Anyone else feel like they are failing at parenting? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 08-04-2011, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
Trucksma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

HELP!!! I have two AWESOME boys 3 and 5 and I just feel like I am messing this whole parenting thing up. Growing up I remember my parents being soo confident in what they were doing, but me and my husband don't have a clue. I over annalize EVERYTHING, to the point that no matter we choose to do I see the negatives....uggg

Trucksma is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 08-04-2011, 03:29 AM
 
monkeybum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Toronto, ON (Canada)
Posts: 692
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

OMG, yes, thanks for posting this.  I feel like this too, I question so many of my choices and feel like I'm probably the worst parent sometimes. It's such an enormous responsibility to raise children, and to think that the decisions we make as parents affect their whole lives.

 

I wish they came with a manal! LOL

 

 

monkeybum is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 08-04-2011, 03:45 AM
 
madskye's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,219
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yes, especially when I have PMS.  Then I feel like nothing I do is right.  Also, I just worry all the time that I am making mistakes that will ruin DD's character for life.  It is really hard to lighten up sometimes and just live life!

madskye is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 08-04-2011, 02:40 PM
 
aparent's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 108
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

  You begin by saying you have 2 "AWESOME boys."

You have a lot to do with them being awesome so

obviously you're not messing the whole parenting

thing up.

  I have high expectations of my parenting that are

very hard hard to fufill but feel that children give

parents and `A' for effort. I'd say they feel your love

and the force of your intention and that effects them

much more than anything else.  They will probably

be parents some day and as another poster said

it's an enormous responsibility and you are modelling

for them, in that most difficult endeavour, the thing

upon which everything else matters; the effort, the

caring, the why.  I'm guessing you are those boys

hero in some way and they'd fight for you as you

fight, struggle to be your best for them and do your

best by them.

 

I threw my cup away when I saw a child drinking from his hands at the trough.

~ Diogenes


"Let us put our minds together and see what life we can make

   for our children." ~ Tatanka Iotanka

 Join and help start the nonprofit organization "World Parent"

   www.worldparent.org

aparent is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 08-11-2011, 12:47 PM
 
laila2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 223
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I find that whatever I have faulted my mom for, I have done onto my children.  And now I understand her better.  Poor mom

meemee likes this.
laila2 is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 08-11-2011, 01:22 PM
 
Slaydensmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kaua'i
Posts: 104
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

You are not alone. I think parenting is the most challenging thing I have ever entered into. I feel I have made so many mistakes already. I have only one son-he's 5.5 yrs. now and it has taken me alot of work to forgive myself and be ok with the mistakes I feel I have made. I am sure though that my son knows he is loved and that makes me feel like at least I have that right. He is also a great kid.  

It's hard sometimes too to not compare yourself with other parents who seem so together and know what they are doing...but most of the parents I talk to admit that they are just doing their best too....Parenting is a journey. I feel like my son is helping to raise me in a way. His person presents so many opportunities to grow as a human-to be more loving, and  less critical, listen more, react less....As a previous poster said...she now understands her mother better.  Ido too...and I can try to change those things that I remember not enjoying about my mother's parenting...as I see myself re-enaacting some of it. UUGH! nut.gif

Of course we all want our sons and daughters to have the pleasure of good parents and guidance to grow into healthy happy people....One person told me," Know that your son picked you and your husband to be his parents.As a soul he has things he needs to work out and he picked you to help in his journey." so for whatever that is worth I am passing that on to you. 

Slaydensmom is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 08-11-2011, 08:22 PM
 
kayleesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 1,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

right there with u


Mom to K(7)M(4)and baby J(2)cold.gifhh2.gif
:

kayleesmom is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 08-24-2011, 10:41 AM
 
samozzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yes, we ALL feel like that sometimes.....I also over analyze things and forget to bring it back to the basics sometimes. For me, I find it really helps to take a step back, take some deep breaths and just LOVE my kids. Make a conscious effort to  just find moments in the day to simply be with them with your undivided attention in play. So simple, so basic, and somehow it never fails to be the best medicine for all of us! the giggles, the hugs, the being silly brings it all home.....

samozzy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off