Constant compliment seeking 4 year old.... - Mothering Forums
The Childhood Years > Constant compliment seeking 4 year old....
JsJa2002's Avatar JsJa2002 03:21 PM 03-09-2011

To start, she is never without a compliment.  She is the only girl in 20 yrs on hubby's side and has been called beautiful, pretty girl etc by the women of his family since she was an infant.  We all dote over her dress ups, singing, dancing etc and she loves it.  She'll break out her FP karoke radio and dance a song or 2 or 3 for you at the drop of a hat.  With all that being said, I LOVE her personality.  I remember being so unbelievable shy as a child and I'm so grateful she is not.  Lately she has gone up to a few strangers here and there will strike a pose looking for a "beautiful" or "I love your shoes" etc. type of compliment.  Or she will get dressed and say "Oh such and such is going to say how beautiful I look in this dress".  If someone doesn't notice a new outfit or accessorie she will ask me if I think they think she is beautiful and why didn't they tell her.  As oher parents, would you find this annoying or prissy?  I don't want her to appear snobby but I also don't want to do anything to hurt her self-esteem (I have always had low self-esteem).  I think what she does is cute and I'm just curious to see what others might think.


pbjmama's Avatar pbjmama 04:03 PM 03-09-2011

I think kids seeking attention is normal. I try to focus more on things like "I noticed you were being kind to your sister, that must have felt good" or "I'm proud to see you sharing with your friend". Appearances can be important but if all the focus is on appearances all the time I think it is unhealthy.

meemee's Avatar meemee 08:22 PM 03-09-2011

ah mama, if she is going to go to school next year at 5 give her the one year to preen and be totally into herself. 5 usually is a big shock. the world does NOT revolve around her. 


so no i would not be annoyed or prissy. however when my dd was 3 and you asked me i probably would have said annoying because i didnt know. now my dd is older my parenting outlook changed a lot for the younger years. 


i would start watching it more next year to find if she is really buying into it. i wouldnt try to change people's comments. i would try to get her to explore what she thinks of herself.