constant nonsense/potty talk between siblings - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 8 Old 06-10-2012, 07:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
Oliver's Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have a 2 year old and an almost 5 year old, and they are CONSTANTLY using nonsense words with some potty talk thrown in, and I know, I know, the key to end it is to ignore it, but I do ignore it, but they're getting the attention from eachother and they just feed eachother's fire.  It's getting to  point where they use more nonsense talk than real words, which I find troublesome especially for my 2 year old who had an amazing, rapidly expanding vocabulary.  They can't even say a sentence without throwing in something. I've tried the ignore it route, I've tried timeouts, but even if they're separated across the house in time-outs, then they yell nonsense across the house at eachother.  I'm a SAHM, so the lack of english language is driving me batty. we've cut back on time with friends/family because it's getting embarassing and sets a bad example for other kids. help!


Katie,  sahm to two wild and crazy guys banana.gif (8/07) and  bouncy.gif (3/10) and their sweet new baby sister baby.gif (4-1-13) 

Oliver's Mama is offline  
#2 of 8 Old 06-10-2012, 07:50 PM
 
Monkeygrrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 842
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Be real with them, have a convo about the behavior and how it's affecting their social calendar. How even though they think it's funny, Mama/Daddy/Grandma/Grandpa do not (and it's not polite), and they don't want to hear talk like that (or, whatever). 

 

Set up a chart system. For every morning/afternoon/evening they go without the behavior, they get a sticker. X amount of stickers gets them a prize. Do it for every 3 days (for about 2wks), then every 5 days (for about 3wks), then every 7 days, etc. Have a list of reasonable prizes that will fit your budget, but that they would be interested in earning, and let them pick something from the list each time they have earned something. Have them help choose some of the prizes, so they are invested in the behavior change.

 

 

Be firm. Be consistent.

 

"We aren't going to talk like that anymore." 

"Please use words everyone understands."

"That is not polite, please say it again."

"We cannot go to Johnny's house because you are not talking nicely today. Instead, we will sit quietly and read books." (Probably not for the extent of the supposed visit, but you get the idea.)

"Uh, oh. No sticker for this time. Let's try harder to get the next sticker."

 

It will take lots of reminders, and possibly lots of consequences, but if you remain consistent, then the behavior will change. 

 

Hope this helps.


Homeschooling Ama to boys (ages 10 and 6) and my SoldierGirl who is serving in the US Army, StepMom to three crazy teens. I'm married to the love of my life. 

 

Love is an action word. 

Words have power...use them wisely.

Who you are is just enough.

Molon Labe

Monkeygrrl is offline  
#3 of 8 Old 06-11-2012, 07:37 PM
 
Tjej's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: a beautiful place
Posts: 1,581
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

What worked for us was something I saw another mom do that I thought was BRILLIANT.  :)  Potty talk belongs in the bathroom.  So if my child wants to talk about pee/poop they need to go to the bathroom and try on the potty (or spend a few minutes in there anyway).  It works quite well.  They still do the occassional potty talk with one another, but it is not crazy over the top anymore.

Tjej is offline  
#4 of 8 Old 06-12-2012, 11:58 AM
 
tbone_kneegrabber's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: West Philly
Posts: 2,779
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Let them do it!!!!  Its normal, its typical, its fun!  It is actually a sign of creativity (what if I went back and told Dr. Seuss to stop using nonsense words).

 

I find it interesting when parents I know complain about potty talk because this is what I usually see:  from the moment a baby is born we are OBSESSED with their elimination cycle, have they peed have they pooped, they fart and we check their diaper, they fart and we laugh, they look strained and we say "oh are you pooping????" they cry and we say "uh oh are you wet? Did you pee? Do you need a change?"  Then they get a little older and we start talking about peeing and pooping NON STOP while potty learning "do you need to pee?"  "YOU PEED IN THE POTTY!" we call their grandparents and post on facebook when they finally poop in the potty!!!!  Every time they dance we inquire "do you need to go potty???" Then all of sudden.......

 

POTTY TALK IS BAD BAD BAD AND RUDE!!!!!  WHOA paradigm shift!  We just modeled for YEARS that potty talk was appropriate, that we do it in front of grandma, in front of strangers, at the store, at the table, everywhere all day long and then BAM!  No more potty talk!!!!!  It is hard to comprehend.

 

 

For nonsense words, if it is really bothering you and you can't get over it, then you just say, "Huh I don't know what a zizzer is.  Can you tell me another word for it?"
 

And there is the playful parenting approach to the words you don't like to hear, "You can talk about poop all you want as long as you don't say BANANA."  Then they say "banana" and you get over the top upset "oh no you said banana!!!  I can't believe it!  How could you???" etc and then they will continue to say "banana" or whatever word you substitute instead.  This approach works way faster than rewards and punishments (usually instantly).  Lather, rinse, repeat.

ihathi and pickle18 like this.
tbone_kneegrabber is offline  
#5 of 8 Old 06-12-2012, 12:34 PM
 
Angelorum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 2,057
Mentioned: 24 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

redface.gif Sometimes when I can't handle the constant toddler chatter because I've been with ds all day long, I'll put some music or a light book I've already listened to (so I don't have to pay too much attention) on my ipod.  I keep the volume low enough that I can still hear and respond to him, but it does help my patience a lot to have something else to listen to!
 


Mommy to DS1 July '09 and DS2 Oct '12
Angelorum is offline  
#6 of 8 Old 06-12-2012, 01:08 PM
 
ihathi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 249
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Hi Oliver's Mama,

 

I just wanted to let you know that, as the mother of a couple of boys who are also 3 years apart, I understand where you're at with this!  My boys are a couple years ahead of yours (4- and 7-years old now), but I totally remember a time when potty language was my little one's "in" with his big brother and his big brother's friends.  We didn't have as much of the nonsense talk, but-man-they were deep into potty-talking for a remarkably long time!  And I could swear this started before DS2 had even turned 2 yet...

 

Anyhow, I would echo the sentiment that you should focus on keeping yourself sane, but try not worry too much about the children's development.  It's interesting how nonsense talk can actually do a lot to develop children's understanding of grammar and the interesting ways language can be manipulated.  I work in a research lab that studies word-learning in children and it's simply a fact that a child can learn as much about a language's structure through nonsense talk (assuming it's more or less grammatically correct) as he would through "correct language."

 

At this time, I would definitely do everything you can to *not* cut out time with family/friends... It seems that that's an unfair consequence for you!  Also, I truly can't imagine that your kids could harm other kids by playing with language--if anything, playing with other kids will be just the thing to help them move on to their next "phase" (that will, most likely, driving you batty in other ways! smile.gif )

 

Kathy

ihathi is offline  
#7 of 8 Old 06-12-2012, 02:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
Oliver's Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber View Post

Let them do it!!!!  Its normal, its typical, its fun!  It is actually a sign of creativity (what if I went back and told Dr. Seuss to stop using nonsense words).

 

 

 

duh.gif  He-llo.... they've been listening to Dr. Seuss books on tape non-stop in the car lately.

 

Thanks for the responses. I guess I should just let it go and assume it'll pass at some point, like most of their annoying habits do!  I know I shouldn't let it bother me when they're around other kids, but I feel responsible when other parents start rolling their eyes and have to discipline their kids for imitating what my boys are doing. I think I almost feel more pressure to address the issues because others find it unacceptable, and I hate the thought of my kids being "those boys" that their kids are not allowed to play with.  I should get over that, too, I suppose.


Katie,  sahm to two wild and crazy guys banana.gif (8/07) and  bouncy.gif (3/10) and their sweet new baby sister baby.gif (4-1-13) 

Oliver's Mama is offline  
#8 of 8 Old 06-20-2012, 04:22 PM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,767
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 19 Post(s)

Oliver's Mama - my mom would have loved you. that is exactly how we drove her batty at that age. 

 

let me tell u dd is almost 10 now. while it has gone down a lot, its still present. however it has me in stitches because of the unique way she uses it in. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off