My dd doesn't want to go to daycare/pre-school/school - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 31 Old 01-13-2011, 07:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by meemee View Post

 

i knew dd truly enjoyed dc. she really did. but given a choice she'd rather be with me doing our thing. 



None of us get to always do what we want.  If your child is doing well in daycare, happy and playing; enjoying herself, then I doubt it is harmful for her to be there.  I encourage you to follow your instincts, as I follow mine.


see i totally hear you. i really do. but it was hard for both dd and me. my instincts were to take dd out of school. which i did by reducing her hours when i was unemployed.

 

however i really hate how our children have to learn that 'None of us get to always do what we want' so young ya know. dd started dc at 2. i know if she had started at 4 or even 3 she would have been a happier child and adjusted much better. 

 

i think its our children's birth right to have their parents for as long as they want and it pains me to see how many dont. 

 

dd had to grow up early. she had to learn well this is the hand life hands me. might as well enjoy it. i feel she was robbed of her childhood. 

 

not all children are like her. many love and enjoy and fit in their dc - not do it because their other choice is too painful. 


Thank you for this response.  I think I understand where you're coming from.  As I said before, if I weren't able to make things better for dd, I would have pulled her out, for sure, despite the fact that I feel like I really need them to be somewhere else part time.  The daycare people kept saying that she was okay once I left and that she was engaged and would smile and play, but I kept feeling like they hadn't seen the real her yet; she is a very energetic and joyful child, and is not shy in the least.  I knew she was not okay.  When she switched rooms, she acted completely differently; it was clear to everyone that it was a much better environment for her.  I will be watching closely, as always, to make sure I am comfortable with her situation.

 

I applaud you for following your instincts and doing what was best for your child.  I implore you to forgive yourself for whatever harm you think you may have done to your daughter's childhood.  She is fortunate to have a thoughtful, committed, and passionate mother who will fight for her.

 

I think it is a matter of degrees and circumstance.  I think it is important for children to begin to learn very early on that we can't all have what we want all the time.  My one-year-old, with an older sister, has had many more opportunities to work on that than dd had at his age.  I don't think it is harmful to him, and I don't think it is robbing him of his childhood.  He still gets what he wants first more than anyone else in the family, because he's still a baby, but he also has to wait his turn and can't be held by me when I am pouring the pasta into the colander.  I want my children to learn now how to share and compromise and cooperate gracefully...it is part of their work as children.

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