aw thanks! sometimes he looks like he belongs in like longbeach california in the early 80s. heh.
homeschooling mom to coco (9/2006)
baby house to a new little (1/2015)
Here's my long haired little guy. He just turned 3 last week. He's never had a hair cut, but I think we're going to get it trimmed sometime soon. The ends are really tangly, but we're not really going to take any length off. He loves his hair.
My son had long hair up until 2 months ago. We finally had to cut it because he having recurring eye irritations that were getting worse because his hands were always up there brushing his hair out of his eyes. He now has a shaggy, shorter cut.
He was always being mistaken for a girl but it didn't bother him. The funny thing is, all the kids his age knew he was a boy. The adults always got it wrong.
Anyway, this was his hair at it's longest length:
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" ~~ MLK
My longhaired son occasionally gets indignant when he's referred to as a girl. It's nothing to do with gender assumptions and everything to do with the fact that he is really a dinosaur/steam engine/racecar.
When rude people ask me what "his father" thinks, I typically show them a picture of DH.
Chasing DS since April 2007 and pumping for DD March 2013.
My son has always had the same thing happen to him. He has had long hair all of his life and he is now 13 going on 14. We have never cared because he likes it and is in fact a surfer dude. Besides, being called a girl is nothing bad really, there is nothing wrong with being a girl. You can see him here http://www.mothering.com/community/gallery/album/view/id/8214/user_id/171845
As mom of kids who have never gone against society's gender standards I feel awkward when I don't know if a kid is male or female. I KNOW it shouldn't matter and it really doesn't but we don't have gender neutral pronouns so my language is all convoluted in order to avoid any pronoun use. Imagine being at the public sandbox and needing to say "Perhaps that child doesn't want you to play with the structure that child is creating." vs "She doesn't want you to destroy her castle."
And no child under about 10/11 years has, imo, masculine or feminine features.
Me. With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.
LOVE the onesies! I spotted those before I even looked at your adorable kids...sorry
As far as gender typical or whatever, DH has hair that is way past his shoulders, DD is almost 2 and has short curly hair, I dress her in blue ALL the time. She looks cute in it and it's my favorite color. She gets called a boy a lot. I laugh when it happens, primarily because people get so uncomfortable like they have made a major faux paus. It's not a big deal. She can look like a boy at times.
If we had a son I would be letting his hair grow and grow and grow. We aren't big on haircuts in this family. I'm sure I'd get questions about it all the time but it's just hair, there is way to much emphasis on this kind of thing and I have better things to do than worry about what gender strangers might refer to my kid(s) as.
Seems like most of you have younger kids - the older boys around here are growing their hair longer .. think 70's cuts - some bowl cuts, lots of longer shaggy stuff, etc. My ds is growing his hair out now for the first time in years - many of them are going for that 80's surfer look that NaturallyMommy's little boy is wearing so well!
As a baby/toddler he would get confused for a girl if I did the slightest thing, like put him in saltwater sandals. I thought it was funny/cute and really didn't care. He's got huge beautiful eyes and long eye lashes and yes, he's pretty. :)
Candace, Married to dh , Mom to ds (8) , Gavin (9/30/10 - 12/19/10) and cautiously expecting our 4-29-12
When rude people ask me what "his father" thinks, I typically show them a picture of DH.
That is great!!
My middle son is almost 8 yo and has been growing his hair out for a year now (he wants to look like a rock star). He used to have a mohawk, but now wants it long. I admit I am worried about how he will feel if people start to mistake him for a girl. He has always been very pretty. My OB actually said, within moments of his birth, "wow, he is all boy, but he sure is pretty!" He has "delicate" features and long long lashes. It turns out his hair has a bit of curl to it now that's it's longer. He loves his hair long. His piano teacher is a man with hair down to the middle of his back, and that is kind of his goal (piano teacher is quite flattered). My dh has a hard time with it, he is very traditional (he hated the mohawk too. he thinks all boys should have military crew cuts). The lady who cuts my boys hair is a friend of mine and knows my boys were all bald til 2 and based on family history will be bald again by the time they are 20. So she says, "You tell your dh that these boys have a very small window to play with and to leave them alone". To his credit, dh is keeping his opinions to himself as he realizes that allowing them some independence is crucial. I am working on my own conservative/gender issues as well so that I can allow my boys to just be who they are.
As far as your mother-in-law goes, I would reply to her comment on facebook with something like "well we can't all be conformist". but that's just me and might not be worth any fall out.
My 6yo has now had a number of trims (and is due for another), though only one somewhere other than at home, and the first one wasn't until he was 3? 4? The 3yo had his first trim of any sort this past December, when I cleaned up some of the less healthy, thin ends of his curls. Oh, and then he cut off the curl on his forehead. Some people then suggested that it was time for a haircut to even it up... Umm.. NO! I was heartbroken and crying over ONE curl - I can't lose them all! His curls are really tight, finger curls (especially with humidity!) so his hair is much longer than it looks.
The 6yo gets called a girl from both kids and adults with some frequency. I think it bothers him some (he's super shy and also super black-and-white in his view of things) but he doesn't want his hair short. I need to trim it, and he's agreed that I can do it at home, but he wants just the tiniest bit cut off - like a millimeter, he sometimes says.
Here are all the kiddos at Easter:
This was before J cut off his curl (which now is bangs), but it was pretty long so it was swept to the side.
HeatherB ~ mama to 3 wonderful boys: 03/02; 09/04; 09/07 - and Eliana, 11/13/10!
Founder of Houston Birth Alternatives: Be Informed, Encouraged, Supported birth support group and aspiring midwife.
She did WHAT??? That's is highly unacceptable....what happened???
Lisa, Mama to two 2-26-09 and 6-15-11
"Hey baby, do you like trains?"
We never cut our son’s hair until recently. It is super fine, thick, and very ringlet-y. Gorgeous! But very hard to care for and I was the only one who could manage to wash it and comb it out. Everyone wanted to keep it long, but no one wanted to take care of, including DS.
DS decided it was time to cut if and we decided together to do right before he started 1st grade. So he would not confuse people with a huge change in appearance part way through the year.
What I found very interesting is that DS did not identify himself as having or liking long hair that much. When I showed him photos of boys with long, medium and short hairstyles he only liked the super short ones. Very clean cut, not very spikey or messy. He is very happy with his short hair that is all I care about.
Sure everyone else (wow that hair had a fan base) mourns the loss of the Locks LOL
But to comment on the gender thing…. 99% of people would think he was a girl. No matter what he wore, acted or his name. We just corrected if we cared to and let it slide with strangers. We live in a liberal town so no one was weird or mean about it.
My youngest (4) has longish hair - not really long because it is curly and he doesn't like me brushing through knots so I keep it above his shoulders. Had a funny thing though at a play area where somebody several years older pushed him down and he was crying and the grandpa (I think) scolded the older boy about pushing a girl...like it would have been fine to knock him down if they had known he was a boy. The funny part was that ds through his tears kept telling the man - I an not a girl...
My ds (10) decided to grow his hair long after grandma hassled him about getting it cut last summer. It is very curly, but when wet goes beyond his shoulders. He had the longest hair of the 4th grade boys, and he liked it. Tells me he wants to keep growing it. He also is very sensitive to getting it brushed, which is hard because it is so curly. In the past, we have had both his and his sister's hair cut short to help with the snaggles, but both want it longer now.
When ds was a baby, toddler, and child even with short hair in boys cloths, people would call him "her". He is very pretty. I have had people ask me, if I was sure he was a boy. I had an older lady correct me with "her/she" when I have told them he was a boy. We do not make a big deal about gender, but anatomically, he is a boy. He also fits many gender stereotypes; just not the pretty face and hair, so I am surprised when people confuse him.
My son had long hair until about a month ago. He loved his hair but the heat was too much for him this year and he asked to cut it. I was a bit reluctant knowing how much he loved it, but he's already talking of growing it out again!
However, I know exactly what you mean. EVERYONE would comment on it and think I was the one keeping it long. Uh, my son has a mind of his own. So obnoxious. I guess not everyone let's their kids think for themselves!
Jessica married to the love of my life
Momma to: Levi (09/06), Junior (09/05) , Teagann (11/10) and two furbabies Nugget and Boo TTC our next bundle of love
I love long hair on little boys. Petey takes after Daddy and has curly hair. His hair is just above his shoulder, but considerably longer when wet. His hair is pretty unruly too. He has a little side-fringe, it's so cute! I know i'm biased, being his mom and all, but he's so handsome! He loves his hair too.
I'm amazed by the amount of people who call him a girl! We don't like stereotypes. Our son wears pinks and purples, and paints his nails. I've had many people say "Oh she's beautiful". And say "Oh Petey, does it stand for Petuna maybe?"... I too have noticed that people tend to help him more in the park etc. when they think he's a girl. But when he's wearing more boyish clothing other parents will say he's a brave boy, try again and all that. And in the toys r us last week buying typical boys toys the girl at the til said to Petey "Are these for your brother sweetie". He said no, him of course. And I don't think she even realized he was a boy and not a girl. I didn't point it out either. We just brush off the girl comments.
Alyssa, married to the love of my life Bear (step-daughter) A, Our little man P , (step-son) Little Land May 2013- TWINS
My son is 6, and has gorgeous blond hair to the middle of his back. LOTS of people think he is a girl. Once, at a city wide garage sale, he was dressed in a camouflage suit, a paintball helmet and mask, and was carrying a large Incredible Hulk, two swords and a plastic machine gun. He was running across the common, waving his weaponry and screaming RAAAAA. And I swear to God, a man laughed and said, "She's quite a little tomboy!"
Mostly adults are sweetly clueless about long haired boys (my favorite are elderly ladies who exclaim over how beautiful my "daughter" is). They're harmless. But on the playground, other kids can be hurtful even when they don't mean to. DS gets asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" daily. We finally hit on a response that doesn't hurt feelings and still gets the :light" to come on in other people's heads.
When the kids say, "Are you a boy or a girl?" DS says, "I'm a boy. Are YOU a boy or a girl?"
People do assume DS is a girl, he didn't used to mind (or possibly he didn't used to notice) but it's becoming a problem at the moment. How do you all explain it to your boys?
It doesn't help that DS is being assessed for special needs and will not correct people or tell them he is upset.
At school I've asked for a note to be made in the register, after a letter home last year from a supply teacher about how A hurt HERSELF at playtime. Both years the toilets have been a problem as other little boys have said he's using the wrong ones. Arghhh
On the other hand I've taken DD out in one of her few pink frilly dresses, with hairclips etc and been asked how old HE is:lol
I just love the hair..really cool.
I only wish that I was allowed to have hair like that when I was his age. Unfortunately that was not the case as my parents were very old fashioned and as such I was forced to keep my hair short.
I would have loved to have hair like that at his age. your son is a credit to your attitude and I only wish that my parents were like you. full marks all round here.
does you son still sport his long hair now?