I'm at a loss of what to do about my DSS who turns 7 next week. (Obviously it's his parents' choice what to "do" with him, but I'm just looking for advice to pass on.) He's quite bright, an excellent reader and very active (loves sports).
In Kindergarten he was getting the odd "time out" - for not listening/paying attention. He failed gym for not sharing and being a poor loser.
In Grade 1 (last year) he was getting time out's EVERYDAY and the parents and teacher had many meetings to try to encourage good behaviour and discourage bad behaviour. Again, most incidences involved not listening to instructions, goofing around, disrespecting the teacher by talking over her, etc... Again, he did not do well in gym for being a poor loser. We had a couple problems with the school bus driver as well. These included: trying to get off at the wrong stop (he knew it wasn't our driveway), not sitting down, and not listening.
Grade 2 [2 weeks in] <sigh> Last week was almost kicked off the bus for refusing to sit. Claimed he didn't want to. This week, was sent home early from school for unacceptable bad behaviour (his mom had to come get him). This behaviour included all of the same. When he was in the principal's office (when mom was being called) he refused to speak with her on the phone, instead laying on the floor. When the principal started telling his mom why she had to come get him, DSS started pushing the buttons on the principal's phone.
(If you're still reading - THANK YOU - I'm doing my best to keep this short.) In general, I don't have problems when he's with me - but I'm quite firm and there's no room for disrespect. However - he's not very nice to the animals - kicks the dogs when they walk by, hits the chickens on the head with a bucket and pokes the cat. But sometimes he's really good with them, especially the cat who seems oblivious to abuse and still likes him.
I'm just wondering [pleading] what would you guys be doing? His parents have been split for 2 years and the living arrangement has been one week with mom, one week with dad for over a year.
He needs to go to an excellent child psychologist or similar like counselor, social worker, etc. Unless he has some giant psychological issues my guess is that he hurts the animals because he is mad/frustrated and doesn't have an appropriate outlet for his negative feelings. I would also guess that is why he is doing the other acting out but it may be a combo of that and he is bright, possibly gifted? I was thinking maybe gifted bc he may extremely self critical (gym class), possibly bored in class, trying to trick/test adults.
Parents need an unbiased figure to help them decide the best steps to intervene now before he really gets out of control.
Thank you for your quick response.
I believe counseling is upcoming, called Play Therapy.
I don't think he's necessarily gifted, but perhaps the classroom style doesn't fit his learning style. And I agree that he's overly self-critical.
Again, thanks for the response. It's right along what I was thinking, but since neither parent is thinking it, I was starting to doubt myself.