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#1 of 19 Old 02-03-2011, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH will be traveling to India in a year for a professional conference. I'm always itching to see new places and I would LOVE to go with him (the conference is of interest to me too, even though it seems crazy to travel to the other side of the world for it). I think we're planning on the two of us going, but the question is should we bring dd? One option is to bring her (she'll be 5.5) and take turns doing conference stuff. DH is one of the speakers, so he'll be most busy. It's a grueling trip there and back. It would take place during school vacation week. The other option is to have MIL come to our house and stay with dd for a week. We've never done that before, and while I know they would be fine together, that feels like a really long time for us both to be away from her--especially when we are so far away. Actually, another option is to send dd to PA to be with MIL there. The logistics of that would be tricky, but we could probably work something out. The longest I've been away from DD, while she was home with dh, was 4 days. The last option, of course, is for dh to go without us and I harbor lifelong jealousy that he got to go to India and I didn't. Just kidding! (Mostly.) WWYD?

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#2 of 19 Old 02-03-2011, 08:34 PM
 
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i took my DD to europe when she was 20 months and i was pregnant with my second.  it was a grueling trip, there was a 9 hour bus ride in there somewhere (and one back) and she didn't switch her sleep until the 3rd week but i don't regret any of it.  i wore her and chased after her and we did fun things and while she doesn't remember any of it, she likes to look at the pics.

 

i say, take everyone.  it is going to be an adventure!  see if you can't connect with someone there so that you aren't all alone though.

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#3 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 05:46 AM
 
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What a fabulous opportunity.

 

If I could manage it, I might extend the trip to 10 days or 2 weeks. That allows you to add in a stopover or a rest day or 2 to help your DD with the traveling. Then I would pack everyone up and go and have a great time. Even if it is just a week, I would still take her.

 

I suppose I might leave her behind if there were a lot of planned activities that she couldn't participate in and it would be awkward to have her there. I know conferences often have social events, cocktail parties, awards dinners, etc. that are just as important as the seminars and lectures, for networking and business purposes. If that isn't really a consideration, then I'd take her. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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#4 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 07:22 AM
 
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its just for a week right? max 10 days with all teh travelling.

 

i would NOT NEVER NADA take dd. 

 

because of the time change. it would take her just a week to get used to teh time difference (12 hours i think - so night and day). send her to PA to stay with gparents. i tell you she WILL miss you but she will also have a BLAST. at 6 dd went to canada and was away from me for the first time for 10 days. while she missed me terribly she had a BLAST and cant wait to do it again. 

 

however i would DEFINITELY not miss hte opportunity. 

 

go go go.

 

your dd is old enough.

 

no way in the world would i miss going to india. never. not with a 5 year old. if you were going for 3 weeks i'd take dd with me. anything less than 3 weeks is just not worth it with such a huge time difference. 

 

if your dd is as social as mine is - mine had a blast there (she wants to go back there and japan for high school - to live there and experience it - she loved those places so much). in fact after we got back she wanted to pack her gparents and daddy and all of us move to india. 


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#5 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 07:29 AM
 
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I would not want to miss this fabulous opportunity if I were you!  And I think that your DD will be old enough to handle the experience by the time next year rolls around.

 

I'm not sure if it is your husband's company that is paying your way or not but, if not, allow me to suggest a much easier way to travel than commercial airlines.  There is a company called NetJets that we belong to and you basically buy a small "share" in it that allows you access to a private plane when you need it.  I believe the price of the share is related to how often you use the plane, but don't quote me on that.  DH had an account before we were married so I'm not exactly sure how it's set up.  I do know, however, that it makes travel SO MUCH easier with a baby; lots of room, no security hassles and you order  your food and drink beforehand so you know what you'll be eating.  It's really a great idea; I swear by it!


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#6 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 08:27 AM
 
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I would not miss the trip.

 

I'd ask your dd which she'd prefer.  "Grandma  to come here? or you go to PA to stay with grandma?"  Then, I'd go from there.  But, I don't think she'd enjoy such a long difficult trip.  If someone would just invent a "Beam me up Scotty" way of travel, that would be different.

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#7 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 08:29 AM
 
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Also, I'd check and see if there's anything special going on in PA the week she'd be there.  Like some local festival that Grandma would like to take her to.  Or if she has cousins there, or anything that would make her vacation really fun.

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#8 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 08:44 AM
 
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The different views on whether your DD should stay or go are interesting. They are probably based on personal experience with individual children.

 

My kids have always been fairly good travelers. They took disruptions in their routines fairly well (although I recall one hellish cross-continental airplane trip involving a lengthy delay on take-off, a crying baby, nursing troubles and some seriously frazzled nerves). They are pretty easy-going, like new places and hotel rooms and eating out. Jet lag isn't a big problem, as long as there's an opportunity to rest up a little and take it easy for a bit. Entertainment on long rides is a challenge, but it not an overwhelming or impossible one. 

 

If you think your DD will be overwhelmed with the disruption caused by travel, unable to cope with the time differences and jet lag, and basically unhappy with the travel experience, then definitely leave her with her grandmother. They will have a great time together doing fun things. You can have a fantastic trip with your DH.  You'll miss your DD, of course, but perhaps you can extend her school holiday a little so that when you get home you can have a lovely mini-vacation re-connecting with her. 

 

 

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#9 of 19 Old 02-04-2011, 11:13 AM
 
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I have taken both kids to India before (dh is from there) and it was a wonderful trip. My oldest remembers it very well still, and the youngest one remembers bits and pieces. It's totally doable, esp. if you stay in a nicer hotel. You can arrange for some tours that cater to western folks. I really think that would be the esiest option when travling with little ones.


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#10 of 19 Old 02-06-2011, 06:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

The different views on whether your DD should stay or go are interesting. They are probably based on personal experience with individual children.

 



I agree.  I would take dd, at any age, in a heartbeat.  We've been traveling all over the world with her since she was 5 months old.  She's a great traveler, and actually adjusts to the time changes better than we do.  It will depend largely on your own child, though.  You have to kind of evaluate it individually.

 

Getting to and from India will take you two full days, so keep that in mind. If you are going to be there for a week, that means you will need 11 days total to include travel time.  I wouldn't let that put you off, though.  We've had many, many trips with dd that took 2 days and honestly, with all there is new to experience, she seems to weather these journeys better than we do.  I suppose kids are more resilient, all around.

 

India is also very child friendly, in general IMO (not sure where you are going).  If you are going to be in an urban area like Mumbai or New Delhi, it will very interesting even at 5.5 yo. 

 

Absolutely take her.  It will be a blast, she'll get to experience some new food, new sounds, new smells, new culture, and new people.  That is, IMO, one of the most important things you can do for a child.

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#11 of 19 Old 02-06-2011, 04:59 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by ollyoxenfree View Post

 

The different views on whether your DD should stay or go are interesting. They are probably based on personal experience with individual children.

 


i agree.

 

but i also think because my dd has been travelling since she was 2 months old... it has helped her be a great traveller. 

 

dd's friend who also has been travelling since he was 6 months old - but a child who is just the opposite of dd - needs down time, structure, gets overwhelmed in a crowd, noises - also 'changes' while travelling. he puts up with much more while travelling than he would while at home/hometerritory. 


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#12 of 19 Old 02-06-2011, 05:19 PM
 
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Our DD has been all over the world with us and I would recommend it -- HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone address this issue:  Our DD is not vaxed, and I would very much hesitate to take her to India.  I don't know if this would be an issue for you, but so far the only developing country we have taken our DD to is one in Asia, and I was paranoid the entire trip.  Something else for you to think about . . . but if she is vaxed I would say go for it!

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#13 of 19 Old 02-06-2011, 08:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by loveandkindness View Post

Our DD has been all over the world with us and I would recommend it -- HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone address this issue:  Our DD is not vaxed, and I would very much hesitate to take her to India.  I don't know if this would be an issue for you, but so far the only developing country we have taken our DD to is one in Asia, and I was paranoid the entire trip.  Something else for you to think about . . . but if she is vaxed I would say go for it!


That actually is something I've thought about. DD has only had DTaP, so I don't know how I would handle that.

 

DD does travel well and loves to see new things--within her structure and comfort level. She sticks firmly to her sleep schedules. (once she adjusts to the time change. The most she's ever done is 2 hours difference.) She seems to expect a certain level of normalcy, even away from home. Today out of the blue she said she can't sleep on airplanes and therefore wouldn't be able to go on a very long flight because she'd be too tired. And I think to a certain extent she's right. If she really couldn't fall asleep, it would be a LONG, miserable flight. But then again, whenever travel feels stressful to me and dh, she's happily running around the airport or watching people or whatever. As long as she's not tired or hungry, the actual travel seems pretty easy and enjoyable for her.

 

DH can't even wrap his head around taking her. I don't think he's considered it for a second.

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#14 of 19 Old 02-07-2011, 09:52 AM
 
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Originally Posted by loveandkindness View Post

Our DD has been all over the world with us and I would recommend it -- HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone address this issue:  Our DD is not vaxed, and I would very much hesitate to take her to India.  I don't know if this would be an issue for you, but so far the only developing country we have taken our DD to is one in Asia, and I was paranoid the entire trip.  Something else for you to think about . . . but if she is vaxed I would say go for it!


Yes, there is often a thread about this in the vax forum . you should go there and check it out. We do vax, and I did see active polio in India when I was there, among other things. Very sad indeed.


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#15 of 19 Old 02-07-2011, 10:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loveandkindness View Post

Our DD has been all over the world with us and I would recommend it -- HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone address this issue:  Our DD is not vaxed, and I would very much hesitate to take her to India.  I don't know if this would be an issue for you, but so far the only developing country we have taken our DD to is one in Asia, and I was paranoid the entire trip.  Something else for you to think about . . . but if she is vaxed I would say go for it!



Oh, I am glad this finally was mentioned by someone.  Our 4.5 yo is partially vaxed, and I still dread the idea of ever taking her to Vietnam to visit family, at least until she is quite a bit older.  I got horribly sick the last time we were there eight years ago, but not from malaria or polio or anything like that-- things to consider away from any hotels or conference centers: water quality, food that is properly cooked and stored, simple exposure to new bacteria/germs/viruses, bathroom facilities (type,quality, and availability), HEAT AND HUMIDITY, noisy crowds, etc.  We are from Minnesota, our daughter went into literal meltdown on a trip to south Texas in August (scorcher).  She couldn't bear the heat, so I have no doubt southern Asia, for the time being anyway, would be out of the question.  The thought of her digestive system reacting to the trip like mine did scares the bejeezuz out of me, and I normally have an iron gut.

 

 Is it possible if your little one were to stay with grandparents while you go that you call once every day or two to say hi, see how everything is going, etc. if that would put minds at ease all around?  Or would that just be a bad reminder of the time and distance?

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#16 of 19 Old 02-08-2011, 05:30 AM
 
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loveandkindness View Post

Our DD has been all over the world with us and I would recommend it -- HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone address this issue:  Our DD is not vaxed, and I would very much hesitate to take her to India.  I don't know if this would be an issue for you, but so far the only developing country we have taken our DD to is one in Asia, and I was paranoid the entire trip.  Something else for you to think about . . . but if she is vaxed I would say go for it!


Yes, there is often a thread about this in the vax forum . you should go there and check it out. We do vax, and I did see active polio in India when I was there, among other things. Very sad indeed.

 I'm glad this was brought up too.  We vax, as well, (delayed, but dd is now 9 and fully vaxed except for varicella) and our travels was one of, if not THE main reason for this. We eat locally on trips and often that means that we're not eating as well of a balanced diet as we do at home.  For that reason, it's inevitable that our immune systems take a hit.  So, I will amend my previous statement and say that if you don't vax, I wouldn't go to India, but if you do, I would still absolutely go.

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#17 of 19 Old 02-08-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loveandkindness View Post

Our DD has been all over the world with us and I would recommend it -- HOWEVER, I have not seen anyone address this issue:  Our DD is not vaxed, and I would very much hesitate to take her to India.  I don't know if this would be an issue for you, but so far the only developing country we have taken our DD to is one in Asia, and I was paranoid the entire trip.  Something else for you to think about . . . but if she is vaxed I would say go for it!


That's part of the reason why we do vax...as we travel back and forth to Egypt a lot.  We're also considering the rabies and TB vaxes, because of that fact. 

 

For us, I'd definitely take her.  

 

If you do plan to take her, check out the Multicultural parenting forum for tips.


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#18 of 19 Old 02-08-2011, 07:54 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Lamashtu View Post

I would not want to miss this fabulous opportunity if I were you!  And I think that your DD will be old enough to handle the experience by the time next year rolls around.

 

I'm not sure if it is your husband's company that is paying your way or not but, if not, allow me to suggest a much easier way to travel than commercial airlines.  There is a company called NetJets that we belong to and you basically buy a small "share" in it that allows you access to a private plane when you need it.  I believe the price of the share is related to how often you use the plane, but don't quote me on that.  DH had an account before we were married so I'm not exactly sure how it's set up.  I do know, however, that it makes travel SO MUCH easier with a baby; lots of room, no security hassles and you order  your food and drink beforehand so you know what you'll be eating.  It's really a great idea; I swear by it!


 

Yes, private planes are nice, but not accessible for most Mamas or people.  One has to commit to either a 1/16 ownership in a plane, and commit to a number of years... or one can buy a Marquis Jet card for 25 hours of flying.  The cheaper option, the Marquis Jet card, is $115,900.  I think that if you are flying internationally, and have funds like that, you're probably better off just flying First or Business class.  I know the company I used to work for would pay for Business class for international flights, but you could usually negotiate for 2 coach tickets if you wanted to bring a spouse.


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#19 of 19 Old 02-08-2011, 11:23 AM
 
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i stopped dd's vaxing after her reaction. she has had her DTaP. 

 

i choose not to give her anything else. 

 

my only concern is Polio. i would much rather her get TB than take the vax. but that's my own opinion. 

 

we also did the basic care for mosquitoes. long sleeves, mosquito nets. took some DEET products but ended up not using them. 

 

i guess what i am saying is i have taken dd without freaking out myself and she has never been sick even though we've been to asia for months at a time. 

 

however dd is also strong as a horse with excellent immunity. she does get horribly sick but only for a short while. by the end of the first month i am not so careful. she caught the stomach bug in portland, OR but never anything in india or other asian countries where i stopped being so vigilant. i could do that because she has a strong system.

 

i am hoping that when she starts travelling on her own she would be like her canadian cousin who travels all over developing countries as a young adult and eats local food - even street side food without getting sick.


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