Accidental injury by playmate--but so far three doctors visits wwyd? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 10 Old 09-02-2011, 10:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My child suffered a corneal abrasion when a playmate threw something and it hit her in the eye.  We still don't know how bad the injury is (her sight is not 100% in that eye) yet.  I believe this was accidental (neither 5 yr. old says it was intentional).  Still, the time, energy, copays, etc. are beginning to add up. 

 

I would have offered to cover any medical expenses, had my child caused the injury.  And, if the family refused to accept anything, we would have delivered a kid-created care package (a drawing, maybe a stuffed animal...).  I'm feeling a bit dismissed by the other parent/family. 

 

Am I off base here? 

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#2 of 10 Old 09-02-2011, 10:24 PM
 
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first mama hug2.gifthis must be so scary for you - esp. this waiting game. 

 

in my humble opinion yes. 

 

we have had injuries on both sides. 

 

it has never ever entered my head to ask the other family to pay my bills. never. 

 

the fact that you are asking them shows that even though it was unintentional you hold them responsible for what their child did. 

 

i have never asked for compensation for broken toy, or anything. 

 

to me kinda that's what comes with the territory of playdates. 

 

and i sure hope if i said no - dont give me any compensation - please dont give me anything. 

 

the thing is everyone lives their lives to the best of their ability. 

 

i try not expect out of others the way i view life. so just coz i would do something, i dont expect others to do that way for me. of course i get miffed and upset initially till i see where i am making a mistake, or where i am expecting too much.

 

but if they found out that your child has cornea abrasion and they didnt ask how things were going I would be really pissed. 


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#3 of 10 Old 09-03-2011, 07:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks!  I think you're right--I'm feeling like they aren't thinking of my child.  I used the word dismissed earlier but that word doesn't convey the emotion to the degree I'm feeling cast off.  Interestingly, this family is typically (fairly) thoughtful. 

 

On the flip side, the boy that threw the object happened years ago to fall and need stitches--we weren't even there--and my children made get well cards, etc. 

 

I guess it's one of those things where I shouldn't have expectations of others!  Breathe, let go, move on!

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#4 of 10 Old 09-03-2011, 07:53 AM
 
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They could just be horribly embarrassed and uncomfortable. I know I have been guilty of not saying things when I probably should have, simply because I felt like whatever I said would be insufficient to the situation, as well as not really knowing how to bring it up. 

 

As to your question, I personally wouldn't ask them to reimburse co-pays etc. YMMV. It was an accident. That's what insurance is for. And, I hope your daughter gets better soon!

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#5 of 10 Old 09-03-2011, 08:06 AM
 
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They could just be horribly embarrassed and uncomfortable. I know I have been guilty of not saying things when I probably should have, simply because I felt like whatever I said would be insufficient to the situation, as well as not really knowing how to bring it up.

Yes to this. Last year DS broke his elbow at a classmate's birthday party (which was at their house) and was in a huge cast for three weeks and then a sling for three more. It was on a bouncy water slide. The parents were mortified and paralyzed. They did eventually ask how DS was doing when I ran into them, but that's all we ever got. But I knew that they are good people and I just let it go. Accidents happen. People are weird. You're on the right path. Breathe, let go, focus on your child.

-e


Momma to 8 y.o. DS and 5 y.o. DD. Married to a Maker!

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#6 of 10 Old 09-03-2011, 08:19 AM
 
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I would never ask another parent to cover medical costs but that's me. If you feel like you need to ask them then do. There is no right or wrong and you need to do whatever your instincts are telling you.

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#7 of 10 Old 09-04-2011, 12:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks everyone!  Funny how when I breathe and let go things happen...  The diagnosis is not pretty and we won't know for months if the eye will heal properly.  DD will be on meds for at least 3 months.  It is scary to think her vision may never be the same again. 

 

That said, her friend dropped off a sweet care package and note yesterday.  The mom called today to cover the medical expenses.  I'm not sure how we'll progress, but it feels better to have compassion from the other family. 

 

My biggest lesson from this experience is how easily an eye injury can occur.   Here are some links I found which may help others learn about eye injuries, care and prevention:

 

 

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#8 of 10 Old 09-04-2011, 05:06 PM
 
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I'm glad they acknowledged your DD, and made the offer. I think I would make the offer to pay if it were my child who caused the injury, but at the same time, it was an accident and no one's fault. It's awkward, getting into that, especially b/c it's generally no problem to cover a couple of copays and a prescription. But what if your DD requires a corneal transplant or something? Where do you draw the line? So maybe it's neater to not offer to pay/ask them to pay and just accept that accidents happen.

The least they could do is send a card or call to see how she's doing, and they've done that, so hopefully that will help. And prayers to your DD for a quicker-than-expected recovery, and a full one at that. hug2.gif
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#9 of 10 Old 09-04-2011, 06:55 PM
 
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any update on how your child is doing? and i would never ask for medical bills to be paid becuase of accidental injury.


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#10 of 10 Old 09-06-2011, 06:12 AM
 
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I agre with the others.  It's nice that they brought a care package, etc., but I wouldn't ask for them to cover medical expenses.  Kids are kids, and I know that it could easily be MY child on either end of such a situation.  I hope your daughte recovers quickly.

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