grandparent adding to allowance -- any harm? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 09-25-2012, 08:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We just started giving DD (4 1/2) an allowance of $1/week in coins, to be divided as she chooses among 3 banks (college, donate, and personal).

One of her grandparents who cares for her one afternoon a week got excited about the idea and asked if it would be OK if she gave her a quarter for each bank each week.

Does anyone see any risks/harm/downsides to letting her do this?
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#2 of 7 Old 09-25-2012, 09:53 PM
 
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I guess if the grandparent is relatively trustworthy (not always a "given") so that the grandparent's portion wouldn't be suddenly "interrupted" for petty reasons a child may not really "get"; you don't suspect that the grandparent would withhold the allowance in a situation that you'd disagree with, and they are overall on the same page about the purpose of the allowance and how it is managed... I guess not.

 

I'm not sure you've thought about this, but we increased our son's allowance each year.  We started at 5yo and he turns 9yo soon.  Wondering if you do this, will your LO expect the grandparent to do it as well...?

 

Just things to think about... kwim?


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#3 of 7 Old 09-26-2012, 04:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think the grandparent is trustworthy. Likely to forget, but so is DD, so I guess when one of them remembers, it will happen, otherwise it won't.

And I think her values around allowance are very much in line with ours, which is exactly why she got excited about contributing.
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#4 of 7 Old 09-26-2012, 02:34 PM
 
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I don`t think the grandparent needs to be trustworthy in order to give an allowance. With my kids, the allowance comes from us and if a grandparent / godparent contributes, it`s appreciated but not expected. Ds gets $3 / week, and his grandma also contributed $3 this week, and last week as well, but she lives with us temporarily and is not expected to contribute after she leaves.
 


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#5 of 7 Old 09-27-2012, 01:30 PM
 
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I wouldn't call it an 'allowance' from Grandma and I wouldn't hold that quarter to the same standards as your allowance.  The $$ my kid gets from other people is 'free' money and he can do as he pleases with it.  I would just say 'here is a quarter from grandma' this week.


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#6 of 7 Old 09-27-2012, 02:00 PM
 
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My son gets £2 a week pocket money (what we call 'allowance' in the UK) from me. He regularly visits an ex of mine who has twins the same age as him. If he's there when they get pocket money then so does he, as he very much like to be included in the family while he's there. He doesn't expect to get that money every week but I don't mind him having a little extra from someone who loves him with well meaning intentions. I can't see any harm to Grandma contributing to your daughter's allowance, it clearly comes from a good place. :)

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#7 of 7 Old 10-03-2012, 10:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zebra15 View Post

I wouldn't call it an 'allowance' from Grandma and I wouldn't hold that quarter to the same standards as your allowance.  The $$ my kid gets from other people is 'free' money and he can do as he pleases with it.  I would just say 'here is a quarter from grandma' this week.

 

 

yeahthat.gif  Agreed.  

 

And my comment about being trustworthy comes from a place of being raised in a family where adults would gift something to a child and then actually attempt to take it back if they got angry with the child for some ridiculous reason (I watched this as an adult) or commit to a child and use that commitment to hang it over a child's head.  eyesroll.gif


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