At the end of my rope with almost 8 yr old. - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 03-12-2011, 04:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
alternamama82's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

My oldest dd has always had behavior issues to varying degrees. I have always sworn that I would never medicate my children, but I have thrown my hands in the air and have exhausted all of my options!

 

She is super, SUPER hyperactive at home. I can ask her ten times to settle down, but it's like she has no control over it! It's gotten so bad that I am afraid to leave my 10 month old baby near her, because he always comes close to getting hurt, or does get hurt.Just a few minutes ago she was spazzing out with her guitar in the living room (he was in his walker near her,) and she swung the guitar around and clocked him in the head, leaving a cut and goose egg just ABOVE HIS EYE!!! I was LIVID!! Maybe an hour before this incident, my son was laying on the living room floor and she ran across the living room and almost jumped on his head as she went past him! She is always jumping/kicking her legs/bouncing/singing things around and never aware of anyone or anything around her. I just don't know what to do anymore... This has been going on for such a long time, and I dread weekends when she will be home for two whole days because it is so stressful and I constantly have to be looking out for the safety of the two younger kids. I have tried everything to get her to listen, but it's almost as though she just can't. She tries at first but then slips back into the unwanted behavior very quickly. It is really taking a toll on our entire family.


Mom to three girls and a BOY: (2003) (2007) (3/25/2009 - 4/10/2009) (5/2010)
Blogging my way through grief. Look in my profile for link.
alternamama82 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 7 Old 03-12-2011, 06:39 PM
 
chaimom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 481
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Have you looked at exercise? Can you get a trampoline and have her bounce for a while?    A wii or kinect game that has her moving? What about joining gymnastics or basketball or soccer or swim team? Sounds like she has a lot of energy!  I would do everything I could to avoid any kind of medication, too. 

chaimom is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 03-12-2011, 08:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
alternamama82's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you for the suggestions. She is in gymnastics, and her school has integrated lots of 'activity break' type things in during the day, so I know she's not just stuck at a desk for hours on end (like I was, back in the day. Boy, how did we survive? *chuckle*)

 

She is very active outdoors in the summer. We are up North, in Canada, so getting outside every day to play is a challenge with the weather which is usually extremely cold in winter. She is certainly good at creating her own ways to release her energy, constantly moving and dancing any time there is even the slightest bit of music in the background. And well... moving fast almost always, lol.

 

There are some other things which make me wonder if there is something more going on than just a lot of built up energy though. Her mouth goes a mile a minute, and even when she's not talking there is some sort of sound coming from her mouth. She does this humming thing and I wonder if it is a tic. I've asked her before if she can stop herself from doing it, or if it is out of her control, and she has told me more than once that she can't stop herself.

 

We don't have any video games, although I'm sure she would love a wii or something similar. I'm sure it would help direct her energy into something productive, but as soon as she were to step away from it the undesirable behavior would pick up from there. She is one of those kids who NEVER gets tired, even after lots and lots of activity. I am going to look into meditation, but I don't think her attention span would last.


Mom to three girls and a BOY: (2003) (2007) (3/25/2009 - 4/10/2009) (5/2010)
Blogging my way through grief. Look in my profile for link.
alternamama82 is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 03-12-2011, 11:37 PM
 
ElliesMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

why don't you get a professional consult (medical) and see what they recommend? you can always take it or leave it (their advice.)

 

that said... can you put her to work? i'm not sure doing what exactly, but with that kind of energy abounding, you can't just have her jumping all over the house all day long, especially with a young baby around. not sure what your exact situation is, but can you create some "make work" projects/chores for her to do on a regular basis, and give her some reward/payment for doing them? 

 

what exactly depends on your situation, but these would always be physically exerting activities, such as:

 

collecting firewood from the yard

pulling weeds from the garden

mowing the grass (i think you said she's 10?)

walking the dog (or perhaps she could do dog walking for others in your neighborhood?)

pet grooming in general (dog baths, brushings, etc. are physically exerting)

pick up litter from your yard or all around the block

carry in all the groceries from the car

make the beds/flip the mattresses (or help with it)

rake leaves

dethatch the grass

 

some other ideas to wear her out or try to anyways:

 

pilates exercise videos for her to do / channel her energy into physical fitness

 

as for the talking fast and always situation: take her to an auction and let her hear the auctioneer. can she practice doing that? just thinking of some other ways to channel this great energy she has.

 

what did people do in the days before medications, when they were hyperactive (which it sounds like she is) -- no doubt, the auctioneers have at least a touch of it, or maybe just a great voice? but somehow they are able to speak super fast. 

 

just some ideas, hope it helps.


ElliesMomma is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 03-12-2011, 11:44 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I would read up on ADHD and on Sensory Processing issues. Sometimes kids have one, sometimes both and they often co-occur (the constant humming made me think of sensory issues -- if she's a sensory seeker, that might be part of it). If it's ADHD, then she does have a condition where medication might help. However, to be diagnosed with ADHD, she has to show the symptoms in multiple environments -- is she having problems at school? If she's not, then I'd look into sensory stuff first. If she is, then ADHD first.

 

What research is showing is that kids with these issues have brain development that's different. In particular, the frontal lobe development (the one that's important for a lot of self-control) is delayed. There are occupational therapy exercises and tools that can help both. But it's important to realize that she'll need extra help for self-regulation stuff and that she'll probably need a lot more structure and repetition to learn it. She can learn it, but it's harder work and it may take longer.


Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 03-13-2011, 07:44 AM
 
Polliwog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,999
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post

I would read up on ADHD and on Sensory Processing issues. Sometimes kids have one, sometimes both and they often co-occur (the constant humming made me think of sensory issues -- if she's a sensory seeker, that might be part of it). If it's ADHD, then she does have a condition where medication might help. However, to be diagnosed with ADHD, she has to show the symptoms in multiple environments -- is she having problems at school? If she's not, then I'd look into sensory stuff first. If she is, then ADHD first.

 

What research is showing is that kids with these issues have brain development that's different. In particular, the frontal lobe development (the one that's important for a lot of self-control) is delayed. There are occupational therapy exercises and tools that can help both. But it's important to realize that she'll need extra help for self-regulation stuff and that she'll probably need a lot more structure and repetition to learn it. She can learn it, but it's harder work and it may take longer.



That's what I'd suggest, too. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and OT has really helped, as has working weekly with a psychologist. There is no current need for medication so we haven't explored that possibility. HOWEVER, I was diagnosed with Adult ADHD at age 40. Medication, when I can afford it, has changed my life. I wish that my parents would have had access to appropriate medication when I was a child.

Polliwog is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 03-14-2011, 09:32 PM
 
aishamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

Does she have enough to do? Maybe you can stimulate her in other ways instead of letting her run and bounce all over the house? What does she eat everyday? How often is she eating? What is her sleeping like?   If there are no issues with these things, maybe you're going to have to force her to sit at certain hours and be still in quiet activities and designate other hours for planned physical activity like some other have suggested. Instead of trying to wear her out, I'd say she needs to rather learn how to moderate herself. That's going to be kind of tough on you but I'd lean towards learning appropriate times and appropriate places. 

 


Mama to 3 boys ( 6, 4, 2 ) and one baby girl!  

aishamama is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off