dilema about going out with 3yr old after bedtime - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 04-28-2012, 01:32 PM - Thread Starter
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Ugh, i never know what to do in this type of situation-someone we just met and liked (who have a 21/2yr old) just invited us to dinner. The dinner is at 6:30 or 7pm. Our DD (and often me!) are almost always in bed by 7 or 7:30. Is it bad to keep her up for something like this? We would like more friends but I worry about how bad and stressful it is to keep DD up. 


What do you think???


p.s. if it was someone we knew already I would probably say no but we just met this family and don't want to miss an opportunity to start a friendship.

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#2 of 9 Old 04-28-2012, 04:58 PM
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When our 2 were little, we would bring their sleep stuff over to friends and they could crash if they were tired.  Maybe if you mentioned that you were keen to get together, but you were worried about dd fussing since it would be past her usual bedtime they would have some ideas, or you could use that as a lead in to ask if they have a place for her to crash if she wanted to.

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#3 of 9 Old 04-28-2012, 05:16 PM
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Whenever we are asked to dinner, the host asks us what time works for us and we work it out together.


Can you ask them to move the dinner a tad earlier?

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#4 of 9 Old 04-28-2012, 05:53 PM
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We do go out past bedtime sometimes & it's usually not a big deal... but occasionally I really regret it. Usually staying out late is not something I intentionally plan on -- like I errands may take longer than I anticipated, or we get carried away chatting & hanging out with friends and stay super late. I don't know how I feel about intentionally being out past bedtime, especially if it involves actually leaving the house around bedtime, and in fact am contemplating turning down a recent invite myself for mainly those reasons. DS doesn't nap or sleep in so it's not like he can catch up on sleep easily. But I also don't think being out late once in a while for a special occasion is THAT big of a deal.

Anyway, if you are pretty sure it will be a problem for your DD, don't do it! Your bedtime seems a bit early to me but I'm sure as parents of a toddler themselves, they would understand. Ask them to get together a earlier, or you could offer to host the dinner yourself: "Thanks for the invite, we'd love to get together with you but that's past DD's bedtime & she's a wreck if she gets to bed late! Would you mind coming here instead, so we can get her to bed on time & still hang out late into the night?"

You could also consider getting a sitter & leaving DD at home sleeping...

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#5 of 9 Old 04-28-2012, 08:11 PM
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I sometimes shift kids bedtimes for events and other times we just can not get home when a child obviously needs to go to bed. With 4 kids, and some older ones that are in sports and other activities, it get interesting some times! That baby and the 3 year are usually in bed by 7:30pm. With that, I would probably ask if they could move it up just a little, and if not try to see if the 3 year would take a nap that day and be able to stay up later.

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#6 of 9 Old 04-28-2012, 09:30 PM
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When see our friends for dinner, but when there are kids involved the dinners start at 4 or 5. That way we can socialize, the kids eat at the right time (5), and we leave a bit late but not crazy. Just ask your friends to move up the time so it is reasonable for you to attend. Feel free to eye roll about your schedule.

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#7 of 9 Old 04-29-2012, 09:16 AM
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I guess it depends on the child. My son is pretty used to go out past bedtime sometimes, on weekends and so. But where we live, everything happens later. Like, dinner is ussually at 9. My friends organize dinners a bit earlier when they know I bring kiddo along (otherwise they could dine at 10 pm) and ussually I feed him something at home so hes not super hungry and after dinner he crashes in a bed. Then I just carry him to the car and put him in bed at home. Might sound a bit crazy for people in other countries, but this is how its done here.


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#8 of 9 Old 04-29-2012, 09:24 AM
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We go out after bedtime all. the. time. My kiddos are pretty used to it. The only time they don't do well is if they haven't napped that day, but otherwise they are fine. They are social creatures and love to go out! I would just make sure that your dd has a super nap, so she'll be better equipped to stay up late.

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#9 of 9 Old 06-24-2012, 04:44 AM
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Their bedtime is so early that I can see it interfering with social activities a lot. When we know we are going to be out late, I have them nap, so they can handle the later bedtime. I bring their PJs and put them on them before we get in the car so they can fall asleep on the drive home.

My thing is that life needs to be flexible. We have a set bedtime (8/830) but we break it for various social activities. 10 pm isn't unheard of if we have people over or are at peoples house.
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