4.5 yo boy hitting & spitting - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 11-04-2011, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
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My friend wrote me this in an email today:


"Do you know of a website that is helpful for guidance on child behavior? Particularly 4 year old boy behavior and hitting? I know there's the "boys will be be boys" attitude, but I'm concerned. We address it at home, but would like to know if there's more that I can do."


Any sites and books I can pass along to my friend would be most appreciated.  Thx!

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#2 of 5 Old 11-16-2011, 03:32 PM
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Does your friend want to join mothering?  I'm having the same problem and would love to commiserate.  DH and I are stumped!!

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#3 of 5 Old 11-18-2011, 08:15 AM
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I have no advice but I can commiserate!

My DS turned 4 in August and has recently started acting very angry at home. Hitting, spitting, "i hate you...you are stupid", etc. He has always been a bit anxious (I am too) but he just seems so negative for a four year old. I have a difficult time taking him to the playground because I'm afraid what might happen. However, his teacher (he is in PreK for three hours a day five days a week) says he is very shy and quiet, doesn't stand up for himself. 

I've called the pediatrician who told me to fill out a "Vanderbilt Questionnaire" but that deals with ADD/ADHD. Personally I think it is low self esteem. 

I plan to follow through with whatever the pediatrician recommends so I will keep you posted if interested.

Good luck!


Here's the link to the Vanderbilt Questionnaire:


DS1-08/12/2007 DS2-06/24/2009
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#4 of 5 Old 11-20-2011, 07:31 PM
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Ahaparenting.com for a website and Discipline for Life by Madelyn Swift for a book

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#5 of 5 Old 11-21-2011, 08:01 AM
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She could try a speech therapist that works with children on pragmatics.


My son, now 7.5yo (who does have ADHD and possibly Asperger's) doesn't hit or have the generally negative attitude anymore, he still has difficulty communicating effectively and is in speech therapy at school.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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