starting Kindergarten - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 08-28-2011, 09:31 AM - Thread Starter
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I'm finding myself feeling blue, blue, blue now that my DS and first-born is about to start Kindergarten. This is the only place I know to turn to acknowledge my feelings of grief. I poured my heart and soul into giving birth and attachment parenting this beautiful boy for 5 years, and now a good part of each of his days will be filled by other people. I know rationally that this is the way it has to be, but is anyone else feeling sadness and longing for their "baby"?


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#2 of 12 Old 08-28-2011, 12:43 PM
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I could have written your post! I am in the same situation. I have spent many nights after I tuck my little guy in, crying myself to sleep over the whole Kindergarten thing. Part of me wishes we lived in a town with 1/2day Kindergarten. It upsets me that he will be out of my care for 6hours EVERY day. I will tell you what helped me tremendously: I e-mailed his teacher a long e-mail about my questions, concerns, little things about my son that I felt she should know. I was pleasantly surprised that she responded very quickly to every concern, invited us to come in and meet with her without all the other students etc. The part that touched me the most was her telling me that children are to be treasured and she treats her school children as she would treat her own. I'm a teacher myself, turned stay at home Mom....and I felt silly e-mailing a teacher such a lengthy message 2 weeks before school but I am so glad I did. She also told me about several different ways to volunteer in the classroom on a regular basis plus we can go and eat lunch with our child in the cafeteria. She has helped me a lot but I'm still a mess. I seriously think, that up to this point, I can say the day my son goes off to K is the worst day of my life! He's perfect and I have so many fears about sending him off to I miss the baby days too....I just tear up looking at his baby photos. How did those years go by so fast? You are not alone! I see you not alone. I think for some parents like us, this is normal. But it still feels yucky!Plus I'm trying to hide a lot from my son because if he sees me upset then he will have a tough time adjusting himself out of concern for me! I'm glad you posted....good to know there are others out there!

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#3 of 12 Old 08-29-2011, 09:44 PM
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I know, I feel the same way. ds has been in daycare/preschool since he was 8mo, so it's not as though we've never been apart, but somehow this feels like a really big step all of a sudden--as though this really marks a transition away from him being my baby boy to being a true kid with his own friends, his own interests, etc. I'm very sad, even though he's very excited about it all. It doesn't help that I'm so loving the 5yo stage--he's so cute, really mature and advanced about everything, but still so unabashedly excited about things, so innocent and loving....I hope that lasts forever.


So...I'm not actually upset, but it's definitely a sad moment for me. Hope your LOs make a happy transition into their new schools!

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#4 of 12 Old 08-29-2011, 10:12 PM
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It was heartbreaking for me (last year), but at the same time, totally necessary since I was a single parent with no support system and a brand new baby to boot. I really needed the break and DD public schooling for kindergarten was a life saver. It was still terribly hard, though, even knowing that it had to be done. One of her teachers was absolutely lovely and kept me updated on everything. Knowing who she was spending her time with and what that time was being filled with made it easier.

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#5 of 12 Old 09-03-2011, 10:59 AM
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Yes. It hasn't been easy on my son or myself. I miss him lots... (((hugs))))


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#6 of 12 Old 09-05-2011, 10:17 AM
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my son started JK last year at 4.5yo so I thought I'd chime in and give some perspective. now that we're a year in to traditional schooling I have to say that my now 5.5yo is still very much a part of me and even though he has his friends and schedule and stuff he still cuddles with me at night, i'm still the most important person in his life. don't worry mama, you'll always be his #1 person. always and forever. hugs to you. :)

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#7 of 12 Old 09-05-2011, 09:21 PM
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my dd is in 4th grade and i STILL feel this way. esp. after we get a long summer together of doing so much. 


yeah i still grieve. dd is really excited about starting school and i am excited about her teacher... but a part of me still mourns the end of summer. the long days of fun together to watch dd become who she is. 

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#8 of 12 Old 09-07-2011, 08:51 AM
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Me, me, me! I feel the same way. DS#1 just started 1st grade and this is the first time he has been gone all day. I miss him terribly, but he is thriving and doing beautifully.

Proud Mommy to my amazing boys (6 and 4) and my precious little girl (18 months).

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#9 of 12 Old 05-22-2013, 08:00 PM
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This is an old thread I stumbled upon but I know when my now three yr old goes to kindergarden I will feel the same. I think Kindergarden should be half day. My son is starting preschool next fall and it is great cause I can have him there just from 8:30-12;30 s few or many days as we want. And be together the rest of the time.

I love the school I am sending him too but eas dismayed to hear they do full day kindergarden.


I am going to do everything I can (if I still feel this way then which I know I will) to just send him there 1/2 day. The school we are going to is a private school and I even asked someone there when I first heard of it if I could send him 1/2 day and they said no.

but I will pursue it when I am closer to that time.


Yes what a crazy thing though- my guy is three and still with me ALL the time- since he was born- and to send him off too much- yuck! They are still so little then-!


I am curious to hear if anyone who wrote on this thread has a 2 year later update on how things went? As this thread is 2 yrs old!

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#10 of 12 Old 05-22-2013, 08:03 PM
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re reading this thread it makes me realize in general that for me the school day is too long- too long for the people who are able and want to spend more of their days with their kids. they should come home an hour or two earlier than they do or something- at least in my ideal scenario!

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#11 of 12 Old 05-23-2013, 04:07 AM
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My DD is just finishing kindergarten and has loved every minute. I'm actually glad it's full-day. There's so much to do and it would be too stressful to squeeze everything into three hours. A six-hour day allows for a good blend of focused (but hands-on) learning and free play. And DD loves going to Art, PE, Library, and music.
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#12 of 12 Old 05-23-2013, 09:17 AM
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I am kind of not for the full day or 1/2. smile.gif I'd prefer if it was slightly shorter than a full day. Maybe a 3/4 day would have been great. But imagine them trying to make everyone happy. At 5 for them to have a little under an 8 hr day is long. But I think they do need more than 1/2 day to really get serious work done. I know from a friend who's a teacher that how much of the time just goes in exercising them to listen, be quiet etc.

Don't imagine the worst incidents in your emotional life -- keep a positive attitude.
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