4.5 yo hitting, spitting, name calling-only to his older brother - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 1 Old 09-11-2011, 05:44 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi mamas,


It's been awhile since I posted here, but I need some serious help.  I'm at my wits end with my middle boy, 4.5 yo.  He and his older brother (6) always squabble, but lately my 4 yo has been getting quite violent. Lots of hitting, kicking, spitting, name calling and it doesn't seem to matter what we do, he cannot stop. I feel so bad for my 6yo :(

The crazy thing is that he is only like this at home.  He is in care during the week and my babysitter (who is also a close friend) says he's an absolute angel. Helpful with the babies, plays amazingly with her son.

Anyway, is this normal first of all, and if it is, I need some suggestions for how to deal with this. And if it's not, well, I need to know that too.

I think there are some contributing factors, he has been a little angry since his little brother was born (17 months ago) but he is generally nice to the baby and does seem to care about him. The other thing is that dp and I have been having problems, so I'm sure that's not helping. I tried to ask him tonight if there are things that are making him sad, angry, etc. but he really just doesn't hear me or understand what i'm asking?

I've really tried to make an effort to let him know I notice when he's being kind and helpful, all those things. I'm trying to give him one on one time, but once his brother is home, he is all over him.

Okay, I will stop rambling and try and add more later. Any advice would be so appreciated.


Mama to Finn (04/05) Arlo (04/07) and Henry (04/10)
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