

 

And even if your 9 year old had little breasts, like my does, it doesn't mean that she isn't still a sweet girl.  Nor does it mean that she doesn't like PBS (though if we're talking marketing, I don't think PBS is a saint in that regard)--mine does.  My daughter likes to climb trees, still digs in the sand at school, ect.

 

None of that would have kept the boobs and hormones away.  That is in her genes, and I love that part of her too.  I don't consider it a badge of honor OR a mark of shame that she entered puberty when she did--it's just her.  :(
 



I'm the OP and I certainly don't object to nine year old girsl getting breasts or blame their parents.  My dd just turned 8 and s not getting them and neither is her friend who is about to turn nine. But her friend has decided toys are not cool and ipods are. I think that has nothing to do with puberty or being 8.. That is what you are exposed to.

I got breasts at ten or eleven.  I wasn't ready to be done playing with toys but I was very much pressured to do so.  I think that is what's happening with this tween label--little girls are being rushed to grow up in a way that has nothing to do with their bodies.


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#23 of 48 Old 12-26-2010, 12:55 PM
 
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I always cringe when I read comments that sound negative or frightened about girls entering puberty.  This is just something that happens, and thinking that we can control it with the right foods, the right lifestyle, the right books or movies, is a shame.  Most of us here are extremely careful in our parenting/lifestyle choices, and we see our daughters entering puberty when their bodies are ready.  I would hate to give a negative message about this to our daughters.

 

My 12 y/o is a "tween", and not because she was marketed to.  It really does describe where she's at right now.  And FWIW, she loves dolls, is extremely athletic and outdoors oriented, watches TV/movies, but doesn't imitate the negative stereotypes, still plays-etc.  She is also increasingly mature, and definitely has a toe in the world of older kids.  She's level headed and lovely, and frustratingly stubborn and hormonal at times. She is really "in between" two worlds right now. I feel it would be inaccurate and disrespectful to suggest that she's not in this "tween" phase.  She would hate it if I insisted on calling it puberty, although this is a term she's pretty familiar with.

 

Within her friends, some started physical changes around 8 or 9, most at 10, but 12 is definitely a different experience-I think as a pp said, because there are hormonal changes happening.  

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#24 of 48 Old 12-26-2010, 01:13 PM
 
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FTR - my dd will be 9 soon and she shows not one single sign of entering puberty.  She is still VERY much a child.  She knows the name of popular "tween" trends (although she still thinks his name is Justin Beaver, lol) from her friends at school, but she is absolutely not interested in them.  She still likes Curious George and other PBS programs and has never seen any Disney or played video games. Then again, we don't have media influence in our home like many do.  I'm planning to let her be a child as long as she needs to be.  I won't let a label or the marketing companies grow her up any faster than she will on her own.


Disney and video games don't cause puberty.  :(

 

And even if your 9 year old had little breasts, like my does, it doesn't mean that she isn't still a sweet girl.  Nor does it mean that she doesn't like PBS (though if we're talking marketing, I don't think PBS is a saint in that regard)--mine does.  My daughter likes to climb trees, still digs in the sand at school, ect.

 

None of that would have kept the boobs and hormones away.  That is in her genes, and I love that part of her too.  I don't consider it a badge of honor OR a mark of shame that she entered puberty when she did--it's just her.  :(
 

 

And I didn't imply that they did.  The point I was making is that Disney and ilk try to grow up our children, not physically, but emotionally and socially, far too quickly because it makes them money.  Obviously, puberty is a physical change that brings about some emotional and social changes.  But just because an 8 or 9 year old has become a woman physically, it doesn't mean they are ready to embark all on things that are associated with womanhood.  My niece had precocious puberty, but in spite of having a monthly cycle, she was still VERY much a child.  They don't go hand-in-hand.  Just because a girl is developing breasts doesn't mean that she is ready to meet the world of dating, boys, cliques, crushes, popularity contests, back-biting, gossiping, and all the other "tween traits" that Disney exposes that age set to.  A girl that is developing breasts doesn't have to conform to the trappings of what "tween" represents.

 

ETA:  What their marketing research has found is that the Disney Princesses are great money makers for the 3 -7 yo set.  Then they don't know what to do with the 8, 9, 10, 11 year olds.  They're too old for the Princesses, but really, emotionally too young for the Hana Montana.  So... voila... move them into the Hana Montana set earlier.  More time to make money.
 

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#25 of 48 Old 12-26-2010, 02:25 PM
 
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Well, nobody is ready for back-biting, gossip, and cliques.  And hormones cause, in addition to physical maturing, crushes, interest in boys (or girls) and dating.  They don't necessarily go exactly hand in hand.  I didn't start being interested in boys until more like 14, despite having started my period a year or two earlier.  But certainly at least some girls who started their periods at 8 or 9 are going to be interested in boys during those "tween" years, and just naturally so, not because of Disney.

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#26 of 48 Old 12-26-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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When I think of influences that could be challenging during the tween years, honestly, Disney products wouldn't really be a big concern.  I can appreciate that a family might want to avoid them, but within a healthy family I think media influences can be put into appropriate context.

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#27 of 48 Old 12-26-2010, 05:02 PM
 
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Well, I was using Disney as an example of what is hundreds of subtle influences that grow up our children more quickly these days.  It really is everywhere.  A little bit here and there isn't probably going to do much and I definitely think that a child's home life is the most important factor.  However it seems to have a cumulative effect.  Before you know it, your 10 year old daughter is acting more like she's 17.  I've seen it over and again with the kids I've watched growing up that are regular patrons at the library where I work.  We have one girl who is 9 that we have to constantly remind to keep her pants pulled up because she wears these thong underwear and low-rise jeans.  I doubt she's mature enough to really understand the implications of what she is doing but the social influences don't come with instructions or a list of consequences.  But the "excuse" is, "Oh, just your typical 'tween'." shake.gif  Typical for "tween", but is it typical for a 9 year old?  I don't think so.  The term permits a child to act like a teen when they are neither emotionally or socially ready to be a teen.  JMO and I'm fine with people not agreeing.  (I always like to hear the other side.)  But I stand by that opinion.

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#28 of 48 Old 12-27-2010, 09:47 AM
 
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With respect, perhaps the people who state over and over that their child shows absolutely no indications of puberty perhaps haven't had the opportunity to personally guide their kid through (or aren't in the process of figuring out how to do so themselves--it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be) the very confusing time where a child who is still very much a girl also must struggle with impulses that are the beginnings of adulthood as well.  I'm sure you can shame and suppress those thoughts/impulses, but...I don't think anyone here would *want* to do that.

 

I think that's where there is a disconnect, between people who primarily see a label as marketing, and those of us who (while we may not care about the specific label) don't mind there being a name for that delicate inbetween stage.  How one "permits" their children to act has nothing to do with the label, and everything to do with parenting.

 

My kid *is* starting to notice some new sexual aspects of her being.  Not all the time, just in fits and starts.  I feel like I must walk on eggshells as it is, gently guiding her about our family/religious moral/ethical standards but not wishing to embarass or misinform her or crush that delightful part of her.  She *does* have to deal with new (at least to her) surges in intense emotion/crushes (that right now rarely have anything to do with sexuality) that she did not really have before.  She has to deal with her body changing--the boobs are a kind of fun minor annoyance for her--what has been difficult is the slow shift in center of gravity, her starting to develop more of a "shape" than her beanpole self, and her huge huge huge growth spurt (5 inches and counting over the last year) along with the aches and pains and unheard of (for her, naturally graceful and balanced) clumsiness.  She has noticed that there are some little girl styles that she can't wear comfortably anymore (and not for modesty reasons, it's just uncomfortable).

 

I agree in the hands of marketers they can take that inbetween stage and prey on the insecurities/changes/new fangled stuff--but it's about more than that.

 

I wish I was less shocked over and over about the hostile tone towards puberty that I see on MDC.  Then again, before I was sensitized to it due to my DD, I probably contributed to it, after all, since I was AP, limited TV, fed my kids good stuff and not SAD, we weren't going to have problems like that, after all.

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#29 of 48 Old 12-27-2010, 10:34 AM
 
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Tigerchild, you make a lot of sense.  I've been reading this thread with interest, not because we're at that stage (DD is only three) but because I was an early developer.  Got breasts early, got my period early, got interested in boys early.  This was in the 80s, so marketing wasn't quite at the level it is now, but my friends and I did love watching John Hughes movies (16 candles, Pretty in Pink, etc.), buying Wet n' Wild makeup, talking about boys and having "boyfriends", as early as around 4th or 5th grade, I believe.  We also still loved our dolls, stuffed animals, riding bikes around town, playing chase on the playground, etc.  I think all of this is normal - we really were between to worlds.

 

I feel like I'm reading a bit of pride from some on MDC that their DD isn't into anything like that yet, still plays with all her toys, isn't interested in "romantic" stuff, and hasn't entered puberty.  To me, that reads like one way of being is preferable to another, when really, either way is just the way we are.  Sure, there are influences from media and friends, but our body is really driving so much of what's happening during this age period. 


Developing early wasn't easy, and I'm glad my mom didn't make me feel like there was something wrong with me, or that being another, more child-like way would be preferable to the way I just was.

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#30 of 48 Old 12-27-2010, 10:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post

With respect, perhaps the people who state over and over that their child shows absolutely no indications of puberty perhaps haven't had the opportunity to personally guide their kid through (or aren't in the process of figuring out how to do so themselves--it's a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be) the very confusing time where a child who is still very much a girl also must struggle with impulses that are the beginnings of adulthood as well.


I am "the people" you're speaking of, however, I've helped/am helping 2 generations of girls navigate puberty, so if you think I don't know what I'm talking about, I assure you that I have the experience (twice over) and am speaking from that experience.  I was the "go-to" next-door aunt when my nieces were going through puberty in the 80s and now their kids are going through puberty (one with precocious puberty) and I've been on-hand for them as well.  My dd is younger, so I'll be going through this a third time soon, I expect.  With respect... I am not randomly forming my opinions.  They are rooted in personal truths and keen observation that I'm using to make my dd's journey the easiest possible.  Perhaps you don't understand because you're just starting the journey.  And just because I'm "old" by MDC standards, doesn't mean I don't remember my own adolescence.

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