Disclaimer -- my 1.5yo is going on 8 weeks of being sick and I am totally sleep deprived.
But, my 4yo whines, melts down, tries to make me do things for her, refuses to do what I ask, screams her head off and bangs on the walls/door/etc. when I send her to her room (I suppose some people don't agree with that tactic, but I refuse to allow her to dominate our small living space with her unacceptable behavior).
She was so independent and helpful at 3.5 and now at 4 she is melting down -- last night I had to get her ready for bed like a baby with her kicking and screaming the whole time. I am so frustrated.
My 1.5yo is having meltdowns now too, and he's not sleeping, so they tend to happen for long periods of time in the middle of the night.
But, really, how do I help my 4yo feel secure, happy, cared for, and capable? She is driving me crazy. How ought I respond when she acts super naughty? I don't want her yelling and whining at me. I don't want her kicking and screaming. I don't want to encourage that. I try to ignore it as much as I can, but it really wears on me, and then I have a hard time keeping my cool.
Okay, maybe I just needed to write that, but I'd love for you to share what really helps you through the day, your favorite books, mantras, affirmations, tactics, etc. Commiseration always helps too; it's nice to know I'm not the only mama out there who is struggling and doesn't always do the right thing.