my son does not like to be with me - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 7 Old 05-26-2011, 06:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
poochie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My son is 18 months old and does not want to be with his mommy.

He much more prefers to be with his dad or grandfather.

I feel like he rejects me. I come from work and he completely ignores me.

Although my husband works too, he gravitates towards him much more.

He comes to me when there is noboby else to go to.

is this normal?

I feel sad and I am starting to wonder if I am a good mom or not.

 

poochie is offline  
#2 of 7 Old 05-28-2011, 12:40 PM
 
kittn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In a perpetual letdown
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Im not the expert. but I will say at least 2 of my four boys went through this. it was one or the other parent for a long time. 


Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
kittn is offline  
#3 of 7 Old 05-29-2011, 05:08 AM
 
Jill Rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 7
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Sounds like he feels rejected because you are at work, and maybe he is hurt inside from it. Maybe he is taking it out on you? I am not am expert either. That is just my guess.

Jill

Jill Rae is offline  
#4 of 7 Old 05-30-2011, 07:40 AM
 
kittn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In a perpetual letdown
Posts: 1,377
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I have heard that theory before Jill. That may be true in some cases. But Usually those cases are children who are not securely attached to mom and have a fear of her leaving forever.

 

my sons all did it and I was home with them. I think for boys its just what they do and how they learn maybe


Annemarie ~catholic mom of 8 -4 boys (19-16-10-7).Emma)2 girls (3 and 1)Someone new due in April too!An yes I Blog @ You Leave me breadless blog
kittn is offline  
#5 of 7 Old 06-08-2011, 10:14 AM
 
Judy Arnall's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 53
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Preferential treatment in favour of one parent is SO common in the early years - especially if the parent is the one that spends the most time with the child.  This is natural, healthy and doesn't mean that your son doesn't love you.  He loves you!  Your job is to not take it personally as it is just a stage.  I've just attended an educational session, on what Dads add to parenting and they add the fun and risktaking and Moms add the nurturing and caution.  Children need both.  If your son is comfortable coming to you when Dad is not around, he has a healthy attachment to you and will be more openly affectionate as he gets older.  Keep loving him and remember that it's not about "you".  (Believe me, this is great practice for the teen years!)

Warmly,

Judy Arnall

Author of Discipline Without Distress and

The Last Word on Parenting Advice

www.attachmentparenting.ca

www.professionalparenting.ca

 


Judy Arnall
Author of "Discipline Without Distress", President of Attachment Parenting Canada, and Best of all, Mom of Three Adults and Two Teens!
http://www.attachmentparenting.ca
http://www.professionalparenting.ca
 

Judy Arnall is offline  
#6 of 7 Old 06-08-2011, 11:59 AM
 
mexicali mami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 117
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Just wanted to add that my son prefers his father too.  We are separated for over six months and he continually asks to spend more time with his dad.  I read your post with sympathy and hope that it is a stage he will soon grow out of.  The hardest part is not taking it personally, and continually striving to do your best.

mexicali mami is offline  
#7 of 7 Old 06-20-2011, 07:34 AM
 
QueenOfTheMeadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: with the wildlife
Posts: 18,210
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Just a reminder of the forum guidlines:
Quote:
The expert forums are intended to be in a direct question and answer format between the member posting the question and the expert. These forums are not for community participation so the only exchange of posting in thread will be between the member and the expert.
Feel free to PM the OP if you wish to offer other advice or to invite the OP to the appropriate forum. Thanks for your cooperation.

 
QueenOfTheMeadow is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off