shy at 5--not sure how to handle it! - Mothering Forums

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Old 06-26-2011, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DD is 5.5 and can be pretty shy. Not at home and not with people she knows, but with most everyone else. If a stranger, acquaintance, or neighbor talks to her she will completely ignore them or walk away. I know that she's not trying to be rude and when she was younger she could get away with it, but now that she's 5 I think people are starting to think she's rude or weird. We've talked to her about respecting elders and that her peers are not going to continue to try to be friends with her if she keeps shunning them. Is there anything else we can do? 

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Old 06-26-2011, 07:52 PM
 
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My dd has experienced periods of shyness. I told her it was polite to respond, but, that if she didnt want to speak, she could wave or smile. This seemed to work really well for her.
I also went out of my way to set up playdates and to attend birthday parties, school events, etc. I never forced her to join in, but, tried to give her many social learning opportunities.
She has outgrown a lot of it, and, i'm pleased to say, she seems to gain more self confidence as she ages.
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:57 PM
 
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"Share your smiles".  That's what I say as a reminder.  And I usually try to remind her beforehand if I know we'll be somewhere stressful.  We wave hello too at times.  Look into information on "introverted" people.  You might find it insightful.

 

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Old 06-27-2011, 10:11 AM
 
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Teach her some non-verbal ways to respond. Tell her to 'share your smiles' and to wave. My introverted, slow-to-warm-up child did well with those instructions. He's 10 and will now respond with a word or two.


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Old 06-27-2011, 10:52 AM
 
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I did the same. I told her to just smile or wave if she didn't want to speak.

Mom to: Honey (6/04) and Bunny (9/09)
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Old 06-28-2011, 03:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks everyone! yes, we do tell her to use gestures and smiles and sometimes she is responsive to that. it's great to hear that some of your kiddos grew out of it a little!

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Old 06-28-2011, 07:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by queen b View Post

thanks everyone! yes, we do tell her to use gestures and smiles and sometimes she is responsive to that. it's great to hear that some of your kiddos grew out of it a little!



"A little" is key here. He's still Mr. Monosyllable, but he's pleasant enough that people don't mind.


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Old 06-28-2011, 08:06 PM
 
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There was an interesting article in the NY Times about the shyness and introversion recently.  Thought you might find it interesting.

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Old 06-28-2011, 08:39 PM
 
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Old 06-29-2011, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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great articles---thank you!!

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