How to get DD drink milk or eat dairy products? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 02:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 5 year old DD hates dairy products. I checked with her doctor and she doesn't have any digestive problem. I have been trying many different products and brand names but she still doesn't like any.

For milk, I end up buying Horizon 2% with omega-3, and always have to feed her.

She is a very slow and kind of picky eater, but I'm okay with that. If she just takes a few bites and refuses to eat, I let her go because I know she will eat more later. But I always requires her to drink 1 8oz cup of milk and 1 piece of cheese/yogurt so that she will have enough calcium. She always refuses, then end up drinking but takes 1 hour to finish a cup of milk.

Because of this, I can't bring milk to her school (she studies full day). At breakfast, she likes to eat cereal but without milk, also we don't have enough time in the morning to do so, so she has to both drink and eat cheese after school (6pm).

At this age, I hate to have to feed her. I usually show the clock and reward if she finishes within 30 minutes. I tell her "if you finish when the minute hand points at number 6, you can play your favorite game". But still, I always have to remind her "it points at 3, 4, or 5 already...." because she always plays and takes a sip, then plays, and takes a break after finishing a half.

........................I'm struggling with this everyday. I talk to her a lot that everybody needs to drink milk to have enough calcium so that you can grow up, do many things like mommy and daddy...

What should I do?

Thanks.

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#2 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 02:54 PM
 
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I think you should find another way for her to get calcium.  There are plenty of sources (leafy green veggies, shrimp and some fish, seeds and nuts), and a quick google search will give you a huge list.  Your daughter doesn't like dairy, and respecting that will give her some control and help her have a healthy relationship with food.
 

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#3 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 02:54 PM
 
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What about giving her a calcium supplement? It sounds a lot less stressful than trying to get her to eat something she dislikes and encouraging her to push through those feelings. Dairy products aren't the best source of calcium anyhow.
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#4 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:00 PM
 
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I didn't like drinking milk as a kid either.  Does she like yogurt or orange juice?  Yogurt has lots of calcium.  They make calcium-fortified orange juices that have more calcium than milk.  Soymilk and almond milk are also good sources.  I found this website with info on how much calcium is in different foods.  Good luck!

http://www.nichd.nih.gov/milk/prob/calcium_sources.cfm




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#5 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:11 PM
 
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Ds doesn't drink milk. I didn't drink milk as a kid. I never liked it. I do like almond milk now do does ds.

Smoothies made with yogurt
Calcium chewy vitamin
Leafy green vegetables
Fortified oj

All are great ways to get calcium if you are really concerned about it.

As long as she is eating a variety of healthy foods I wouldn't worry about making here drink milk.

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#6 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@ pokeyAC: Sadly, she doesn't like yogurt either, she doesn't like any dairy products.

@ APToddlerMama and crayfishgirl,  tbone_kneegrabber:

It's not easy to find supplements. A cup of milk provides 30% of calcium intake for a day and a piece of cheese 20%. Other food should provide the other 50% to get enough 100%. But Vitamin gives only 10%. Other food like veggies give only 2 or 5%, fishes or shrimps give more but we can only eat once a day, not everyday.

If she doesn't drink milk, I even feel more tired because I have to think what food she should eat to provide enough calcium. Also, she is a picky eater, she only eats a few bites here and there.
 

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#7 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:26 PM
 
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@ pokeyAC: Sadly, she doesn't like yogurt either, she doesn't like any dairy products.

@ APToddlerMama and crayfishgirl,  tbone_kneegrabber:

It's not easy to find supplements. A cup of milk provides 30% of calcium intake for a day and a piece of cheese 20%. Other food should provide the other 50% to get enough 100%. But Vitamin gives only 10%. Other food like veggies give only 2 or 5%, fishes or shrimps give more but we can only eat once a day, not everyday.

If she doesn't drink milk, I even feel more tired because I have to think what food she should eat to provide enough calcium. Also, she is a picky eater.
 

That is true , but you are forcing her to eat it now anyway and I think , you said she is fighting you for every bite .

So , maybe it´s better and she gets more out of it , if she happily eats another source of calcium , whether it is fortified orange juice or something else , than to eventually refuse it altogether .

I mean , it´s not like you can shove it down her throat .

Plus , the other problem is , something like this can easily turn into a power struggle between the two of you and you said , it´s wearing you out , to constantly remind her of eating this and drinking that .  

Maybe try to take a break from it , even if it´s ( understandlably ) hard on your part , we all want our kids to do , what we know is best for them , but if she doesn´t feel " forced " anymore , she may be willing to try more things on her own and at her own pace 


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#8 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:35 PM
 
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Does she like orange juice?  I also saw that the Total cereals have lots of calcium, 100%.




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#9 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:40 PM
 
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My 4 yr old doesn't drink milk or much yogurt or cheese.  But he eats the heck out of broccoli and that's good enough for me.  He will also eat fruit smoothies.  I don't drink milk either.  I really wouldn't push it and would just make sure the rest of her diet incorporates calcium in some fashion.

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#10 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 03:55 PM
 
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I avoid calcium supplements!! Calcium carbonate was not well tested before being widely used. Now it's being replaced with new sources -- and how well tested are they?

Food has been tested for thousands of years. Broccoli and others from the cabbage family, greens (including iceberg lettuce, so she'll get some extra water), sesame seeds (1t = 8oz milk), soy (if tolerated), parsley and red raspberry leaf.

The great thing about greens is they contain the boron and omega-3 needed for bone growth!!!
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#11 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 04:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you guys, I feel much better with your answers.

May I have another question? At my DD's age (5 years), how much milk do your kids drink at a time, with an empty stomach?

Right before typing here, I just finished a cup of milk and I'm full. I feel guilty because a 8oz cup may be too much for her, it's so full for her little stomach, that's why she is so scared of drinking milk?

But I wonder why lunches for kids at school always have milk? How can they eat food and drink milk altogether?

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#12 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 05:01 PM
 
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I would back off the milk. Vegan kids and kids with dairy allergies are able to get enough calcium. It is possible. Sesame seeds are a good source, tahini, blackstrap molasses, oranges, celery, Brazil nuts. You could talk to moms of vegan and milk-allergic kids and get some good suggestions.

One of my kids hated (and still hates) cow's milk and the pediatrician said to relax about it. She hasn't had a drop of cow's milk in her life. Is your pediatrician concerned about this? I think the counting of how many ounces she's having might not be necessary. I would talk to the pediatrician about it anyway. I think it could teach your dd to obsess about food more than she should.

Edited to add:: I realize I misspoke. My dd must have had a drop here and there or she wouldn't have known she didn't like it! orngbiggrin.gif LOL. Anyway, she's had very very little.
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#13 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 06:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jessica1501 View Post

@ pokeyAC: Sadly, she doesn't like yogurt either, she doesn't like any dairy products.

@ APToddlerMama and crayfishgirl,  tbone_kneegrabber:

It's not easy to find supplements. A cup of milk provides 30% of calcium intake for a day and a piece of cheese 20%. Other food should provide the other 50% to get enough 100%. But Vitamin gives only 10%. Other food like veggies give only 2 or 5%, fishes or shrimps give more but we can only eat once a day, not everyday.

If she doesn't drink milk, I even feel more tired because I have to think what food she should eat to provide enough calcium. Also, she is a picky eater, she only eats a few bites here and there.
 


Ds takes the 'lil critters calcium and vitamin d' gummy bears. 2 = a glass of milk in calcium. They taste just like gummy bears. He considers them an after dinner treat.

The best advice I ever got about kids and food was to look at what the kid ate over the course of a MONTH and then decide whether they needed to eat differently.

I think an 8 oz glass of milk is a lot to expect a little kid to drink especially if they don't like it! I don't know if I know any kids irl that drink dairy milk even daily.
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#14 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 08:21 PM
 
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I can't stand milk, it makes me gag. Not just the taste, either, I have problems with the texture. Milk and dairy is not required for good nutrition, otherwise vegan children would not thrive. I would never force a child to eat like that. It's stressful for her, too. Maybe back off and try other sources and once the stress is off her, she'll become interested in milk and cheese. Obsessing like this only teaches her bad habits.
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#15 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 09:16 PM
 
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She doesn't need dairy products to get enough calcium. There are many other dietary sources. I see no reason to force the issue, especially if she won't drink milk willingly. 

 

Personally, I think Horizon milk is pretty awful. It is the worse "organic" dairy and there is a lot of reason that shows that the omega 3s they use are junk. Eggs with omega 3 diet are much more bioavailable if you want an animal source. It is almost always UHT which further destroys taste and nutritious.

 

My kids drink some milk after weaning and eat dairy products but never with meals because I would rather eat more nutritious food and water. Milk is filling and a lot of kids with poor quality diets are also heavy milk drinkers. And I only serve good quality local organic dairy that is gently pasteurized. Grass fed when I can get it. 

 
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#16 of 46 Old 08-10-2012, 09:19 PM
 
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Many nondairy milks (soy, almond, rice) have calcium. Also, orange juice is often fortified with calcium. Or supplements are available. And many dark green leafy veggies are high in calcium too.
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#17 of 46 Old 08-11-2012, 03:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Jessica1501 View Post

Thank you guys, I feel much better with your answers.

May I have another question? At my DD's age (5 years), how much milk do your kids drink at a time, with an empty stomach?

Right before typing here, I just finished a cup of milk and I'm full. I feel guilty because a 8oz cup may be too much for her, it's so full for her little stomach, that's why she is so scared of drinking milk?

But I wonder why lunches for kids at school always have milk? How can they eat food and drink milk altogether?

MAYBE ( and this just a suggestion ) she seems " picky " because she is so full from the milk , that she can´t eat anymore . 

The other thing is , I really like milk , the taste , the texture , everything , BUT... I also have a very sensitive stomach and if somebody would make me ( a 6 ft tall adult ) drink a whole glass of milk on an empty stomach , I would feel so sick , there is no way , I could eat ANYTHING else !

If at 5 , she has a small , child-size cup , that should be more than enough for her size and it would probably fill her up quite well , too  

The other thing , I forgot , is that from a nutritional point of view , it is actually not a good idea to drink milk or eat dairy products with iron-rich foods , since the calcium in the milk blocks the absorption of iron in the body .

I think , the reason , they have school milk , may be ( at least where I am from ) that they want to ensure that even kids from not-so-fortunate families at least get milk in school . 


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#18 of 46 Old 08-11-2012, 06:00 AM
 
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I can't drink milk either, it makes me gag, partly because my mom forced me to drink milk when I was little.

 

I would keep offering, but not insisting.

My dk love milk, each drinks about 3 cups daily; I only offer it with meals. Some days they don't want to drink milk. It's fine either way.
 


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#19 of 46 Old 08-11-2012, 09:08 PM
 
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My 2 oldest kids drink anywhere from 4-8oz of milk a day.  The youngest doesn't drink any but will occasionally drink about 3-4 oz of vanilla almond milk maybe 2-3 times a week.


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#20 of 46 Old 08-12-2012, 12:32 AM
 
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i think drinking milk and the 30% calcium is the milk industry trying to make money. do you know that most of the bones problems are in countries that do drink a lot of milk?

 

i really dont think milk is a good source of calcium. 

 

 

Leafy green vegetables Broccoli, kale, spinach
Fruits Oranges
Beans and peas Tofu, peanuts, peas, black beans, baked beans
Fish Salmon, sardines
Miscellaneous Sesame seeds, blackstrap molasses, corn tortillas, almonds, brown sugar

 

dd has never really enjoyed milk. she rarely drinks it. i have never really watched what dd takes in food wise. i just make sure she eats a healthy diet with a variety of food. in other words i've not really worried about calcium - but then again she did a lot of oranges/tangerines (not the juice) and a lot of greens too. she loves kale and can eat a tonne of it. even at 2. 

 

another thing that i remember from my own childhood - i could not drink milk on an empty stomach. two things would happen. if i could drink it on an empty stomach i could maybe drink a couple of ounces and then feel nauseaus. or i would immediately get a stomach ache after 3 or 4 sips of milk. to this day i can never wake up and drink milk. a big no no. 

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#21 of 46 Old 08-12-2012, 06:34 AM
 
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I think what you're trying to do is a good thing (help your child be healthy) but want you are inadvertantly doing is teaching your child not to listen to her body.  Years ago, my second child wanted peanut butter but wouldn't touch it once it was in front of him.  I trust his body to say no to things even if his mind is saying yes. 

 

Picky eating is a classic sign of food issues.  There is a yahoo group called foodlab that was very helpful to me when I first discovered dairy was an issue for my oldest.  I'm still on it & it has been very helpful throughout the years.  There are many, many on there who do not consume dairy.  You said your/her dr. said she doesn't have a problem w/ milk.  I wonder how he/she knows?  That person is w/ your child, what, 15 minutes out of months, if that?  Additionally, drs can be swayed by the "research" (what the dairy council spits out) as much as the next person.  

 

The dairy council pays 100s of millions of dollars on ad campaigns designed to get us to buy more diary.  They don't have an income if we stop buying dairy.

 

Mark Bittman recently wrote a couple of articles on dairy for the New York Times.  I don't have links but if you go to NYT, & searched for him and/or dairy, I bet you'd get it quickly.  

 

My children haven't drank dairy since my oldest was 1.5 years old & an only child (I know have three - days away from 10, 7 & 3).  We get our calcium from the sources humans were meant to get it from.  Humans weren't designed to drink the milk of other mammals, no matter what the dairy council says.  What other mammals drink the milk of other species of mammals?  

 

My midwife was just telling me a couple of weeks ago that she no longer recommends mothers take a calcium supplement & that the recommendations no longer say to supplement.  She recommends food sources, whether that includes diary for individuals or not.  

 

Now, in our case, I don't believe our systems are healthy & that we aren't absorbing all the nutrients we get via food (because of candida overgrowth & leaky guy) but that doens't mean we need dairy.  It means we need to heal our guts (not a simple task, unfortunately).

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#22 of 46 Old 08-12-2012, 07:40 AM
 
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I love milk and drink it every day. I often drank 500 mL in a day when pregnant, sometimes in one sitting. YUM.

 

There are a couple of things going on here. One is that you may be right: you are probably making her drink too much at once! 8 ounces is quite a lot of liquid for a kid with a small stomach. Perhaps offer milk in little cup-size portions. Ditto with the cheese! Are you trying to get her to eat her whole daily requirement of cheese just plain, in a big hunk? That might not be appetizing! Try it grated and melted on things like homemade pizza, or put a slice or two in a sandwich, or something. It's okay to get your dairy requirement in little bits through the day. Also, you can use milk or yogurt in baking and that counts, too! Yogurt in pancakes? Cheesy cornbread? That counts!

 

Next: maybe she doesn't like the brand of milk or cheese that you're getting. Do you drink the same kind, and do you like the taste?

 

Next, she could be sensitive to milk. Perhaps you are not, but does her father drink milk or enjoy dairy, or is he a bit sensitive to it? Ask him if anyone in his family is sensitive to dairy products. That may give you a clue to your daughter's genetics.

 

If she really hates it, don't push it, because you'll just make her hate it more. Drink calcium fortified orange juice and perhaps try soy milk or sneaking milk into dishes without making her drink it directly.

 

Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

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#23 of 46 Old 08-12-2012, 09:48 AM
 
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You said your/her dr. said she doesn't have a problem w/ milk.  I wonder how he/she knows?  

good point here. i wanted to share this with you OP. the docs did an allergy test and found nothing wrong with dd. 

 

she isnt allergic to milk/milk products or gluten - but she is definitely sensitive to them. if she drinks/eats too much of it (which could be a little everyday so the buildup) she gets tummy aches. pure raw milk she doesnt have a problem to at all.  she was much more sensitive to citrus - esp. lemon and lime (nothing of course showed up in her allergy reports) when she was younger as she would always get hives after drinking lemonade or OJ. eating was fine or a little bit was fine. but not a lot. 

 

i fully agree. if your child is absolutely refusing - then there is something to it. 


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#24 of 46 Old 08-12-2012, 03:16 PM
 
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good point here. i wanted to share this with you OP. the docs did an allergy test and found nothing wrong with dd. 

 

she isnt allergic to milk/milk products or gluten - but she is definitely sensitive to them. if she drinks/eats too much of it (which could be a little everyday so the buildup) she gets tummy aches. pure raw milk she doesnt have a problem to at all.  she was much more sensitive to citrus - esp. lemon and lime (nothing of course showed up in her allergy reports) when she was younger as she would always get hives after drinking lemonade or OJ. eating was fine or a little bit was fine. but not a lot. 

 

i fully agree. if your child is absolutely refusing - then there is something to it. 

Oh yes , absolutely ! When my brother was small , he never wanted to eat apples or carrots and everybody always forced it into him , because they said , it is healthy ( which is true ) , but now that he is an adult , we actually found out that his body cannot digest it well , due to his ulcerated colitis .

He has no allergy to it per se , but his body not being able to digest it properly always gave him and still gives him gas and makes his stomach hurt . 

What I am trying to say , is just because an allergy test turns out fine , does NOT mean , that she is not sensitive to it anyway , plus milk is not exactly the mildest food around , so drinking a whole glass full , considering her size , is probably like an adult drinking 2 gallons in one setting 


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#25 of 46 Old 08-16-2012, 02:37 AM
 
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Hi there,

 

Our family doesn't like milk either, though we do love other diary products but because they're unhealthy we try to replace them with vegan products. 

 

For instance we use soy, almond and rice milk which my daughter loves and we buy tofu and soy yogurt.


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#26 of 46 Old 08-16-2012, 05:10 PM
 
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Have you tried warm beverages, like hot chocolate. My DD likes hot chocolate (I add very little mix, like 1 tsp and top it off with half a cup of milk) and warm milk, but she wont drink it cold. Chai tea is yummy and you can make that with mostly milk. 


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#27 of 46 Old 08-23-2012, 03:50 PM
 
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Dairy is a food I would never force on anyone.  I really don't think it is necessary for a healthy diet, and I believe that it can be detrimental to health, especially in large quantities.  The dairy industry and its economic power is the sole reason we have been told that milk is the best (and only as far as many are concerned) source of calcium.  Feed her calcium rich foods, if you're worried about it, and let her choose which healthy foods she wants to eat.

 

Sea vegetables are a great source of calcium.  I cook our beans with seaweed -- it cooks away to nothing, you'd never know it's there and it's a great way to get calcium.

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#28 of 46 Old 08-24-2012, 03:58 PM
 
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I think you can stop making her have milk and dairy products. I'd tell her, "I know you don't like milk or cheese and I'm sorry I tried to make you have them. I won't do that any more." Because look, fortified orange juice, soy milk, rice milk, all have the exact same amount of calcium as milk. Tofu has more calcium than milk cup-per-cup. Many people do not drink milk or any dairy. It is not important for good health. http://www.fitsugar.com/How-Much-Calcium-182622

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#29 of 46 Old 08-31-2012, 02:29 PM
 
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I agree with some other PPs. Dairy products are actually a very poor source of calcium. They are packed with calcium but we, as humans, absorb less than 10% of the original calcium in the product.  

 

If your'e only asking her to eat dairy products for calcium, I would suggest finding better sources for absorption (green leafies, bony fish, almonds, etc.) and not stress about it.  

 

Regardless of whether or not she has a sensitivity to dairy products, they are highly congestive and inflammatory within our systems anyhow.  In the long run, we're all better off without dairy.

 

Just my opinion, for what it's worth.  It becomes one of those "pick your battles" issues with your child.  :)  

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#30 of 46 Old 08-31-2012, 07:24 PM
 
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I am late to the conversation but I wanted to add that I hated milk and dragged milk drinking on into long sessions my whole childhood until I discovered whole milk at school. I still hated it and wouldn't drink it at home because we for 1% or 2% at most but I still drink whole milk to this day. If milk is just going to be too much of a struggle you might consider a bread with calcium added (most white bread has calcium in addition to the other vitamins added to it) or toaster waffles.
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