Night weaning twins - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 05-22-2011, 06:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Judy,
I am a stay at home, solo Mum to 23 month old b/g twins. I cosleep with them and they both BF frequently, at least 3 times each during the night but usually it's more like 4 or 5 times each. The feeds are very brief and I believe are for comfort and a way to get back to sleep rather than nutrition. I offer a bottle of water first. My son will sometimes except the water but my daughter never will.
He BF and then rolls away thanks to the Pantley method but my daughter likes to sleep attached to my boob and wakes if I try to disengage her. She is a light sleeper and always wants to join in on the BFing if she wakes to find her brother is having a feed.
If either of them wakes and I try to pretend I am asleep or try to pat them back to sleep they cry with increasing distress and will not be comforted until I give in and BF them. Which I do as otherwise I end up with 2 screaming toddlers.
How do I night wean 2 toddlers at the same time?
I am at a complete loss as to how to do this particularly as I will be doing it alone. I may be able to pay the babysitter to assist me for one night but that is all.
Also is there an optimum age to night wean, wean, and move them into there own room?
Thank you,
Jay
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#2 of 4 Old 05-24-2011, 10:53 AM
 
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Hi Jay:

 

Night waking for two toddlers must be very hard for you.  You sound like you need some sleep.  Many toddlers tend to night wean at about the time they get their 21/2 year molars, but not always.  You had a great idea of enlisting the help of a babysitter or family (if you have any nearby) to help comfort the toddlers through the night with water or just cuddles and hugs.  The problem may remain, however, when you are back on duty.  As you represent nurturing comfort and food, it may be hard for the toddlers to accept anything else from you.  Keep in mind that toddlers understand words before they can speak, so if you tell them that your breasts have to sleep at night, they might be willing to accept that.  You could also try moving them to another room if that would help. You could also cut down on night weanings by pretending that "num, nums" are asleep. See how those suggestions work.  In short, there is no simple way to wean and be comforting at the same time.  Providing comfort and security is very difficult for you now, but will pay off later in secure, happy and nurtured children.  Try to take naps and sleep as much as you can at other times.  Best wishes.  I'm sending good vibes your way! :-)

Warmly,

Judy Arnall


Judy Arnall
Author of Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery, and the new book, Parenting With Patience: Turn frustration into connection with 3 easy steps. President of Attachment Parenting Canada, and Best of all, Mom of Three Adults and Two Teens!
http://www.attachmentparenting.ca
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#3 of 4 Old 08-16-2012, 06:53 PM
 
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Hi there,

 

This is an old thread and I'm wondering about the same now so I thought I'd reply to see if the original poster had success and how she went about it and if she has ideas .

 

My twins are b/b - 22 months old and nurse a lot.  We tandem nurse and it simply hurts physically and I'm not enjoying the night nursing and both my husband and I need sleep. 

 

Thanks,

Leela

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#4 of 4 Old 08-17-2012, 06:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Leela,
My wonderful babysitter slept over as the idea of nightweaning my little ones was very daunting to me. I explained to my twins that after they went to sleep Mummy'sboobys were going to sleep too so no more night feeds. After I had bf them at bedtime I changed my top to reduce booby access. I was amazed at how well it went. I only needed the babysitters help once when they both woke at the same time.
If I had known how smoothly the transition would be I would have done it a month or so sooner. They actually slept much better (waking less) once I night weaned.

About a month after nightweaning I bought them their own beds. I set the beds up so they were pushed together so I could still cuddle up with both my lttle ones and read a story then bf to sleep. It also makes it easier to attend to both of them if they wake up at the same time. Once they are asleep I put a rolled up blanket between them so they don't roll into each other the both have king single beds so there is enough room for me too cosleep when needed.
If they come into my room at night I pick them up give them a hug and go and lay down with them in their bed until they are asleep (or we all are). Because of this they always sleep in their own beds and wouldn't even consider sleeping in my bed.
When they were about 2 years five months we said goodbye to our last bf (bedtime). Once again my babysitter came over ( just for 2 hours). Once again I expected the worst and was astounded by how smoothly it went. After reading a story, I explained that Mum wasn't making any milk anymore and Mummy's boobys were empty. I laid down between them and cuddled them to sleep.
They are now 3! and I still sit between them until they are asleep.
The days seem long but the weeks fly by!!!
Hope that helps. Here if you have any questions or just want to chat to someone who knows what it's like to have twins.
Thinking of you
Hugs
Jay
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