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#1 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A lot of moms don't like the pink princessy phase their dds go through but are you ok with the black clothing, skulls and crossbones or "rocker chic" phase that a lot of girls are interested in later? Does anyone not allow that kind of clothing in their homes? 

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#2 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:07 AM
 
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I think those phases would be happening like 10 years apart from eachother so it wouldn't really be either or. I mostly just don't want anything 'sexy'/revealing in our house (we are bikini-free, for example)


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#3 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:12 AM
 
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Since my kids wore camo pants and Thomas the tank engine shirts with etnies until they decided they liked all the other stuff, I don't care.  They're both girls. 

 

I don't allow short shorts or dresses without shorts ( these girls will hang upside down in a dress). 

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#4 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:17 AM
 
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#5 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:18 AM
 
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My kids can wear what they want as long as it isn't sexually revealing.  I want them to feel that they can be who they want and express themselves as who they are.  While skulls and crossbones aren't what I would choose for myself, I know that my kids may have different styles and opinions than me.  


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#6 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:25 AM
 
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I LOVE THOSE SHOES!!!!!

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#7 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think those phases would be happening like 10 years apart from eachother so it wouldn't really be either or. I mostly just don't want anything 'sexy'/revealing in our house (we are bikini-free, for example)

Yes they could be happening far apart. Thats why I said "later" as in years later :) But I don't know...I've heard lots of stories about how girls went from the pink phase obsession immediately to the darker "rock and skull" phase. Like one day they woke up and decided it was too babyish so they decided to go to the other extreme. I see lots of that skull and guitar clothing in 4-6x sizes displayed right next to the disney princess stuff! 

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#8 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:33 AM
 
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A lot of moms don't like the pink princessy phase their dds go through but are you ok with the black clothing, skulls and crossbones or "rocker chic" phase that a lot of girls are interested in later? Does anyone not allow that kind of clothing in their homes? I don't like either one but would much rather go with pink and girly if I had to choose! 

 

 

What's your issue with it?  I don't understand it honestly.  Do you consider it negative? 

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#9 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 11:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What's your issue with it?  I don't understand it honestly.  Do you consider it negative? 

Not negative exactly...kind of hard to describe on here. Skulls have always creeped me out, I don't like how they look on anything. I find it looks ugly and tacky on clothing. The rock star stuff just sends out this "hip, cool sexy" vibe to me. Again hard to explain properly. 

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#10 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 12:53 PM
 
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Not negative exactly...kind of hard to describe on here. Skulls have always creeped me out, I don't like how they look on anything. I find it looks ugly and tacky on clothing. The rock star stuff just sends out this "hip, cool sexy" vibe to me. Again hard to explain properly. 

Hi OP:  I think one of the things that I have to keep in mind is that except for stuff that sexualizes kids or is generally offensive or inappropriate (like stuff on t-shirts), I need to remember that my DD is an individual who will always be looking for ways to express herself, including the very real need of a lot of tweens and teens to feel "cool." 

 

I personally don't get a "sexy" vibe from cross bones.  I'm a big fan of Day of the Dead and I collect a lot of that stuff.  I was actually bummed when places like Children's Place started its skull campaign because it made me feel sort like mass-marketing had finally tread into my territory, my tastes. 

 

When I was in grade school and junior high in the '70s, I was not allowed to wear jeans to school because my dad (who was mired in a lot of old fashioned notions about fashion) would "never let his kid be seen in public with dungarees!"  I laugh about it now, but when I was a teen, it really bummed me out that my parents disapproved so much of my desire to either fit in (or as I got older - to stand out or be different).  It was a constant source of friction and I think that our time would have been better served on other things besides fashion issues.  I rebelled against them eventually and in more ways than one. 

 

A sense of self-respect, (and for me, a certain degree of modesty), as well as confidence, is far more important than the style or the genre.  I can't help of thinking of the Winona Ryder character in the movie Beetlejuice.  Now there was a kid with a distinct fashion sense!  Yet, she was a good kid, a thoughtful kid, a little weird...but that's okay. 

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#11 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 01:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I personally don't get a "sexy" vibe from cross bones. 

 

LOL thanks for the laugh! I didn't say I got a sexy vibe from crossbones ROTFLMAO.gif

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#12 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 01:14 PM
 
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I personally don't get a "sexy" vibe from cross bones. 

 

LOL thanks for the laugh! I didn't say I got a sexy vibe from crossbones ROTFLMAO.gif

Whoops, my bad.  But, we all do have different interpretations of things, no?  I brought up the skull issue because I'm a big fan of skull images (but for reasons other than fashion). 

 

But I'll stand by the jist of my post:  parents aren't always going to like the fashions of their kids' times.  It's a given.  Nothing new.  I just find that self-respect is far more important than squabbles over stuff like current trends.  I hate pink but my DD definitely went through a pink and tutu phase, much to my chagrin.  But if that made her feel confident, then I just had to grit my teeth.  I draw the line only at things which I believe overtly sexualize little kids or cause unnecessary restrictions on natural play (yes, talking to you Target and the high heels for 5-year-olds that you marketed at the beginning of the summer).  But that's just me.  That's where I personally draw the line. 


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#13 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 01:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Really? You just gotta have an issue with me no matter what I say I guess! 

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#14 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 01:15 PM
 
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I usually wear skull and spider earrings, and we have some Day of the Dead stuff up in our house. DDs are in a Spanish program, so they celebrate this holiday, plus my culture has a similar holiday, so I find nothing creepy about it. That said, one DD did have a major pink phase, but we just rolled with it, and it passed. She is still in a "cute puppy/kitten" phase, but that's her personality. The other one is more into a hippy/funky-type phase with a dose of purple hair. Most hair and clothes stuff is OK with me. The only minor arguments come when they need to dress slightly more formally/"nicely" for an event - neither one likes that. Neither of them has been interested in revealing clothes, so that hasn't been an issue yet.
 


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#15 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 01:18 PM
 
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I don't have a problem with my daughter wearing any type or genre of clothing, style at all.  I might personally not wear some of it, but I want her to figure her own style out and be herself.  She happens to wear a really cool mix of different styles and her own set of "rules".  Like, she is ok with a little pink, but not super girly.  She likes flowers, but again, not if it's too little girlish.  She layers different prints and colors, she MUST wear shorts under skirts and dresses, every time. lol (I've tried to get her to ease up on this a bit, especially if we are not going to be anywhere with a playground or something and we are running late and her shorts are not clean, but to no avail.)  She's very distinctive, and this may just be what she would be like no matter what, but I'd like to think that a part of her "okayness" with being herself and claiming her own style is that I've let her figure it out without censure.

I will say that so far, she's been pretty immune to peer pressure with clothing.  She has her criteria to meet, like comfort and her own taste and that is pretty much all she cares about. (She has, however, gotten a lot of flack from her father when she goes to his house and it just crushes her.  He hates the way she dresses and makes arbitrary rules like no yoga pants to the grocery store.  She worries about what clothes she wears there so he won't say anything bad to her)

 

My only rules have been making sure  (and this is for all my kids) they have weather appropriate clothes, and nothing too darn revealing, and the clothing I buy needs to be well made. My guidelines on modesty might be a less strict than others though, I'm ok with two piece bathing suits, shorter shorts, etc.

 

Incidentally, I really hate all the Hannah Montana style clothing, I understand where you are coming from on that.  But I try to bite my tongue and let her figure it out.  I have always loved skulls though, and so does she. ;-) 

 

(I'm also cracking up at her internally a lot right now, she's recently read a series about middle school aged vampires.  the vamps in the town are called Goths and dress in black and stuff but are really harmless.  She's now "into goth" and likes the cutesy skullys and stuff. "omg mom, isn't this so goth? " Snicker)

 

Sorry, one more thing.  I grew up in a very conservative christian household.  My mom had a similar way with me that I'm taking with my daughter and I was so thankful.  She got a lot of flack from her friends and people in the church because I would wear all black with combat boots, but she always said "seriously?  If I can let her have freedoms with as much as possible and this is the worst we deal with?  I'm ok." .  I went through a lot of fashion phases but never to rebel, because there wasn't anything to rebel against.


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#16 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 01:41 PM
 
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I'm glad to see this thread, b/c it's a good reminder that I'll need to be choosing my battles wisely. I personally don't like the skull/crossbones stuff -- it creeps me out and is kinda gruesome, IMO. Like why would I want an image of the remains of a decomposed corpse on my clothes? And my first reaction to the OP was, I'd never let my kids wear that stuff. But after reading the responses here, I know I'll probably have to let it go. It's a trend/fad, and it's not like it's extremely violent or graphic in nature. Thankfully, my son is still into fire trucks on his clothes, but I know that will be ending shortly... Thanks for the perspective!

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#17 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 02:09 PM
 
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 Don't care.

 

Though I don't care about characters or princesses either.
 

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#18 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 03:18 PM
 
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I would only be bothered by it if my daughter (or son) wanted to change their physical appearance to much. I would have a hard time with the goth look of dyed black hair or facial piercings in extreme or anything that is perminit. I would try and find a middle ground that would allow them to express themselves without destroying their natural beauty.
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#19 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 04:02 PM
 
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Really? You just gotta have an issue with me no matter what I say I guess! 

Look, the only thing that you responded to me in my post above was a "LOL".  It speaks volumes, OP.  You attack me for a mistake but you don't address the meaning and intent of my post.  Enough said.  Been there, done that, don't want to offer any other advice.  I see what I'm dealing with here.


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#20 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Look, the only thing that you responded to me in my post above was a "LOL".  It speaks volumes, OP.  You attack me for a mistake but you don't address the meaning and intent of my post.  Enough said.  Been there, done that, don't want to offer any other advice.  I see what I'm dealing with here.

What???? I'm so confused!! Wasn't talking to you sweetie! Look who I'm quoting, its not you! Didn't take any offense to what you said at all! 

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#21 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 04:31 PM
 
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Wasn't talking to you sweetie! Look who I'm quoting, its not you! Didn't take any offense to what you said at all! The girl was mocking me from another post. 

Okay.  But I'm not sweetie!  (reference to Mark Wahlberg in the film "The Shooter") "I'm not your son."  Sorry, couldn't resist!

 

OP:  Stop.  People here are giving their honest-to-god opinions on what is important to them.  Believe me, there's a lot of snark at MDC even in the most hilarious and intelligent forms.  Confession:  I've been following your posts for a couple of days and they are always about pop culture stuff.  People respond because they have differing views and I must admit, MDC is full of people who like to go against the grain.  That's primarily why I am here.  Pop culture irritates me too, but there are many different factors that contribute to that irritation.  My irritation resides more in the universe that corporations are telling us what to like...I mean...that is their bottom line.

 

In the same breath, I also recognize that I'm old, DD is young, and there are still certain things that "matter" to young people.  I try to reign in the stuff that is offensive to me whilst letting DD be part of her times, be who she is given that she is living in 2012.  It's a fine balance.  I think it is easy to slip into ideals when we are parents.  It is easy to say "never in my house!"  That's good and cool or whatever, but the reality is, the kids that you have are human beings with their own identities, wants, needs.  The goal, for me at least, is to get her to the point of an independent, confident and happy adult.  There are many ways to achieve this.  


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#22 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 04:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay.  But I'm not sweetie!  (reference to Mark Wahlberg in the film "The Shooter") "I'm not your son."  Sorry, couldn't resist!

 

OP:  Stop.  People here are giving their honest-to-god opinions on what is important to them.  Believe me, there's a lot of snark at MDC even in the most hilarious and intelligent forms.  Confession:  I've been following your posts for a couple of days and they are always about pop culture stuff.  People respond because they have differing views and I must admit, MDC is full of people who like to go against the grain.  That's primarily why I am here.  Pop culture irritates me too, but there are many different factors that contribute to that irritation.  My irritation resides more in the universe that corporations are telling us what to like...I mean...that is their bottom line.

 

In the same breath, I also recognize that I'm old, DD is young, and there are still certain things that "matter" to young people.  I try to reign in the stuff that is offensive to me whilst letting DD be part of her times, be who she is given that she is living in 2012.  It's a fine balance.  I think it is easy to slip into ideals when we are parents.  It is easy to say "never in my house!"  That's good and cool or whatever, but the reality is, the kids that you have are human beings with their own identities, wants, needs.  The goal, for me at least, is to get her to the point of an independent, confident and happy adult.  There are many ways to achieve this.  

That's all good and true, again no offense taken to anything you or most people have said. But the person I was quoting has been bullying me and was forced to censor her remarks on another post so its not me making something out of nothing! People say I'm too judgmental, I've gone back and changed all my posts to not sound that way. I am doing everything I can to make things go smoothly and I'm still being attacked for being sweet?? I mean, come on! I'm not the only one to blame here or the only one who needs to stop. Anyway, moving on, lets stick to the topic at hand now, please no more miscommunication peeps! smile.gif

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#23 of 35 Old 07-26-2012, 04:38 PM
 
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That's all good and true, again no offense taken to anything you or most people have said. But the person I was quoting has been bullying me and was forced to censor her remarks so its not me making something out of nothing! People say I'm too judgmental, I've gone back and changed all my posts to not sound that way. I am doing everything I can to make things go smoothly. So I'm not the only one that needs to stop. Anyway, moving on, lets stick to the topic at hand now, please no more miscommunication peeps! smile.gif

Fantastic!  So let's move on.  Welcome to MDC!thumb.gif


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#24 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 09:06 AM
 
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momma2beaugirls- can I ask an honest question?  I'm truly not trying to attack you or anything, but I'm very curious.  You joined just a few days ago and have had a TON of posts about modern/current toys and stuff.  Why are you seemingly so obsessed about it all?  It seems like you haven't really tried to get into the scope of MDC, and are narrowing in your focus on hating on anything current or modern designed for kids.

 

I know that plenty of people have issues with kids marketing today, I happen to agree on some of it, but it does send up red flags in a community.

 

I'm not using the T word, but that's what it ends up looking like.  I am saying this not to be accusatory, I want to assume you come from an authentic place, and help you understand some of the backlash you are getting. 
 

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#25 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 09:33 AM
 
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[edited per admin request]. 
 

I've noticed and assumed the same.

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#26 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 09:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am authentic, don't know what the t word is. Just a typical mom, passionate about certain things. I haven't explored the whole site, haven't had the time and just started out where I wanted to hear some opinions. Would like to stick to the topic at hand please. I won't post anymore about this kind of stuff since it bothers you all so much. I am sad that everyone is taking it the wrong way when I am honestly just trying to discuss stuff. I guess I don't really know how these kinds of sites work. 

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#27 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 09:45 AM
 
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Hum. Just another normal mom who starts 37 new threads in seven days all of which are related to values-based culture questions? That seems provocative.

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#28 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 09:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hum. Just another normal mom who starts 37 new threads in seven days all of which are related to values-based culture questions? That seems provocative.

You know I wish I could delete them but I can't. What more can I do? Not all of them were about that but no one has replied to the ones that aren't. Again I'm sorry if those questions bothered you, what more can I do? I said I wouldn't post anymore. Obviously no one is going to forget me and will continue to attack me no matter what I say. Bottom line: I've been reading posts for a while before joining. I saw lots of stuff about anti plastic toys, barbie, media, tv, etc so I thought I my posts would fit in. Sorry for being so excited. Really this is starting to feel like bullying. 

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#29 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 10:04 AM
 
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To the posters who are making accusations and personal attacks (and you know who you are! winky.gif), please remove or edit your posts.  The OP has not posted any UAVs.  If you are uncomfortable with a particular poster, do not respond to their threads, put them on ignore, or walk away.  Discussing the OP and not the topic at hand will lead to alerts and removal of access to this thread.  Thanks for your cooperation! 


 
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#30 of 35 Old 07-27-2012, 09:01 PM
 
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You know I wish I could delete them but I can't. What more can I do? Not all of them were about that but no one has replied to the ones that aren't. Again I'm sorry if those questions bothered you, what more can I do? I said I wouldn't post anymore. Obviously no one is going to forget me and will continue to attack me no matter what I say. Bottom line: I've been reading posts for a while before joining. I saw lots of stuff about anti plastic toys, barbie, media, tv, etc so I thought I my posts would fit in. Sorry for being so excited. Really this is starting to feel like bullying. 

 

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To the posters who are making accusations and personal attacks (and you know who you are! winky.gif), please remove or edit your posts.  The OP has not posted any UAVs.  If you are uncomfortable with a particular poster, do not respond to their threads, put them on ignore, or walk away.  Discussing the OP and not the topic at hand will lead to alerts and removal of access to this thread.  Thanks for your cooperation! 

 

 

I agree!! 

 

momma2beaugirls, youve handled the negativity ALOT better than I ever could or better than most here. Ive seen your responses, and their classy and you seem unfazed, FANTASTIC!!thumb.gif


A Toronto born young mama blowkiss.giffreshly moved for a new adventure in ALBERTA! with Superdaddy superhero.gifand her intact and vax free, breastfed and babyworn Aug09 babenono02.gif attending college for early childhood educationwhale.gif   and being blessed with #2 just in time for Valentines Dayheartbeat.gif pos.gif

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