How would you? 3 day apart birthdays for brother & sister 4 yrs difference? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 10 Old 06-29-2012, 11:43 PM - Thread Starter
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It seems a bit early to be asking this, but I make everything by hand, so I usually work on both Christmas and birthdays during the year in advance.


My daughter will be turning 5 at her next birthday and her little brother will be turning 1. Their birthdays are three days apart. How do you handle different age/different sex kids' birthdays when there is an age difference? I know my son will only be one, but after this year, they'll probably have different friends, etc. Everyone tells me to just give them one party together but I feel like I'd be cheating each out of their special day and I also feel odd inviting friends who will probably feel as if they have to bring two presents to the party (one for each child) instead of just one. On the other hand, I'd feel strange inviting people to two different parties or just inviting them to one and having them wonder why they didn't get invited to both.


How do/would you mamas of many with close/same birthdays do it? And what about decorations? Do you just do unisex decor at the parties?

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#2 of 10 Old 06-30-2012, 06:36 AM
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The 1-year-old is a bit young to care about having friends over, but the 5-year-old is old enough to want a friend party. I would personally have one family party for both, and then have a separate little party with a few friends for the older one without any extended family. Eventually they'll both want friends over for parties. I've gone to parties where there was one party and there were friends for each kid there and it worked out fine really. We sang the birthday song twice. Sometimes there's a cake that is decorated half one way and half another way, but usually there are two smaller cakes, like one white and one chocolate so people can choose what kind they want. Kids bring a present for their friend but not the other sibling. Like, it isnt announced on the invitation that the party is for two kids, so you wouldn't think to bring two presents. We just get an invitation for the older child, and then we show up and see that some people are there for the younger child.
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#3 of 10 Old 06-30-2012, 10:01 AM
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I think when they are young, it makes more sense to have one party.  My kids bdays are a month apart (3 year age gap) and that is what I did when ds turned 1 and dd turned 4 for a "friend" party (really just a playdate with cupcakes!).  We did one big family party since my niece's bday is also right around that time.  I did celebrate separately at home (i.e. they each got to have a cake and blow out the candles on his/her exact bday). 


This year I did separate family parties, but again a combined friend party since we invited whole families, not just kids.  When they are older and it is just friends coming to the party (not parents and siblings) then I will do separate parties if they wish. 

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#4 of 10 Old 07-02-2012, 10:24 AM
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I have a friend in this situation, and she does them both in one day. Each child still picks a theme-- completely unrelated- whatever each child likes. They stagger the arrival times. 1 kid's friends and do their theme related games and activities. Then an hour later the other kid's friends with their games. Then the relatives. They do foods that people can pick on all afternoon. Works out well for them. They just let the early guests know that they can feel free to stay as long as they like.

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#5 of 10 Old 07-02-2012, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
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What a great idea, mkksmom! Thanks!

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#6 of 10 Old 07-02-2012, 12:32 PM
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My kids are 3 years and 11 months apart, and this year I had a combined party for them.  They are at a good age for it and loved sharing their party.


If their birthdays were closer like yours, I might consider having the earlier party 1-2 weeks before the birthday, and the later one 1-2 weeks later, so there is a gap between the parties.

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#7 of 10 Old 07-02-2012, 01:42 PM
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right now it wont be a problem for you. even next year it wont.


but once your son is 3 and your dd is 8 i think the age group, gender and likes dislikes might not be conducive to a 'one' party thing. 


my friend at that age did two parties for her dd's who were 4 years apart. for family they did one, but for friends they did 2. it was easier for her to do 3 birthday parties, rather than all of them in one day. 

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#8 of 10 Old 07-02-2012, 02:28 PM
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My kids are three years apart, different genders from each other, and we have always just done a party together. This year at ages 9 and 6 we thought about having separate parties, but the logistics of it were just a nightmare. One kids party might be cooler than the others, they have some friends in common they wanted to invite, etc., etc. So we kept on just doing one party for them to share.


One year the invitation was mentioned both kids (age 7 and 4), but it never occurred to me that people would bring gifts for both kids even if they didn't know both, until the gifts started showing up. Now I just make separate invitations for each kid and the families that the kids have in common just got two invites. 

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#9 of 10 Old 07-02-2012, 11:09 PM
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I think that as your kids get older, it will become more clear what will work for them.


My kids are only a year and a half apart and they are both girls, but they are VERY different people and would not enjoy the same kind of party. One of my mine loves a big party with every one she knows, the other enjoys a quiet evening with a close friend or two.


But it will be clearer when they are older. And  it will be OK. We've done different things different years because they are different as they get older. You don't have to figure this all out right now.

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#10 of 10 Old 07-03-2012, 02:23 PM
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I have two sets of birthdays, with each pair of kids about four years apart. Both are boy-girl. We always do one party. I'm all about birthdays and making it a special day for each kid, but we do that on their actual birthday (of course, we have a big family, so every day is a party!). Parties are too big of a deal for me, and my kids' birthdays are 1 and 2 days apart, so that would be way too much birthday party planning and executing for me! Also, part of me hates the gigantic buildup that comes with birthdays and christmas, some kids seem to spend more time upset that the day isn't "perfect" than they do enjoying the limelight! I like that the dual birthdays make it about sharing good times with friends and family, not about trying to make the day exactly as the birthday kid envisions it.

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