tickling fun or torture? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 02-23-2012, 08:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
superperson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think you can help solve this. Is tickling a fun playful game or is it torture? Over the holidays this was a debate in my family. I saw a younger cousin being held down and tickled by an older cousin. It appeared the younger of the two was begging for him to stop. I know all about that as a step uncle used to tickle me to the point of torturing. He thought since I was laughing I must have had a good time. I think the same went for two of my cousins. Some people were saying they hate tickling others because if the torment and others said it is ok if you don't pin someone and tickle them. Some said that the person doing the tickling exhbits control over the other.

Is it true that in colonial and other parts of history that tickling was used for torture? Is tickling ok?
superperson is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 02-23-2012, 05:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
superperson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Just to add a little more what I was thinking. Near the end of my first paragraph, I was trying to say that some of the people in my family were saying that if someone likes to tickle like that, it's not so much about tickling as it is about controlling them, since you are at the mercy of them.

 

I remember my step uncle starting out asking where I was ticklish.  And would you agree that if someone asks that generally your going to be tickled.  If you say yes they'll tickle and if you say no they will do it anyway.  I remember him holding me and tickling my sides/ribs and even my feet.  I would try to protest and shout "no, stop" but since I was laughing he thought I was having the time of my life.

 

That is the similar situation that happened over the holidays, one of my younger cousins was being tickled.

 

And what I said before, I thought I heard how the Chinese used tickling as torture as did colonial Americans.

 

Just a clarification, thank you Jessica.

superperson is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 03-01-2012, 07:01 AM
 
JessicaWilliams's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 72
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi,

Thanks for your question and your thoughts and concerns about this situation. Your instincts are on track. I will write more about this within the week.

Yours,

Jessica

 

www.LoveParentingLA.com

www.UltimateParentingCourse.com

JessicaWilliams is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 03-06-2012, 09:01 AM
 
JessicaWilliams's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 72
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

Hi,

Thanks for your question and your thoughts and concerns about this situation. Your instincts are on track. There is a lot of research and conversation out today about just what you are intuiting; that tickling can be a very uncomfortable situation for little children, and yet, because of the laughter, there can be confusion for both parties as to whether it is "fun." 

In the final analysis, some people feel it is best if there is no ticking, ever.

Others feel if the tickling is sweet and light, and the tickler will clearly stop if there is any indication that is wanted, then it can be okay. 

Others advise always having a clear "stop" sign as a safety word, either a single word or a physical sign, like tapping the knee or something similar.

If the ticker doesn't stop, tickles rough, tickles against the will of the child or tickles as an excuse to touch the young person, it is considered abuse.

The fact that you feel uncomfortable about it is enough to insist that it stop.

Abuse in all forms more often happens from within the family, extended family and community.

All the best,

Jessica

 

 

JessicaWilliams is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off