3 1/2 year old needs some boundaries - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 2 Old 07-22-2012, 09:34 PM - Thread Starter
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Is it just the age? I hope so..but I don't want to let him walk all over us. My DS is 3 1/2 and a very silly, crazy, hyper, sleepless little boy. If he wasn't so young, I'd say he's ADHD. His daddy is ADHD, so it's entirely possible. Anyway, he stalls and fights bedtime like crazy, to the point of crying, screaming and banging on our bedroom door. He always has the excuse of "I'm hungry, thirsty, need to go to the bathroom," you name it. I end up giving in and giving him some food before bed. Half the time he doesn't even eat it. I don't even know why I keep giving it to him. By 8:30, I'm ready for him to be in bed and have a little downtime myself, but he is rarely asleep before 9:30. We've gotten to where we have started giving him a small dose of melatonin to help him calm down. He just cannot settle himself. Constantly kicking, squirming and moving while laying in bed, even during story time and prayers. No amount of soft speaking, quiet stories, etc can calm him. He ends up falling asleep playing with an etch a sketch, or his v-reader(I fought this for a long time..using electronics for bedtime), and a cd playing music. It's like he needs stimulation to fall asleep. A quiet room after a quiet calming bedtime routine doesn't work for him, and really never has. So there's that, but also, at home when DH and I are trying to talk about something, he will just interrupt, and scream louder until we answer him. We keep trying to remind him to say excuse me if he wants to say something, and that saying it louder isn't going to help, etc, but no amount of reminding ever changes anything. He will sometimes end up in tears if we are talking and he's trying to say something but he is not getting a turn until we are done. It drives DH and I crazy. I am very anti-spanking, but DH has even gotten to where he's suggested it as it's the only thing we haven't tried, and I just cringe at the thought, and I will never do it, but him sort of ruling the roost isn't working either. We just need suggestions. Will he get through this as he gets older or is there something we should be doing to encourage his behaviour to change? It's also like pulling teeth getting him to help clean up his messes, help out around the house with simple chores. We have a chore chart and he has goals and prizes, and that helps, but I'd usually rather just do the chore myself instead of fighting him on it, but I know that won't teach him anything. Experienced mamas, thoughts?

DH(9/04) DS(12/08) and DD(5/11)

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#2 of 2 Old 07-23-2012, 06:09 AM
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Have you x-posted in the gentle discipline forum?  The members over there are amazing with this sort of advice too!

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