Movie question - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 16 Old 07-23-2011, 07:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

Should I be letting my 4.5 yo old watch movie with the word 'stupid' used in them? I have borrowed several G rated movies to discover that most of them have use of either 'stupid' or 'idiot' in them. I don't know why I imagined that those words would be filtered if the rating was G.


Let me make sure that my thoughts, words and actions are beneficial to the scene in which I find myself ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#2 of 16 Old 07-23-2011, 08:22 AM
 
CarrieMF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan
Posts: 8,930
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

That depends on your personal beliefs & why you think it isn't okay.  

 

It wouldn't bother me for them to watch movies with those words in it

CarrieMF is offline  
#3 of 16 Old 07-23-2011, 08:34 AM
 
weliveintheforest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 5,619
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

There is a good website to look up movies and see what other parents though - http://www.commonsensemedia.org/  I read about it here on mdc and I use it pretty often when deciding whether to let the kids watch a movie.  My kids have seen quite a few movies with things like 'stupid' in them and we haven't yet had issues with them calling people stupid, so I think if they are not watching it over and over again it's not a big deal.  Depends on your individual child/family I think.


  BC Mum of three ('05, '07, '11 and #4 coming May '14!)    jumpers.gif  belly.gif 

weliveintheforest is offline  
#4 of 16 Old 07-23-2011, 08:43 AM
 
MoonWillow's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Pemberly
Posts: 3,938
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It bothers me but my kids have definitely heard the word used (and worse). I tried to be very protective about what they've been allowed to see but just living their lives has exposed them to some things (like Sponge Bob) that I wouldn't have otherwise allowed. You know what I do? Use it as a shining example of whats NOT ok to say and/or do.

 

I act very disappointed/shocked when I notice something like that and they always say, "We know its naughty mom. Don't worry".

 

I actually don't get offended by kids using bad language. I swear sometimes. I tell them that they are just words but they shouldn't use them because other people don't like to hear kids swearing. What REALLY burns me up though is words like stupid. Something that is used in a hurtful or insulting way towards others. I'm not ok with adults using that language either though. And I seriously wonder whats wrong with people who make shows like Tuff Puppy and other cartoons that target a young audience and then showcase the absolute worst ways to treat each other. I mean granted I grew up with daffy duck getting shot in the face but is the bar still so low? Who thinks of this garbage?

 

*sigh*

MoonWillow is offline  
#5 of 16 Old 07-23-2011, 01:43 PM
 
RaspberryLeaf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Kingston, Ontario
Posts: 30
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I don't like to encourage viewing of these movies/shows but I also use it as an example of what NOT to say and encourage DS to ask questions. It's also an opportune time to talk about feelings and how he/she would feel if that word was directed to them.

 

Recently DS boldly announced to his friend that she was a "LOSER!!!!!" because he won a race (which oddly enough he never wins!).  I lost it!  I'm certain he will not be saying that again.  


Melissa - Happy mommy to blahblah.gif Mitchell - 9lbs 1oz, 01-14-2007; and babyf.gifDylan - 10lbs 6oz, 07-25-2011

 

Happily married to Jeff since 09-24-2005

 

  bfinfant.gif  hang.gif  cd.gif

RaspberryLeaf is offline  
#6 of 16 Old 07-23-2011, 02:08 PM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)

I watch movies with my dd and make a brief comment if something objectionable comes up.  I wouldn't worry about the name calling, except to comment on it to a young child.  G rated movies have a lot of stuff in them like name calling, sword fighting, and death.  The rating just means that it is done in a way that most kids can watch without a parent needing to be concerned.

 

My dd is 8 and able to handle a lot so I really don't worry about it now.  I think that if your child is old enough to handle the content overall and you are fine with the overall message of the movie then there is no need to worry about a few name calling incidents. 

One_Girl is online now  
#7 of 16 Old 07-26-2011, 11:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by weliveintheforest View Post

There is a good website to look up movies and see what other parents though - http://www.commonsensemedia.org/  I read about it here on mdc and I use it pretty often when deciding whether to let the kids watch a movie.

 

Thanks for the link. I'll have a look at it.

 

Generally, I've noticed dd imitating older kids (cousins), especially slangs like Oh Man. So, yes, it is important to me she doesn't think it's ok for her to include them in her vocabulary. 


Let me make sure that my thoughts, words and actions are beneficial to the scene in which I find myself ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#8 of 16 Old 08-06-2011, 07:45 PM
 
SweetSilver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Westfarthing
Posts: 4,987
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 45 Post(s)

You could swear like a sailor and I wouldn't care, but name calling is strictly forbidden in our house.  I wouldn't restrict a movie with it necessarily, but I would say something.  Of course, I remember my mom doing that and thinking "yeah, whatever mom!" but that's no reason to not say something.  Sometimes talking about it another time besides when the video is playing is more effective.  So far, the movies and videos don't seem to be rubbing off on them that way (yet).  I think because my girls know what a big deal this is for me.  And I never ever ever call my kids or my dh names, even when I am  raging mad.  I hate it that much.

     I do let my kids know some alternatives.  Instead of saying "You're mean" (even that counts as name calling here) I let them know they can say "You are being mean".  I don't know alternatives to calling someone "stupid", it would depend on the situation.  I wouldn't say I punish my kids for name calling, either, apart from the stern mood it puts me in.  But I will call them on it.  Every time.


Give me a few minutes while I caffeinate.
SweetSilver is offline  
#9 of 16 Old 08-07-2011, 09:16 PM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 13 Post(s)

i use those moments to turn them into teachable moments. 

 

if i remember the G movies if they used stupid it directly showed either why one should not use it or the impact of the word stupid. 

 

my dd has a father who would not change his language. somehow she and some of her friends figured out which words were not appropriate to use in public. 

 

with certain words like stupid or others i made it a point to point it out to her that those were hurtful words and never ok. 

 

and she knew that - even at 3 so i never kept those movies away from her. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is online now  
#10 of 16 Old 08-08-2011, 08:35 AM
 
swd12422's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,132
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

We are going through this, too. I try to limit TV and movies b/c DS is only 3 and really has better things to do. Unfortunately, TV is the only way he can sit still and quiet for more than a few minutes, and when my parents have him they need the break since he won't nap for them. He has seen several Disney movies and some Bugs Bunny cartoons and we've read one Dr Seuss book that have expanded his vocabulary in a not-so-good way. (I didn't remember the Lorax using the phrase "shut up" but DS latched right on to that one.)

 

We are trying to explain the difference between when someone says, "I couldn't get the stupid car to start again" and "You're stupid" to DS, but he is now convinced that it's never a nice thing to say and we get in "trouble" for saying it. I find it interesting how easily he can pick out the "bad" words from a random TV show or a few minutes' worth of movie when DH is watching something that seems so innocuous to us.

swd12422 is online now  
#11 of 16 Old 08-10-2011, 01:54 PM
 
JudiAU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where creepy facebook-featured threads can't find me
Posts: 3,593
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I wouldn't, personally, but we don't allow media at all at that age because I think most of the content is poor or pushes licensed stuff. I don't think there is any reason why a kid that age needs that sort of language directed at them and it WILL come out in their speech. Most G is not, actually "general" to me. If you are watching it with them yes, it could be a discussion but odds are, for most families, you won't be.

JudiAU is offline  
#12 of 16 Old 08-10-2011, 06:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)


G or not, I've started scanning them all.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudiAU View Post

I wouldn't, personally, but we don't allow media at all at that age because I think most of the content is poor or pushes licensed stuff. I don't think there is any reason why a kid that age needs that sort of language directed at them and it WILL come out in their speech. Most G is not, actually "general" to me. If you are watching it with them yes, it could be a discussion but odds are, for most families, you won't be.



 


Let me make sure that my thoughts, words and actions are beneficial to the scene in which I find myself ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#13 of 16 Old 08-10-2011, 10:11 PM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,545
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 29 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post
 I wouldn't say I punish my kids for name calling, either, apart from the stern mood it puts me in.  But I will call them on it.  Every time.


This was me, too.

 

Stupid isn't actually a bad word, but this reminds me that for years, my kids thought "the F word" referred to the word "fat" because they knew that you should never call another person fat, and they didn't know any other words starting with F that they shouldn't say.

 

 

I miss that time.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is online now  
#14 of 16 Old 08-14-2011, 11:08 AM
 
SweetSilver's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Westfarthing
Posts: 4,987
Mentioned: 5 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 45 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

 

Stupid isn't actually a bad word, but this reminds me that for years, my kids thought "the F word" referred to the word "fat" because they knew that you should never call another person fat, and they didn't know any other words starting with F that they shouldn't say.

 


ROTFLMAO.gifThat's funny!  I make a distinction between "angry words" (society's "bad words") which are discouraged but not forbidden, and "mean words" like when my sister calls someone "retard!"  She doesn't apologize for that but will for swearing.  I told her I much prefer that she skip the name calling, even if she is not being serious.  The trick comes in not making the kids too sensitive to this.  I want them to not call each other "stupid" etc but then again I don't want them to melt when they are called something, either.

 


Give me a few minutes while I caffeinate.
SweetSilver is offline  
#15 of 16 Old 08-15-2011, 03:58 PM
 
Mummoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I actually tell my kids to say the F word! It's been proven that when people swear, their pain level goes down. So at home, if my son hurts himself he's allowed to blurt out the F-bomb... his dad does it, and I'm sure he'd have started on his own eventually anyway, so he may as well reap the benefits of swearing now. He usually stops crying and starts giggling when he does it, so I guess it works!  I tried to get DD to do it too, but she wont.

 

I'm surprised by some of the stuff in kids movies, but they learn all the words when they get to school or at parks anyway... I think it's better for their first exposure to at least some of the words be at home, where you can give an appropriate reaction to it. they understand the distinction between name calling and bad words fairly quickly. There are lots of words that are perfectly fine to use in the appropriate context, but are awful when used as an insult...  for example, things that are broken, spoiled or used up are trash, people are not.

 

 


~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

Mummoth is online now  
#16 of 16 Old 08-15-2011, 04:33 PM
 
Tjej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: a beautiful place
Posts: 1,580
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

One of my children (5yo) can handle words like that in a TV show (but she'd probably find the plot too intense).  My other child (3yo) can't handle those words because he will learn them and use them effectively and meanly whenever he is angry.  I am grateful every time he pitches a fit that his media exposure has been very limited/filtered for the most part.  :)  His venom could be so much more toxic.

 

I think it really depends on what you want to have your kids exposed to.  If you don't like it, don't watch them.  If your kid can't handle it without it negatively impacting their behavior or mood, then don't watch it.  There are so many better things to do than watch shows that teach kids how to be mean, IMO.  BUT, there are also a lot worse things they could see or hear than the word stupid. 

 

Tjej

Tjej is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off