Does/ did your dd recieve boy hand me downs? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 22 Old 05-12-2011, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
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We are far from high income and although we just had a flood of new things come into our lives from Christmas and 2 birthdays right in a row, we are getting back to our typical watch what we spend routine. My dd has received jammies and tshirts as hand me downs from ds before and I never thought twice. So now dd is ready to start potty training and I found a box of ds excellent condition undies. Can't really afford to use pull ups or invest in a bunch of girl trainers or undies.... and really don't have a problem putting ds' old undies on my dd. They look very very cute on her.


Any thoughts?

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#2 of 22 Old 05-12-2011, 02:02 PM
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Yep -- unfortunately, most of ds' stuff didn't fit dd because they had different growth patterns. Ds was always really tall for his age, dd just slightly about average. She's also chunkier. So, when ds was 2, he was wearing a 3T for length and dd was solidly in a 2T at the same age. By the time dd hit 3T, the weather had changed and ds' winter stuff (which had been 4T) was too big.


We had the same story with underwear, complicated by the fact that ds is a beanpole. Because of that, not much of the old undies fit or were available (ds can STILL wear some size 4/6 and he's age 10), but dd did wear a few of his. Who cares?

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#3 of 22 Old 05-12-2011, 05:34 PM
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both of our daughters wear second-hand boys' clothes!

1. "boys' colors" are better for getting muddy/dirty outside

2. dino and truck designs are way more interesting than flowers and princesses..


go for it!




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#4 of 22 Old 05-12-2011, 05:43 PM
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At age 5 my daughter would probably be reluctant to wear a lot of boy things (but ok with some). But from birth to maybe age 3, I definitely dressed her in boy's handmedowns. We didn't have tons but we sure did have some. I figure, if she'll wear 'em, there's no problem!

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#5 of 22 Old 05-13-2011, 03:56 AM
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Oh, it just might come back to bite you!


DD used to wear DS's hand-me-downs. She really enjoyed it as well, remembering they were his and now they are hers.


Until she hit age 4. Now she won't be caught in anything except dress or skirt and tights. And they have to be pink or red or purple. Preferably floral. Even skirts that are blue and green pattern are out. It's extreme. So she has a ton of pants and jeans in her drawer that she just won't touch, and she wears the same 5 dress outfits every day. I think she has strongly identified with being a girl, and that she gets to wear these clothes, maybe specifically because boys do not get to. I think it is very black and white in her mind. I totally let it go - this is not a battle I care about, and I am assuming it is a phase. I mean I wear a dresss about 5 times a year, and never went through a girly stage, and in fact went through quite a few "boys only clothes" stages myself. So I let her be.


My long drawn out point is, yes, let your DD use your DS hand-me-downs. At least as long as it lasts!

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#6 of 22 Old 05-13-2011, 04:38 AM
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I say go for it as long as the kids will let you. DS has worn flowery vests and undies on many occasions. Tights are great under trousers in winter. Especially when they are in the sling and trousers tend to ride up.


That said we did let him chose some undies for potty training, he was mad on crocodiles and the crocodile undies were quite a motivating factor in getting him to wear them at all. But the spares in my bag/back of the car were girly ones.


On the other hand I was inn the shop with DD buying mouthwash. She usually has berry flavour which is pink. They were out of stcok so I asked if mint would be OK. She looked at it for a while and said "well it's blue, it's a bit of a boys mouthwash!"


I think my time may be up.

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#7 of 22 Old 05-13-2011, 11:53 AM
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I'm with the "go for it!" group. My DD (who will be 5 in August) is smitten with boy's clothes. Works for us, since we got a bunch of hand-me-downs from a friend who has a boy, and our DS will be able to wear all the stuff when she's done. But, as PP have mentioned, it really depends on you child. Some girls won't touch boy's clothes with a ten foot pole. If your child will willingly go for it, then by all means!



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#8 of 22 Old 05-16-2011, 09:45 AM
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When my DD started PT I had her in DS' outgrown spiderman undies.   She looked so freaking cute!!!  lol  

Did I keep them for her everyday use?  No...I actually passed them along to my BFF who's DS was PT.  I didn't want to spend the $$ on undies b/c you know when they are PT it's 3-4 or more a  and that's alot of cash to fork over.   After a few weeks I took her to buy her own undies.  


I did keep some other plain items for DD's.   Seasonal PJ's (Santa, skeleton....) long johns and some socks.  

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#9 of 22 Old 05-16-2011, 09:49 AM
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My DD loves wearing her brother's old clothes!  When I tell her that they were his, she gets really excited.  I do like dressing her in girly things, but have kept things like jammies, socks, overalls, and jeans from DS.  She has plenty of her own clothes too, but many of those were hand-me-downs from friends' older girls, and everything DD grows out of, I hand down to a friend who is expecting a girl.  :)

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#10 of 22 Old 05-16-2011, 02:14 PM
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I wouldn't care. Really no difference between the two types of underwear. The only reason I would hesitate is if she finds it "weird" or problematic or if you think she would be subjected to ridicule by other children or god forbid, adults.

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#11 of 22 Old 05-16-2011, 06:44 PM
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My DD idolized her big brother so wearing is old superman undies were a big hit. I have found that the boys briefs fit nicer than girls undies and will prob. be easier to get on and off for little hands. If anyone bugs you about it you could offer that up. If you want to be more girly pair boys pants with a pink shirt or whatever. I have found that boys pants are more comfy and they girls stuff is narrower. I have two boys and a girl and things get passed around. Currently my youngest is in love with his sister's old Dora crocs and Minnie mouse t shirt.

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#12 of 22 Old 05-16-2011, 07:04 PM
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Well, dd never wore any of ds1's old undies, but that's only because 1) she potty trained way, way earlier than he did and therefore needed smaller sizes and 2)the boy refused to wear underwear (still won't at 10!) so we passed his on to other friends long before she was big enough for them. DS2 has been known to wear dd's old panties, though. He likes pink, and "they" don't make boy undies in pink for some reason.

DD did wear a lot of DS1's old clothes, though. Some of them have lived to make it through to ds2. DS2 also regularly wears old t-shirts of DD's. He's too small to wear any of her old pants that we still have, but he fits girl cut pants better than boy cut pants, so friends have passed down their dds' pants to him. Most of the pants he wears on a regular basis are "girl" pants (whatever that means lol.gif).
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#13 of 22 Old 05-16-2011, 07:06 PM
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My dd wears some of her big brother's hand-me-downs. My own personal issue is than I hate mixing girl/boy clothes, I think it looks weird to have a really boyish top and really girly pants or whatever. So mostly I just keep ds's neutral items for dd's wardrobe. I think boy clothes are cute.  The undies are cute too, and I think they're easier to pull up and down than girl undies.  I would go for it!

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#14 of 22 Old 05-17-2011, 09:37 AM
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I grew up wearing my brothers' hand me downs. I preferred them to girl clothes most of the time (except around 2nd grade when I wanted nothing to do with jeans and would only wear stretch pants, sweat pants or dresses... jeans bothered my legs)

My DD wears some of her brothers' hand me downs, too. Sometimes, she doesn't even wait for him to grow out of them first.

I see no problem with it as long as she's still allowed to have some of her own clothes in addition to his. I would have hated to not at least have SOME clothes that were brand new for me. (and it doesnt even need to be store-bought brand new, just something that my brothers didnt have before me... so goodwill clothes were just fine)




And as for wearing his undies? who's really going to see to care? And if they do, who's really going to care? "oh she cant wear those, they arent pink and frilly!" yeah... dont see that happening lol. GO FOR IT!

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#15 of 22 Old 05-17-2011, 09:55 AM
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dd also prefered boys undies. we actually bought boys undies from when she was 2 to 4 - maybe 5.


she went for the characters. and then discovered they actually feel more comfortable than girls undies. 


yeah i've had to answer questions at her daycare why she wears boys undies - from other kids. 


dd didnt care and neither did i. at that age too she prefered boys shirts coz crocodiles were her favourite animals so she didnt have that many cute clothes. when we'd go to buy clothes she'd choose and she always chose stuff from the boys section. 


then she went thru the girls phase. 

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#16 of 22 Old 05-17-2011, 01:30 PM
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DD saw DS's underpants when I was folding laundry, and she freaked out and tried to put them on, so I had to help her put DS's Lightning McQueen undies on over her leggings, LOL.  

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#17 of 22 Old 05-18-2011, 10:40 PM
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If you need them, why not?  Lots of girls where boy hand me downs.  There is nothing wrong with it.  There are many gender neutral clothing for both boys and girls.  Heck, my ds got plenty of hand me downs from his cousins, and they are girls.  There was plenty of things in the boxes we got from my sisters house that were usefull.  They had lots of boyish shirts, sweats, hoodies, and many others.  Ofcourse he did not activley wear the dresses, skirts and outwardly feminine items that were in there but they did inspire some very funny dress up games, since he gets confused for a girl all the time and all because of his surfer long hair, he looked very nice and I have plenty of pictures to prove it, maybe I will upload some and they will take up an album by themselves, lol, but thats a different story.  Back to the issue, I have seen lots of girls wearing boys t-shirts, shorts, pretty much everything.  I do not see why it would be a problem.

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#18 of 22 Old 05-18-2011, 11:55 PM
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Clothes do not have gender, and we dress our son in whatever looks cute, regardless of who it was made for. We will be teaching him that clothes, colors, patterns, themes do not have gender. Dinosaurs can be for boys and girls, as can flowers. He is a boy that looks good in pink and I am fine with that.

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#19 of 22 Old 05-19-2011, 10:29 AM
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DD wears some of DS's undies around the house. She has her own but likes to play in his sometimes. But, for potty training, nothing beats the cheapie Gerber training underwear. DD still wears her old ones. They are soft and comfy and catch more urine than regular kids undies.

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#20 of 22 Old 05-23-2011, 06:46 AM
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Growing up my brother and I wore boys hand me downs from the sons of a family friend. I wore boys jeans, cords and tees right up to about age 11, also boys swim trunks when we were on holiday. I don't see what the problem is.

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#21 of 22 Old 05-23-2011, 01:19 PM
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That sounds ok to me! dd sometimes sleeps in big t shirts that belong to her brother. Or sometimes his jammy bottoms which are pretty funny looking (and very cute) on her. I don't take her out like that, but for around the house, as long as its an article of clothing that covers what it's meant to cover go for it!


Oh and undies....if they fit, why not? I would have no problem taking dd out and about in ds old training undies. They are so much more convenient than the regular undies for accidents.

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#22 of 22 Old 05-29-2011, 02:07 AM
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DS10 prefers 'girls' jammie pants.  He still likes pink t-shirts, fun colored socks that seem to only be available in the womens section.  Really I think people are just too stuck on where the clothes are sold in the store.


It really doesn't matter who wears what.  If the kid is happy and warm/cool- (dressed for the season)  People just need to get over it.

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