Leaving a child home alone for a (short) while? WWYD? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 02:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
changes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 37
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

From what age are you and your child comfortable for him/her to be home alone for a (short) while, and how long and under which circumstances, and how often? What, in tis regard, do you 'deem' appropriate in general, and then again, do you see it differently when specifically about you, your child and your home and situation or a particular occasion?

 

 

changes is offline  
#2 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 02:34 PM
 
treeoflife3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: tennessee/kentucky
Posts: 1,513
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It really depends on the kid.  In third grade, I was home alone two days a week for a couple hours after school.  However, I fully understood not to try to use the stove or matches or anything unsafe, to not tell anyone on the phone mom wasn't home (although we had caller id so I actually just ignored numbers I didn't know) and to not answer the door.  I'd just get myself a snack from the fridge and turn on the tv or do my homework if I had any.

By the time I was 11, I was babysitting my 6 year old brother full time.

 

However, my brother couldn't have been left for a couple hours alone at 8.  He DEFINITELY couldn't have babysat full time at 11.  He wouldn't have been able to handle it.

 

My mom was also a single mom so its a good thing I was able to handle things like that.  She couldn't afford to put me in after school full time and it was much easier on the finances to have me babysit in the summer rather than sending us to daycare all day every day.

treeoflife3 is offline  
#3 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 05:36 PM
 
chaimom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have twin boys who are about to turn 9.  I regularly leave one of them alone for about an hour while I'm running the other kids around to lessons.  He just stays home and works on home work, then watches TV or does something in his room.  I think it really depends on the kids.  My boys are very mature (most of the time), and we live in a safe neighborhood where he knows many people he could turn to if he needed help. 

 

chaimom is offline  
#4 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 05:40 PM
 
philomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
In my old state of Georgia 8 to ten year olds could be left alone for "short" periods of time. But to be in charge of other children they must be older than 12.

I live in Oregon now and I don't know what the law says here. My 15 and 17 years olds are safe to leave for several hours if hubby and I want to go on a long day hike.
philomom is offline  
#5 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 06:07 PM
 
treeoflife3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: tennessee/kentucky
Posts: 1,513
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

haha by 17, I was home alone for full weekends so I could work while my family was at the land hunting.

treeoflife3 is offline  
#6 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 06:12 PM
 
insidevoice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,329
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My nine year old is fine on her own for a couple hours.  She does have easy access to help with family nearby if she needs it, and has the phone to call if she needs anything, but she really does fine.  She isn't allowed to use the stove on her own but she can use the microwave if she wants a quick snack or a cup of cocoa. 

insidevoice is offline  
#7 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 06:20 PM
 
Tamsin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 21
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Ive left my 9 year old for short periods. She has a very responsible personality though.

 

eta: she also has access to lots of neighbours, and an aunty all within a few houses.

Tamsin is offline  
#8 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 07:02 PM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 25,331
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

My 8 year has stayed home a couple times while the rest of the family takes a walk. She knows how to call if there is an issue. I'm not ready to be away from the neighborhood yet while she is alone, town is 15 minutes away, but I can see that day will be coming. She is very much a rule follower so I'm not concerned about her. 

 

 


There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#9 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 07:45 PM
 
frugalmum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 501
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Around age 12 I am ok leaving them alone and having them babysit younger sibling alone for up to 2 hours maximum, with frequent phone calls home.  If there are no younger children in the house, maybe a very mature 9 and up -- it depends on maturity and saviness about personal safety.  Some kids "get it" and others just don't.

frugalmum is offline  
#10 of 85 Old 04-27-2011, 09:05 PM
 
LynnS6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Pacific NW longing for the Midwest
Posts: 12,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Ds is 9, turning 10 this week, and we just started leaving him alone in the last 3-4 months. He doesn't like to be alone in the house, so it's not very frequent. He's becoming more comfortable with it. The first time we left him, we were gone for about 45 minutes (he was getting over being sick, his sister had something she wanted to do, and dad had a meeting). Most times it's about 15-20 minutes tops.

 

Before I let him stay home alone, I confirmed that he knew how to reach us on the cell phone. I made sure he knew the rules about answering the door (don't do it) and answering the phone (let the answering machine get it). He was under strict instructions not to use the stove or anything else possibly dangerous and to call us if he needed us. He spent the entire time playing Wii and didn't even notice!

 

I'd be comfortable leaving him home alone for about an hour. After that I think he would be uncomfortable. He's a very cautious and responsible kid. (I remember that my mom went back to school when I was 10, and I came home to an empty house and started dinner. So, 10 can be mature enough.)


Lynnteapot2.GIF, academicreading.gif,geek.gif wife, WOHM  to T jog.gif(4/01) and M whistling.gif (5/04)
LynnS6 is offline  
#11 of 85 Old 04-28-2011, 06:21 AM
 
Alyantavid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I've left my now 9 year old home alone for 1/2 an hour a few times.  However, part of the reason I felt comfortable with this was that we had a really awesome next door neighbor who always kept an eye on the house and a 120 lb dog who was very sweet but very very protective of ds.  Both my dog and my neighbor have passed away.  While I'm sure he'd still be completely fine, I just haven't left him since.

 

He does know my cell phone number and a handful of others who live close and he knows all the safety things I worry about (letting someone in, using the stove, etc). 

Alyantavid is offline  
#12 of 85 Old 04-28-2011, 11:46 AM
MJB
 
MJB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: United States
Posts: 1,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I've left my 8 and 5 yr. old sons alone for less than an hour 3 or 4 times now. They know to call us if they need anything, we know and trust our neighbors, they keep the door locked and don't open it for anyone (we tested), don't use the stove or knives, etc. The past couple times (the first times over 15-20 minutes) we let them play Wii while we were gone and we were <2 miles away. They loved it-- we usually limit their screen time to half an hour per day.

My sister and I were home alone after school every day starting when we were 7 and 5, and I remember us being very responsible. My favorite memory is when there was a tornado watch and I took her down to the basement with snacks, board games, blankets, flashlights, and a radio. If I could manage that at 7, I'm confident that my boys (especially my oldest) are capable of playing Wii for an hour.

MJB is offline  
#13 of 85 Old 04-28-2011, 02:02 PM
 
velochic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Dreaming of the Bavarian Alps
Posts: 8,413
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Off topic, but sometimes it takes me aback that there are mothers here who grew up with caller ID.  We didn't even have a touch tone phone growing up (my siblings and I grew up in the 60's and 70's).  Not that it doesn't make sense that women who could be my own daughter is having children... I just, realize how much things have changed since my bell-bottom days when things like this come up.  It's funny.

 

Anyway, my dd was 9 in February and she absolutely does not want to be left alone at all.  She is so, amazingly, responsible and mature, and wins the award every year for her grade for "integrity"... she would probably be fine if I left her alone for 30 minutes.  But she doesn't feel comfortable with it.  Perhaps it's because she IS so responsible that she realizes that there are many situations she's still not old enough to handle.  Having a good head on the shoulders vs. having a good head on the shoulders to know your own shortcomings makes a difference in our book.  I highly respect that in her and she has a lot of common sense.  It will probably be another couple of years until dd is left alone for more than a 10 minute outdoor visit with the next-door neighbors, but I'm willing to go at her pace.

velochic is offline  
#14 of 85 Old 04-28-2011, 04:36 PM
 
Cyllya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I remember being left alone for a couple hours at a pretty young age--don't remember how young. My parents left me and our two dogs home alone for 2 weeks when I was 15.

 

I saw some website that listed things your kid should be able to do before being left alone, like some first aid stuff that I still don't know as an adult. Well, it would be a good idea, I think, to teach them that stuff if you were going to be gone for more than an hour or so. Depending on who your neighbors are, maybe.

Cyllya is offline  
#15 of 85 Old 04-28-2011, 05:40 PM
 
Llyra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: right here
Posts: 9,450
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My kids are still young for this-- my oldest is six, and I will leave her alone in the house while we sit on the porch or chat with a neighbor, but that's as far as I'll go. Honestly, I feel she's safer outside, where there are neighbors she can go to if there's trouble. There are more dangers indoors, and I worry she might need help and forget how to access it. But I plan on using the same guidelines my mother used, unless there is some factor about my kids or our house or whatever that causes me to change my mind.

alone in the house for a very short time, in daylight (like the 20 minutes it takes to run to the grocery store)- nine years old
Alone in the house, for a few hours in daylight-- ten years old
alone in the house at night, for no more than a few hours--- twelve years old
alone in the house and responsible for siblings or other younger children-- thirteen
alone overnight-- 16
alone for more than overnight-- 18

me knit.gif, he bikenew.gif, my three reading.gif, sleepytime.gif, and fairy.gif-- and the one we lost angel2.gif
Llyra is offline  
#16 of 85 Old 04-28-2011, 05:57 PM
 
mamalisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Germantown WI
Posts: 8,429
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We started leaving ds home alone when he was about 9 1/2.  He is not the sort of child who would ever really consider doing something he's not allowed to do, he just doesn't have it in him :)   He has stayed home for as long as 4 hours (for some reason he always gets sick on the day I have my specialist appts. that I can't miss!).  If dd stays home with him they can stay for about 2 hours before they start to fight, so anything longer than an hour or so we get a sitter.   We have super close neighbors and live in the sort of place that makes it almost impossible to know if someone is home so I don't worry much.

mamalisa is offline  
#17 of 85 Old 04-29-2011, 02:13 AM
 
pigpokey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Decatur, GA
Posts: 3,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Georgia doesn't have any laws about it. 

pigpokey is offline  
#18 of 85 Old 04-29-2011, 09:42 AM
 
mizznicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 535
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I always thought this was a legal thing too.  I know for sure it's a legal thing in Texas with cars.

mizznicole is offline  
#19 of 85 Old 04-29-2011, 10:11 AM
 
4evermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 8,834
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post

Off topic, but sometimes it takes me aback that there are mothers here who grew up with caller ID.  We didn't even have a touch tone phone growing up (my siblings and I grew up in the 60's and 70's).  Not that it doesn't make sense that women who could be my own daughter is having children... I just, realize how much things have changed since my bell-bottom days when things like this come up.  It's funny.

 

Anyway, my dd was 9 in February and she absolutely does not want to be left alone at all.  She is so, amazingly, responsible and mature, and wins the award every year for her grade for "integrity"... she would probably be fine if I left her alone for 30 minutes.  But she doesn't feel comfortable with it.  Perhaps it's because she IS so responsible that she realizes that there are many situations she's still not old enough to handle.  Having a good head on the shoulders vs. having a good head on the shoulders to know your own shortcomings makes a difference in our book.  I highly respect that in her and she has a lot of common sense.  It will probably be another couple of years until dd is left alone for more than a 10 minute outdoor visit with the next-door neighbors, but I'm willing to go at her pace.


And if your finger slipped out before you got all the way around the rotary dial, you'd have accidentally dialed the wrong number... lol.gif

 

My 9 yo ds is the same way, not comfortable or interested in being left alone.  I'll mail a letter a block away leaving him at home for about 5 minutes.  For a few years now, I've been leaving him in the car for 5-10 minutes if I can park up against the building so he doesn't have to cross the lot.  I think he'd rather be left in the car.  He feels like people are more available in an emergency.  He can just go in the store and there will be someone.  The house is more isolated and few neighbors are home during the day.  

 


Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
4evermom is offline  
#20 of 85 Old 04-29-2011, 03:20 PM
 
Polliwog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,084
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)

We not only had dial telephones (and I can still remember the sound,) but my grandparents phone numbers both started with letters. They were either TU7-XXXX or TU8-XXXX.


 

Polliwog is offline  
#21 of 85 Old 04-29-2011, 04:22 PM
 
4evermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 8,834
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Polliwog View Post

We not only had dial telephones (and I can still remember the sound,) but my grandparents phone numbers both started with letters. They were either TU7-XXXX or TU8-XXXX.


 


Yes, the first two letters were the name of the area telephone exchange.  Mine was MA6-XXXX or MAdison 6-XXXX.  Just think of the evolution of texting (or lack thereof) without those letters on the phone that were only there to represent the name of the exchange!

 


Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
4evermom is offline  
#22 of 85 Old 04-29-2011, 04:36 PM
 
zebra15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 4,705
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)

My son is 10 and is ok being home alone for 2-3 hours at a time.  He knows how to use the phone and call me if he needs something.  Ive worked up to this over the past couple years and am fully working up to dropping the sitter when I hopefully go back to work full time.  DS will be 11 at the end of summer, is homeschooled and is completely responsible, able to manage himself, get his schoolwork done, make his meals in the microwave, do laundry, etc.

 

Again this is totally dependent on the child and I know many many 10 yr old who I wouldn't leave alone for 2 mins let alone 2 hours.

 

We live in the city/suburb and I do need to work with DS on his public transportation skills.  My goal is by the time he is 12 he is able to get around via the bus if he needs to.


Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

zebra15 is offline  
#23 of 85 Old 04-30-2011, 05:01 AM
 
BubbleMa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 1,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 4evermom View Post




Yes, the first two letters were the name of the area telephone exchange.  Mine was MA6-XXXX or MAdison 6-XXXX.  Just think of the evolution of texting (or lack thereof) without those letters on the phone that were only there to represent the name of the exchange!

 


I always wondered why there were letters.  :)

 

My DD stays home by herself every now and then.  She was 8 when we started (she just turned 9).  It's never more than a few hours.  Usually when SO has to work nights (or is out of town) and I have to work later and can't make it to the school before after school care ends.  She's very responsible and mature, and likes staying home alone. 


Sarah, partner to J and mom to DD1 April 30th, 2002 and DD2 May 5th, 2012. love.gif

BubbleMa is offline  
#24 of 85 Old 04-30-2011, 08:26 PM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)

at 5 for about 20 minutes as i went across the street to water the community garden or to the grocery store or drop books at the library. always told my neighbor. dd LOVED it. i'd leave her reading her book and find her in the same position when i got back. 

 

the first time when i seriously left her alone (with neighbour next door knowing) was 8 1/2 for 2 hours. she LOVED it. then she begged for more. so we left her for 5 hours. she HATED it. it was too long. we've maybe done it a couple of times. because i have roommates now she is never really alone.

 

i have no idea what is legal in my state. 

 

but yeah. even at 5 i trusted my dd completely. 

 

i've always made it a point since infancy to point out what exactly is HUGEly dangerous so she has never really tried anything she wasnt supposed to do. i mean yeah she has done it - only when we were home. but smaller things. never big things.

 

however she is my super independent child too. she has been cooking since she was 6. in fact we are now in the throes of concept cooking. what goes with what. so not everything cooked might be edible. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#25 of 85 Old 05-01-2011, 06:52 AM
 
pigpokey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Decatur, GA
Posts: 3,110
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


It's not, in 48 states at last check and Texas is not one of them.

 

The car laws are because some people have left babies / toddlers in cars (usually on accident due to brain fog) and they've died when the cars got hot from the sun.  It's reactionary.  Of course you shouldn't leave small children and pets trapped in cars in the sun, and could have been adequately punished under child endangerment laws already on the books.  If you leave a child home alone who is not up for it, you also risk child endangerment charges.  However if you have a great basis for believing that the child can handle latch key / short periods on his or her own then there's no problem.  So if my 8 year old is well behaved and responsible, it would not, I believe, be child endangerment for me to leave her alone watching TV or doing school work while I ran an errand.  On the other hand, if she is 13 years old but has known conduct disorder and a drinking problem, I better not leave her alone.  So you see it's not, and shouldn't be, about age and I truly hope most States continue to keep bright lines off the books.  It also gives busybodies an opportunity to feel good about themselves by reporting perfectly safe children who are being spared considerably more statistically dangerous car trips while the parents run errands or other children to activities.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mizznicole View Post

I always thought this was a legal thing too.  I know for sure it's a legal thing in Texas with cars.



 

pigpokey is offline  
#26 of 85 Old 05-01-2011, 07:01 AM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

 

georgia, md, sc, nc = 8 years old (stated guideline, except MD). however as pp pointed out it depends on how responsible/mature the child is. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#27 of 85 Old 05-01-2011, 07:44 AM
 
SilverFish's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Montreal
Posts: 877
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Llyra View Post

My kids are still young for this-- my oldest is six, and I will leave her alone in the house while we sit on the porch or chat with a neighbor, but that's as far as I'll go. Honestly, I feel she's safer outside, where there are neighbors she can go to if there's trouble. There are more dangers indoors, and I worry she might need help and forget how to access it. But I plan on using the same guidelines my mother used, unless there is some factor about my kids or our house or whatever that causes me to change my mind.

alone in the house for a very short time, in daylight (like the 20 minutes it takes to run to the grocery store)- nine years old
Alone in the house, for a few hours in daylight-- ten years old
alone in the house at night, for no more than a few hours--- twelve years old
alone in the house and responsible for siblings or other younger children-- thirteen
alone overnight-- 16
alone for more than overnight-- 18


i guess to me that seems extreme! i moved out when i was 18 and was living on my own (well, i had roommates), and had briefly lived alone at 16. but, i guess it really depends on what each child is capable of.

 

for myself, i remember my mom leaving me and my younger sister home when i was about 6 or so. i think, depending on where we live, i would be comfortable with that for short periods. especially with cellphones, communication in the case of something happening at home or a delay on your end is pretty easy and makes the whole experience safer.

SilverFish is offline  
#28 of 85 Old 05-01-2011, 07:44 AM
 
Peony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 25,331
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by pigpokey View Post


It's not, in 48 states at last check and Texas is not one of them.

 

The car laws are because some people have left babies / toddlers in cars (usually on accident due to brain fog) and they've died when the cars got hot from the sun.  It's reactionary.  Of course you shouldn't leave small children and pets trapped in cars in the sun, and could have been adequately punished under child endangerment laws already on the books.  If you leave a child home alone who is not up for it, you also risk child endangerment charges.  However if you have a great basis for believing that the child can handle latch key / short periods on his or her own then there's no problem.  So if my 8 year old is well behaved and responsible, it would not, I believe, be child endangerment for me to leave her alone watching TV or doing school work while I ran an errand.  On the other hand, if she is 13 years old but has known conduct disorder and a drinking problem, I better not leave her alone.  So you see it's not, and shouldn't be, about age and I truly hope most States continue to keep bright lines off the books.  It also gives busybodies an opportunity to feel good about themselves by reporting perfectly safe children who are being spared considerably more statistically dangerous car trips while the parents run errands or other children to activities.
 



 


Agreed. I just looked at the latchkids link and was surprised to find that my state has a age 12 law to be left alone. I won't bore anyone with the details but I was always an independent child despite coming from a "good" home where I didn't have to be and was fully caring for myself by the time I was 15, including not living with my parents, working, and doing my own schooling . That was of my own choosing. And now, I'm not supposed to leave my children home alone at all until they are 12? I can see that for some children, and my 8y is the only one that is old enough yet for me to really get a good sense of her judgement. She may have her share of issues in some areas but being responsible is not one of them. She is very careful about safety and is quite the rule follower. 4 more years until I can legally leave her alone when I do have multiple other children and many, many car trips a day back and forth to various places seems well, crappy, for a lack of a better term. 


There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
Peony is offline  
#29 of 85 Old 05-01-2011, 08:35 AM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,351
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 97 Post(s)

IMO- 

when you think that MANY 17 year olds are in college and living alone and the military at 18 just starting to leave a 16 year old alone is extreme to me and I have raised a child into adulthood and starting leaving her alone by age 6-she went to sleep-over camp (in another state-without knowing anyone) at age 12 and sadly she had to "baby-sit" a 15 year old when she was in college

 

parents that encourage (for safety sake) children to be sheltered as above mentioned really are doing a long term disservice down the road in adulthood 

 


 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
#30 of 85 Old 05-01-2011, 12:21 PM
 
kythe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 608
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Be careful about relying too much on the "letter of the law" when it comes to appropriate age to leave a child home alone.  This is very subjective and very much an interpretation of individual situations, when it comes to dealing with police or CPS.  In my state, you are not allowed to leave a child 15 or under in a car alone, even for a few minutes.  If they are not old enough to drive, they may never be left in a car alone.  I used to think this only applied to babies and toddlers, until a mishap a couple of years ago that I don't talk about online, but lets just say local police take this law very seriously. 

 

Personally, I take laws about child endangerment and leaving kids alone very seriously.  I was left alone at a young age and I always did fine, I don't personally see it as a big deal.  I have never reported anyone for leaving a child home alone, including my neighbor who had her 7 year old come home from school alone and let himself into their apartment for a half hour each day after school until his mom got home from work.  He wasn't allowed to answer the door or go outside when his mom wasn't home (and he didn't), and all he did was watch TV, so I never said anything.  But all it takes is crossing the wrong person, or a nosy busybody who likes to get involved, and you may have a hard time explaining to authorities why you didn't believe "proper" supervision was appropriate.

kythe is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off