help me with my mother - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 09-11-2011, 01:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
justrying's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

so I need some help...my mother is a classic narcissist...sex issues (invalidity in her marriage with my dad)...gambling...alchohol,drugs...she's very complex...she is in a new marriage and despite her poor choices for her life, she is kind and loving..I have a 5yr old and a 3yr old, that she loves very much and wants to be a part of their lives..I have layed down boundaries as far as drugs and alcohol go..but my husband is concerned her "personality disorder" will rub off on our children...what should I do? help

justrying is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 09-11-2011, 02:09 PM
 
philomom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Play wait and see. Don't let her be alone with them. Always be nearby during their visits to make sure she's not messing with their heads. Sorry.
philomom is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 09-13-2011, 08:00 AM
 
little feet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree, don't let your mom be alone with your children.  People with NPD always have an ulterior motive; it's always about them and never about others.  Not to say that your mother is the same as mine, but my mother needs the appearance of being a good grandmother.  She'll take pictures of the kids and then be "done" with them.  She has gotten mad at me for not sending enough pictures she can show off, but she doesn't do anything to care for them in real life.  She'll read a book to them only because she actually thinks she gets "points" for doing so. But if they try to cuddle with her in the bed, she'll actually get out of the bed.  She'll brag about them to strangers, but won't brush their teeth, even if they beg her to!  When they're sick, she couldn't care less.  She doesn't care about their milestones if it doesn't make her look good.  She actually got mad once when the two year old wouldn't hug her; she felt slighted!  She's never even once tried to visit my older daughter (now 6) at school.

 

She will, however, send cards that say "I love you."  It is so confusing for the kids.

 

Watch her like a hawk.

little feet is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 09-13-2011, 05:07 PM
 
kayleesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: MA
Posts: 1,214
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

my mom is same way. big hugs i say do the wait and see but dont let her be alone with kids. my mom has messed with my kids heads many times and it is very hard to deal with. big hugs.


Mom to K(7)M(4)and baby J(2)cold.gifhh2.gif
:

kayleesmom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off