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Originally Posted by
Smokering
I should probably get on to telling her that; I've just hesitated because she is, ah, vocal and I could foresee embarrassing moments.
I'm hedging a bit on the conception thing though. I'm not really sure how to approach it, especially as she will undoubtedly say "Did you and Daddy...?" and probably find the idea so intriguing that she will want to tell Gran and her aunties all about it.
She's been thinking about it, though - a few times recently she's said "How did the baby get into your tummy?". The first time I wimped out and said "God put it there", which satisfied her; the second time I said the same thing, and she paused and said "Did you see God's hands?" The third time (she's a persistent little tyke) she wanted to know if God cut my tummy open to put the baby in, and I said "No, though the parts, just like he came out" and hastily changed the subject. Yeah, I kinda suck at this.
"mama!!!" Look at these huge papa-testicles on this pig!"
Shouted in the middle of the grocery store by my then 4yo daughter. She also has pointed out the penises on her animal toys to her grandmother. Yes, quite embarrassing for me.
For those reluctant to reluctant to dive into sex and conception, remember that you've had those eggs in your ovaries since before you were born. The eggs are in there. This is where I began my explanation. The baby doesn't "get in there", it grows in there mostly from what existed there to begin with. Mostly.
(This explanation is best for the really little ones. I wouldn't expect it to be enough for the ages my girls are at now.) Later--not much later, but later--come the questions of how the egg turns into the baby. Then comes the talk of sperm. The later--sometimes later, not always--comes the question of how the sperm gets in there.
I know this might make some of the more confident mamas groan, these little baby steps of explanation, but as a reluctant speaker (regarding sex), I have found it useful without being actually evasive and false. If I had more confidence from the beginning, I might have done a better job of explaining all that needed to be explained. But I had to work up to it. A lot of us do.
It's hard for some of us to get the words out. You might find it easier to start by using the words "womb" and "birth canal" when speaking of gestation and birth to get some better vocabulary, and then move on to the anatomical words that are more appropriate for every day. Start with "uterus". That one's easier. Once you can say that, start saying "vagina". You can still use "parts" for day-in-day-out conversations, but it's good to get comfortable with the vocabulary. Reading the book "Who Has What" aloud is a good start. I'm being pedantic; I'm sorry.
Recently my 7yo has been asking me if she has to have a baby. Of course, not, I say, if you don't want to. She knows this stuff now, but there's still a lot of mental connections that still need to be made. If I don't want to revisit the mama-and-daddy sex question, I fall back on what she knows best. "Will the eggs Buttercup lays become chicks?" "No." "Why?" "Because we don't have a rooster." "Right." I wait for the next question, but she seems to be satisfied. I've already talked to her about this, and I still don't want to revisit it unless she asks me too.
Once, during an episode of "Prehistoric Beasts", the australopithicus lie down to mate, and the image gets blurred. "What happened!" Followed by my explanation that humans like sex and mating to be private, and these are too close to people to be comfortable showing it.
Talking about sex and privates seems like an intrusion on that privacy to some of us. I say that so that we don't feel bad about feeling reluctant to talk. You are not a prude just because it is an effort to get the words out! Kids can also be taught that this is why we don't shout out anatomical words in the stores, or in front of grandma. Not that it helped us much.........