5yo angered by sounds of others eating - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 01:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
bea694's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I wasn't sure exactly where to post this, so I'll start here.  I have a 5.5 year-old son who gets angry at the eating sounds of his 2.5 year-old sister.  He has a hard time eating near her, and he makes these grunting noises that I assume are to help him manage the anxiety he feels.  Within the last week, he has started bumping her with his head when she makes any sort of noise with her mouth.   He is a very happy child, and appears typical to me in everything except this.  I'm just wondering if this is starting to rise to the level of needing outside help because it's disrupting our family.  I'm also concerned that it's going to make my daughter feel badly about herself for no other reason than she's a human being who needs to eat!   

 

Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing?  If so, did you seek help?  

 

Thanks for reading.  Any ideas are welcome!

 

 

bea694 is offline  
#2 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 01:20 PM
 
AllyRae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I hate the sound of chewing too...drives me nuts. :lol:

 

That being said, if he has problems with any other sort of quietish noises, I'd wonder if perhaps he might have some mild sensory issues.  If not, I'd just think that this is a little quirk.  Is there any way you could put them on opposite sides of the dining room table?  Maybe even allow him to wear some headphones to block the sounds?


~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
AllyRae is offline  
#3 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 01:21 PM
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Does he seem to have any sensory integration issues going on? 

APToddlerMama is offline  
#4 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
bea694's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post

Does he seem to have any sensory integration issues going on? 


Thanks for your replies!  I was pretty uneducated about sensory integration issues before this came up, so I did a little reading, and I don't recognize any other symptoms in him.  It just seems to be related to eating noises.  Oh, and he also can't stand it if his sister has any food on her face.  He always wants it wiped off immediately.  

 

Allyrae, I thought about earplugs for him, but then I wondered if it would ultimately make things worse for him. (?)  He's not always going to be able to have them when he eats around others, yk?  But I am tempted to do that.  Right now, they're in the kitchen eating yogurt, and I can hear him trying to get her to move away from him.  I'm really concerned this is going to damage her in some way.  

 

bea694 is offline  
#5 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 02:28 PM
 
Alyantavid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Listening to people eat makes me stabby.

 

This might be helpful.   I'd be more concerned with helping him learn to deal with this appropriately than with him damaging your daughter.

Alyantavid is offline  
#6 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
bea694's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Alyantavid, thanks so much for that article.  It's good to be able to put a name to this.  After reading it, I think we do need to seek some help.  

bea694 is offline  
#7 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 03:44 PM
Banned
 
NatureMom2Two's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 42
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am very sensitive to chewing sounds, myself. Truthfully, I cannot handle the sound of someone gnawing on gum or eating loudly. In fact, I often get in arguments with my husband over this very issue! He is a loud eater, and it literally drives me insane. I cannot be in a room with him when he is chewing gum. Cannot. Do. It.

 

So, I sympathize with your son. I don't know that it is an issue of generalized sensory integration or anxiety. I think, rather, we all have some measure of sensitivity to sounds, and this is one that is bothersome to him. I would teach him to manage the sensitivity in a polite way. If the other person is using good table manners, and he is the one with the over-reaction, he can politely excuse himself or position himself in a different chair. If, on the other hand, your daughter's chewing really does represent inappropriate table conduct (as in chewing with an open mouth or taking GIANT bites), I would reprimand her accordingly.

NatureMom2Two is offline  
#8 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 06:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
bea694's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thanks, NMT2.  I appreciate your reply.

bea694 is offline  
#9 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 07:41 PM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)

I also can't stand the sound of chewing.  It is the most disgusting noise imaginable.  Can you sit him at a different spot so he can't reach her and put a radio on near his spot so it drowns out the chomping noise?

One_Girl is offline  
#10 of 34 Old 07-27-2011, 10:19 PM
 
Vermillion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,000
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

  Can you sit him at a different spot so he can't reach her and put a radio on near his spot so it drowns out the chomping noise?



 I like to have meals with music on because hearing people eat (or mouth noise of any kind, really!) drives me nuts!! irked.gif

 

I do have some sensory issues though, and a lot of things bother me to some degree, but I know of a LOT people who don't like to hear someone chomping!


Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

Vermillion is offline  
#11 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 03:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
bea694's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

So, for those of you who struggle with this as an adult, can you remember feeling that way as a child?  Was there anything your parents could have done to make it easier for you?  

 

I have to admit, I'm a bit sad about this.  One of my visions for my family was sitting down to meals together.  My family never did this....we always scattered and ate wherever we wanted.  

bea694 is offline  
#12 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 05:09 AM
 
AllyRae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 6,391
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

See, now reading the part about him hating food on her face kind of makes me think it's sibling rivalry now.  How old are your kids?  Is he bothered by anyone else's chewing noises?  Has your toddler just started doing things like walking and perhaps getting into his stuff?  Just seeing someone with food on their face shouldn't result in angst with SPD.  But if there's something bothering him, like his sister getting a lot of attention, him feeling left out, or her starting to get in his stuff, this could be his way of acting out.

 

And no, I don't remember being that annoyed when I was a kid, but it was possible.  I also can't deal with scraping sounds (pencils on paper, chalk on a chalkboard), low level noises (the tv on barely loud enough to hear anything, mechanical humming, etc.) or touching chalk or chalky surfaces...guess I know where my kids got their sensory issues. :lol: 

 

And you can still have family meals--you just might need some accomodations.  Put some classical music on closer to your son so that it drowns out the eating noises.  Allow him to wear ear plugs.  Make sure they are sitting at opposite ends of the table.  Have a mealtime conversation to distract him.  


~Brandon Michael (11/23/03), Jocelyn Lily Nữ (2/4/07, adopted 5/28/07 from Vietnam), Amelia Rylie (1/14/09), & Ryland Josef William (9/7/05-9/7/05 @ 41 wks). 
AllyRae is offline  
#13 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 07:38 AM
 
Alyantavid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 7,724
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by jacksmamma View Post

So, for those of you who struggle with this as an adult, can you remember feeling that way as a child?  Was there anything your parents could have done to make it easier for you?  

 

I have to admit, I'm a bit sad about this.  One of my visions for my family was sitting down to meals together.  My family never did this....we always scattered and ate wherever we wanted.  



I don't remember being bothered by it as a kid much.  But we very rarely had family meals together either. 

 

Alyantavid is offline  
#14 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 08:28 AM
 
Tjej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: a beautiful place
Posts: 1,581
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Even if he really dislikes the sound, it is inappropriate for him to mistreat his sister.  It sounds to ME like your DS has found a way to pester her and is using it.  While the sound may very well annoy him (who LIKES to hear other people eat?), he is 99% likely capable of controling his body and actions so he does not harm his sister.  Some music for distraction is a great idea - but I would caution that the idea of it would be to get his mind off it for now so it isn't an issue all the time - not something you'd have to do forever.

 

Don't you ever have stuff that annoys you and then you keep noticing it?  It's maddening.  It takes something distracting for a while to not notice it anymore, and then it doesn't matter as much again.

 

Tjej

Tjej is offline  
#15 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 08:32 AM
 
tinuviel_k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 3,372
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I agree: it might be sensory issues, but it also might be sibling rivalry, plain and simple. I remember when I was a kid that several things that my sister did REALLY bothered me. I don't know if chewing was one of them, but I do remember getting super pissy and nit-picky about certain things when she did them, but not when ANYONE else did. I felt very put-upon and justified at the time, but looking back I was just mad about my little sister and was being a jerk.redface.gif
tinuviel_k is offline  
#16 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 08:43 AM
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by jacksmamma View Post

Alyantavid, thanks so much for that article.  It's good to be able to put a name to this.  After reading it, I think we do need to seek some help.  



I think so too.  That was an interesting article and aside from wondering about sensory issues initially, the part about you thinking he was making grunting noises to control his anxiety about it made me wonder if there was something more going on.  It definitely sounds like there is an anxiety component to it and I would want to see about working with a therapist who has some training in this.  I don't think just expecting him to be respectful of his sister is going to solve the problem and I doubt this is just an issue of sibling rivalry.  Even if he outwardly complies with being polite to his sister about this, he is bothered by the sound and I think it would be helpful for him to learn how to cope and manage this better.  Good luck mama.  I bet you'll be able to figure out some solutions to make meal time a lot happier and less stressful. 

 

APToddlerMama is offline  
#17 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 09:04 AM
 
nextcommercial's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I absolutely cannot stand the sound of chewing.   One of the first things I teach my daycare kids is to chew with your lips closed.  By 2 they all do it.  

 

I also HATE the sound of women who snap gum.  WTH are they thinking?  Where were their mothers when they learned this?  That is the rudest, most obnoxious thing I've ever heard.  If any of you is a gum snapper... knock it off!  It's tacky and irritating.

 

My sound issues are a problem for me.  I refuse to be in the same room when my own 50 yr old husband eats cereal... and when I HAVE to be in there, it's all I can do not to call his Mom on the phone and rip her apart for clearly dropping the ball with him.   I mean..he eats with the big spoon, and sucks the milk from the spoon first, then puts the cereal in his mouth... but, it's too much food to eat with his lips closed.  

 

Anyway... give the poor boy some space from his sister, and work with her on closing his lips when she eats.  Turn on the radio to drown out some of that sound.  

 

I totally understand how he feels!!!  Give him a pat on the head for me.  

nextcommercial is offline  
#18 of 34 Old 07-28-2011, 05:32 PM
 
OboePlayerMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 103
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My DD, who is almost 6, dealt with this problem starting after turning 5.  She is very sensitive to watching or hearing people eat, and she really gets grossed out if she sees food on someone's face.  It started pretty soon after she got sick (had a throw-up bug) - even though she got over the illness, it seemed to heighten her sensitivity to these issues.  She really had trouble in school at snack time, and ended up not eating snack for several weeks, which affected her mood (verrrry crabby), which then affected her behavior and her relationships with her classmates.  She was also showing anxiety over a couple of other issues (fear of dogs was one), so we did seek some professional help.  The therapist basically told us she was fine and that she just needed time to outgrow her fears.  I have noticed she now has coping mechanisms in place (that she came up with on her own) - she'll put the back of her hand in front of her nose and mouth if something is bothering her, and I know that's her cue that she needs a drink of water or she needs to leave the table.  It made family dinners difficult for a few weeks, but we had her sit with the family each night for as long as she could handle it.  I did let her eat breakfast separately from her brother, and her wonderful teacher let her eat lunch after the other students had finished.  We just worked through it the best way we could, knowing that it wasn't her fault.  She is still sensitive, but can handle things better - part of the outgrowing of it that the doctor promised.  We ate in a restaurant today for the first time in months.  I feel like that was a major big deal for her to handle.  So hopefully your son will outgrow his sensitivities to some extent, but it certainly can't hurt to seek a professional opinion and help him come up with some coping skills. 


Leslie, Mommy to DS(8) and DD(almost 6) :

OboePlayerMom is offline  
#19 of 34 Old 07-29-2011, 02:42 PM
 
1love4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: A state whose Medicaid does not cover circumcision! :)
Posts: 1,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Your son sounds like me when I was a kid.  Certain noises, especially those that my brother made, drove me crazy and I would get really mad and anxious and could not stand to be around him.  My parents just made me tolerate it.  I think I did make him feel bad about himself because I was always yelling at him to knock it off and my parents would make me leave or whatever.  I think that you should try to keep them as far apart at the table as possible when eating.  I eventually grew out of my behavior

1love4ever is offline  
#20 of 34 Old 07-30-2011, 11:29 AM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by jacksmamma View Post

So, for those of you who struggle with this as an adult, can you remember feeling that way as a child?  Was there anything your parents could have done to make it easier for you?  

 

I have to admit, I'm a bit sad about this.  One of my visions for my family was sitting down to meals together.  My family never did this....we always scattered and ate wherever we wanted.  


I don't remember being bothered much by it as a child.  I was definitely bothered by a lot of the noises and fidgeting my brother did though and he was very bothered by me as well.  It could just be a sibling thing, especially if he doesn't have any actual signs of sensory issues.  I don't think this rules out family meals, it may mean that you need to focus on teaching her to close her mouth to chew early and find ways to keep them separated and him distracted until she learns not to make that noise.  It may also be that you just need to find out why she is really annoying to him right now and deal with it from that angle.  Maybe he needs some time away from her.

 

One_Girl is offline  
#21 of 34 Old 07-30-2011, 01:00 PM
 
Lovesong's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I'm dealing with sound sensitivities myself, which mainly manifest themselves in three ways:

- Irritation at eating sounds generally (especially chewing and slurping) in a quiet environment when I am not eating myself. I get really, raging sometimes over people's eating sounds. I've learnt to deal with it, growing up, but I can imagine how your son must feel.

- A low threshold for music, even if it is music I like. It just tires my head to no end until I HAVE to have some quietness. It doesn't matter if the music is loud, or just spilling from a pair of headphones on the bus. I just can't take it.

- A general low acceptance of background noise, be it constant traffic or the mixed sound of hundreds of people talking in a restaurant. I NEED quietness and a retreat after being subjected to it for a few hours.

 

I would suggest as a first step, to see to it that your son and daughter does not sit next to each other to eat. So he simply can't hit her. When he starts making grunting noises, ask him in a calm tone about it. Let him explain it, but also explain to him that his little sister can't help it so you will have to work at it together to make it more tolerable for him (in my case, it never worked with music of obvious reasons, but chewing myself did).

Lovesong is offline  
#22 of 34 Old 07-30-2011, 03:08 PM
 
1love4ever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: A state whose Medicaid does not cover circumcision! :)
Posts: 1,126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Sorry my last response was so rushed my battery was almost dead.

Anyway, I would make sure that the two of them are as far apart as possible while eating while still being at the same table.  If you can expand your table and have them sit even farther apart that would be great.

The thing that bothered me the most about this when I was a kid is that my parents always made me feel like a jerk when i would be bothered by my brothers noises.  They would never try to ask/teach him to eat quietly(sometimes was bothered me honestly was him just being really loud and gross, but I was also annoyed by sounds he could not help), they would allow him to TRY to annoy me by letting him purposfully make loud slurping and chewing noises and do nothing about it even though they knew it drove me crazy, and if I would ever say  anything about his noises or express my annoyance they would tell me to shut up and stop being such a spoiled brat, which of course made me feel like a jerk.  I think the hugest thing here would be making sure you respect your sons feelings.  If you know he really is TRYING to be a brat, then say something, but if it just annoys him then dont just yell at him or disregard his feelings, because it really is hard to deal with.  As a kid I never even wanted to be at the table(I sat right next to my brother too which did not help)

Once your daughter realizes that your son is annoyed by her, make sure she is not trying to make extra loud noises on purpose.  Thats all I can really say!

1love4ever is offline  
#23 of 34 Old 07-30-2011, 04:18 PM
 
donttrustthesystem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 102
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I would look into a gut flora imbalance, which can cause this type of thing.  Takes a bit of work to correct, but well worth it.

donttrustthesystem is offline  
#24 of 34 Old 07-30-2011, 04:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
bea694's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Quote:
Originally Posted by donttrustthesystem View Post

I would look into a gut flora imbalance, which can cause this type of thing.  Takes a bit of work to correct, but well worth it.


Wow, really?  Thank you for sharing that.  I will definitely do some homework on this.  If you have any sources or info handy that you could share, that would be great! 

 

Thanks to all who have responded.  I definitely don't believe he's doing it to be difficult.  I'm pretty sure it's causing him genuine anxiety.  And honestly, I don't know what my daughter could do differently.  She does chew with her mouth closed, and just makes what I would consider normal eating sounds for a toddler.  Like I said, I am concerned about this giving her a complex when she's a human being who has right to eat in her own home.  So, I agree with everyone that I need to focus on finding some coping strategies to help him.  You've given me some great insights, and I truly appreciate it!!

 

bea694 is offline  
#25 of 34 Old 07-30-2011, 08:33 PM
 
risenshine001's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi,

 

Our 9.5 year old has this problem since a couple of years.

 

He gets extremely agitated and irritated when others eat near him...this is totally disrupting our daily live.

We consulted a doctor about it [ although not an ENT yet] and he said its 'between his ears', meaning a quirk! He said it will go away.

But it has not...to the point, if we eat near him he yells at us and if we continue eating...even 'softly' he starts crying that it is hurting him a lot.

Then we have to separate ourselves and eat in other places :(

It is very, very hard.

 

On other thing is...he has had sever knees and other joint pains since he was 5.  

We give him Ibuprofen for it...and also for a couple of months, Naproxen [ docs' prescription]...

I think I recall reading somewhere that Ibuprofen/naproxen can cause ear sensitivity.

 

We plan on seeing an ENT specialist and also an Audiologist for this ASAP.

His eating habits are poor too..he has never eaten meat, chicken [ except chicken nuggets and fries] or fish...and most vegetables...he eats lettuce, carrots, noodles, mac n cheese, bread and rice with cheese, some fruits and milk and juice....and of course, most junk foods like snacks/candies etc..

 

What I recall is...when he was an infant, he would eat most veggies...then all of a sudden around 4-6 months he started rejecting all foods...except breast milk and some formula. :(

It was very difficult then..and I did not understand it.

 

Any thoughts welcome.

risenshine001 is offline  
#26 of 34 Old 07-31-2011, 04:53 AM
 
Softmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,035
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have this as well and did as a child also.  The hardest part as a kid was that my family made fun of me for it.  They thought I was just being dramatic.  They had no idea how much this bothered me and how much I WISHED I could just be normal.  The fact that he has an understanding mother is huge!!  That will make such a difference for him.

 

What I do now is play music during meals.  My kids know I have a problem (I'm sure to tell them it's my problem and not theirs) and I ask them to turn on the radio anytime they eat so that mom doesn't have to hear it.  We do sit down every night and eat dinner together.  We just play music in the background.  Just wanted to let you know that is still possible!

 

 

Softmama is offline  
#27 of 34 Old 09-19-2011, 02:39 PM
 
ma2two's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,476
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by donttrustthesystem View Post

I would look into a gut flora imbalance, which can cause this type of thing.  Takes a bit of work to correct, but well worth it.


This is exactly what I was thinking. I'm so glad someone else said it.

 

Just because so many people on this thread have the same problem does not mean it is normal. I would treat this as a health issue.

 

Huge, daily amounts of probiotics for a long period of time (plan on at least one year)  are required to permanently fix an unhealthy bowel. You will start noticing improvements before one year, but keep with it. The only easy way to get this amount is with VSL#3, which has 450 billion CFU's per packet. I give each of my kids one unflavored packet per day, divided into morning and evening doses, mixed with yogurt. But it can be put into anything cold, such as applesauce or smoothies. I buy it directly from the company to make sure it is kept cold at all times. They ship it to you in a cooler. DH and I each take 2 flavored packets per day, mixed with water. It is expensive, but we don't have to pay for doctors and medication anymore. smile.gif And we also know the expense will last only 1 or 2 years.

ma2two is offline  
#28 of 34 Old 09-20-2011, 11:08 AM
 
Chaika's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say to the OP that I think it's great that you are considering your daughter's feelings and trying to spare her from developing a complex!  A few years ago, my sister and I were living together and she told me that I am a "loud eater." Even though we were both adults and she said it in a kind and gentle way, I felt horrible and ashamed.  I got so paranoid, thinking this might have been something about me that annoyed people over the years that I was unaware of.  I put in an effort to eat "quietly" for a while, but I really couldn't feel any difference (it's kind of hard for me to tell if I'm loud or not), so if I am "loud" it seems to be beyond my control. 

 

Anyway, I still don't know if it's my issue or just something she's super sensitive to, but I ended up deciding not to beat myself up over it since I have plenty of other loveable qualities winky.gif.  And I have noticed my husband is a very loud eater, so maybe we're just a good match in that way. 

 

I just wanted to offer my perspective, as a possible "loud eater" who can't help it and is genuinely not trying to annoy anyone!  I like the suggestion of playing music at meals. 


Working mom and grad student with a weird husband, a few cats, and a nifty kid!   Anton, born 8/9/11 jog.gif

Chaika is offline  
#29 of 34 Old 09-20-2011, 01:35 PM
 
hopefulfaith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2,149
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I can't stand hearing chewing noises.  I generally play low, background music at dinner and encourage dinner conversation to drown out the lip & mouth sounds.

 

(An aside:  the best consequence of this has been sharing my music with my kids, and they are currently on a Paul Simon kick.  They can also sing most of the Beatles now, too.  :)  I have to say that I love that.)


Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
hopefulfaith is offline  
#30 of 34 Old 09-20-2011, 06:05 PM
 
Wolfcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 1,117
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 5 Post(s)

http://www.tinnitus-audiology.com/softsound.html


Check out my business, Pangaia Metaphysical Store, and radio blog, Pagan Musings.
I'm a witchy mama to DS ('06) and DD ('10) with DH, Stormie, a heathen homemaker daddy.

Wolfcat is offline  
Reply

Tags
Anger Management In Children And Teens Helping Your Children Cope With Their Emotions , Guide To Anger Management , Im Not Bad Im Just Mad A Workbook To Help Kids Control Their Anger

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off