When does a little boy need to stop peeing outside . . . in suburbia? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-25-2013, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
Brooke Morris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I find it okay for little boys to pee outside, most people are so uptight

Brooke Morris is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-25-2013, 07:07 PM
 
mamahawk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 14
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I allowed my son to pee outside this summer, and he was 4 1/2.  I was always paranoid that someone would say something, but that never happened.  Most of his outdoor pees were in our own yard, or at a farm we visit alot (with like-minded, free-spirited people), but there were a few occasions where I had to let him do his thing in public-  The park (the restroom was locked), the fountain (in a shielded spot between buildings), and once in some bushes next to a parking lot and busy street (He REFUSED to use the restroom in the restaurant- loud toilets used to scare him and we were on a road trip).  

 

I wouldn't let him do it now-  In my mind he is simply too old, and he has overcome a lot his fears and is capable of 'holding it' until we find a more appropriate place.  However, I don't judge, or care when I see little boys peeing, or children running around naked, or whatever :)

mamahawk is offline  
Old 01-25-2013, 07:16 PM
 
ashleyhaugh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: San Antonio, TX
Posts: 4,315
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
my son is 5 and he pees outside in our yard. I rarely let him do it in public, I never really have, but I will shield him and let him pee on the car tire for example, if it is an emergency, and we're not near a bathroom

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
ashleyhaugh is offline  
Old 01-27-2013, 07:21 AM
 
Polliwog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,999
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Call me uptight, if you must. I don't think it's ever appropriate, barring an emergency. The same would apply to my daughter.
Polliwog is offline  
Old 01-27-2013, 07:31 AM
 
rightkindofme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 4,604
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 24 Post(s)
My daughter is 4.5 and I have no plans to ask her to stop.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

rightkindofme is online now  
Old 01-27-2013, 08:38 AM
 
Banana731's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the wild Midwestern Woods...
Posts: 3,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okinawan boys pee on the street for a long time. I think they look at it pragmatically. If the kid has to go and there is no where else to do it, then they have to go.

I think if it's not in your neighbors rose bush or somplace where a person is going to come put a picnic blanket down, then it's not really a big deal to go if you really have to.

I suppose all that matters is courtesy to others, not the act itself.

Banana, doula wife to Papa Banana and mother to Banana One, Banana Two, Banana Three, Banana Four...

Banana731 is offline  
Old 01-27-2013, 08:50 AM
 
mcb2102's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 12
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Since I've done it myself many times in a pinch, I don't think I could tell a child not to! But it would have to be discreet and courteous (I.e. following the "picnic blanket rule" mentioned previously)
mcb2102 is offline  
Old 01-27-2013, 04:16 PM
 
~cassie~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: louisiana
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My 5 1/2 yr old still does.  Sometimes inappropriately.  As in waiting for a train and he went in front of 200 people.  I don't see a problem to be honest.  Dogs pee everywhere, why is it ok for them to and not a little child who can't make it to the potty?


Cassie, mom to Alex(7), Aidan(5), Andrew(4)

~cassie~ is offline  
Old 01-27-2013, 04:54 PM
 
crunchy_mommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 6,460
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcb2102 View Post

Since I've done it myself many times in a pinch, I don't think I could tell a child not to! But it would have to be discreet and courteous (I.e. following the "picnic blanket rule" mentioned previously)

yeahthat.gif I mean, if there's a bathroom convenient (or he can wait a bit) then he uses the bathroom, but if he needs to go, as long as he's courteous & discrete, I don't see the problem at any age.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
crunchy_mommy is offline  
Old 01-27-2013, 05:31 PM
 
littlest birds's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: a dream-filled fixer-upper
Posts: 2,894
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I taught ds not to pee in the front yard as a toddler.  We have a private backyard, with trees and fencing so I tell him to go where no one can see him in the back.  We have only one bathroom so if it's occupied dh or ds can go in the yard discreetly.  Boys can get enough privacy just by facing bushes or a fence. 

 

I remember when my ds would not only pee in the yard but was happy to do so facing the street, ten feet away from passing cars.  He was around 3yo then, and I did start to encourage him to find a more private place even though we laughed and weren't upset by it.  It started out as me telling him about privacy but by the time he was old enough for it to bother me he cared about the privacy on his own.  At 7 or 8 he would not have peed facing the street--he did pee on the raspberries though since they are the closest "bushes" to our house when he walks out the back door.eyesroll.gif

 

I think crossing social boundaries that involve "private parts" could be badly interpreted by neighbors, other children, or even a predator and it is good for kids to have some awareness of those boundaries before they reach school age.  There are times and places like camping and such where it is much more relaxed so that's always nice.  I think it is good to start teaching kids the basic concepts of what to be private about and how as soon as they can grasp any of it, because it plays a part in safety and in generally knowing how to get along with others.


ME&treehugger.gifHE... loving our: wild.gifdd(18) ~~violin.gifds(13) read.gifdd(13)~~ peace.gifdd(10)
 
 

littlest birds is offline  
Old 02-08-2013, 12:56 PM
 
mama amie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My DS is 4 1/2, and we do a moderate amount of outside peeing.  I've been trying to limit it more lately, just because his 18 month old sister is now constantly removing her diaper to attempt to pee on trees like him.  thumb.gif  I am happy to allow it in any emergency situation or if we're just too messy to go inside.  If anyone has a problem with it, I gently remind them that it's socially acceptable to allow dogs to pee just about anywhere without recourse.  As long as my child isn't brazenly waving his tallywhacker in everyone's faces or peeing on someone's personal possessions, I find it perfectly acceptable at this age.  After age 7, or so, more discretion can be applied.  Honestly, my son prefers his privacy at this point.  thumbsup.gif

mama amie is offline  
Old 02-10-2013, 12:39 PM
 
beautyandtheink's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 3
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I understand that if it an emergency there would be a reason but other than that I don't see why there would be a reason to allow it. Just seems gross to me. Granted I only have a girl, but I think that even if I had a boy I would still tell him to use the bathroom. Just not my thing I guess.

beautyandtheink is offline  
Old 02-12-2013, 10:06 PM
 
JudiAU's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Where creepy facebook-featured threads can't find me
Posts: 3,608
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

Eh. It isn't my preference but it has happened plenty of times. We also have a much loved car potty. My kids are trained by age 2, but they are still 2 and if they need to go they need to go.Never had a problem except once this man was a huge jerk about it. I actually told him that is was time to walk away and leave us away. 

JudiAU is offline  
Old 02-13-2013, 11:55 AM
 
missnoodlesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Apex, NC
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We are pretty relaxed about it - my 4 y/o (boy) and 6 y/o (girl) both use the great outdoors when necessary. Considering the fact that I do as well when necessary, I don't see myself telling the kids they can't ever. Pragmatically, it has to e better than peeing in your pants smile.gif
missnoodlesmom is offline  
Old 01-28-2014, 08:59 PM
 
beachmom5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

When he doesn't need to pee anymore! If you were asking if it's ok for a boy to pee outside I would understand, but when to stop? If it was ok to teach him to do so at 3 or 4 years, then why would you insist that he stop as a teenager. Many men, including my husband pee in the yard on occasion. All three of our boys 11 through 5 do so as well, there's more than enough privacy. 

beachmom5 is offline  
Old 01-29-2014, 02:59 PM
 
doopamama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Pullman, WA
Posts: 135
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

Why stop?  Perhaps some lessons on appropriate places and times (I.e. need to go NOW vs. being to lazy to run inside for the toilet...)

 

we had to have the appropriate time and place talk with my oldest DD (now age 6) when she was about 4 and I saw her peeing in the middle of the front yard as one of the neighboring farm's work trucks drove by.  All occupants male of course.

 

Since we have a small farm and there is a road crossing involved in going into the house we have it set up so that when they are out in the gardens, they are expected to wait if they can and go in the house when a grownup does (for road crossing) or to use a secluded place near their play area or a small training potty that apparently now lives by garden plot #2.  Since they're girls, the potty is helpful and having the designated spots keeps such biohazards out of garden areas.  Important as a farm selling produce!

 

The pigs go outside, the sheep go wherever they darn well please and Papa and Grandpa don't have to go to the house either.  when nature calls, nature calls!  and we'd all be happier if there is an appropriate place to heed the call of nature.


Farming mama to DD1 (10/18/07), DD2 (10/3/09) who are always DS born 8.21.14 and wife to loving hubby (6/23/2007).
doopamama is offline  
Old 01-29-2014, 03:30 PM
 
Chloe'sMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Fresno
Posts: 3,138
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

My boy is only 11 months, so have not had this yet.... but, my dds, often are naked in the back yard and will pee outside if they want to.  I am ok with them doing it... DD will be 6 this year and still have no plans to stop her.


SAHM to Chloe«- 6/2008 (10 lbs, 5 oz), Hannah- 9/2010 (9 lbs, 12 oz), Liam- 2/2013 (9 lbs, 6 oz)

Chloe'sMama is offline  
Old 01-29-2014, 09:28 PM
 
ananas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,880
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmom5 View Post
 

When he doesn't need to pee anymore! If you were asking if it's ok for a boy to pee outside I would understand, but when to stop? If it was ok to teach him to do so at 3 or 4 years, then why would you insist that he stop as a teenager. Many men, including my husband pee in the yard on occasion. All three of our boys 11 through 5 do so as well, there's more than enough privacy. 

My ex used to tell me "Sometimes a man just needs to take a pee out in the fresh air".

 

I'm not a man so I can't really argue.


Newly single, chronically sleep deprived mama to my little wild thang wild.gif, born 11/17/12 

fly-by-nursing1.gif

ananas is offline  
Old 01-29-2014, 11:40 PM
 
farmermomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 937
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
How many generations of humans had to leave their home to potty outside? And now when we're outside we gotta come in to potty. Just boggles my mind in evolutionary terms.

I've been with people that were uncomfortable that I let my 5 year old kid pee outside at the mall. However they never had to change his pants or seen the pain of his embarrassment. Could he have held it? Maybe. I err on the side of relief.

What's with stupid stores that won't let you use bathrooms. Don't have a kids section if you won't let a kid use the bathroom. Yes I'm talking about you Dollar General. Grrr.
farmermomma is offline  
Old 01-30-2014, 01:41 PM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 34 Post(s)

I think its socially acceptable for a boy to pee outside. Not so for a girl. Its a matter of being discreet.

contactmaya is offline  
Old 01-30-2014, 06:33 PM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,668
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
I think it should never be encouraged at any age. Urine smells disgusting and the scent is hard to get rid of. It is also just a disgusting habit.

Where I live they can ticket you for exposure after age ten and after age 18 it is indecent exposure plus life long registery as a sex offender depending on whether it was done where a child could have seen you. I don't agree with life long registration but the ticket part I am fine with if it is done anywhere others can see (except in the wild where it is something everyone has to do because that's how camping goes).
One_Girl is offline  
Old 01-31-2014, 08:51 AM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 34 Post(s)

It probably depends on how much it rains where you live-what about dogs?

One other thing-adult pee  can smell off, but ive yet to experience that kind of smell from my children...

contactmaya is offline  
Old 01-31-2014, 11:30 AM
 
farmermomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Indiana
Posts: 937
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Drink more water. Your pee won't smell as bad and you get to go more often.
farmermomma is offline  
Old 01-31-2014, 12:07 PM
 
contactmaya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,100
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 34 Post(s)

I feel the need to explain that although an adult, my pee doesnt smell :-)

contactmaya is offline  
Old 01-31-2014, 01:38 PM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,668
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
I work with children and pee does stink. It's especially bad after it sits a while. Pee on concrete, animal or otherwise, is especially bad.
One_Girl is offline  
Old 02-02-2014, 02:39 AM
 
cattmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 81
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Peeing outside in well populated areas can really overburden shared spaces. When I used to live, the local playgrounds reeked of that smell. One day I was sitting on the curb that separated the playground from the grass. I heard a familiar whizzing sound and turned my head - to see the toddler next to me, unzipped, aiming the stream about an inch from my hand. Our family rule was that you could pee outdoors when you were in the country, and there was plenty of space and privacy. More populated places are a no go. A portable pot is good for those situations. I don't see that as different for boys or girls.

cattmom is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off