7yo wanting to play with/entertain adult guests - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-30-2013, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My 7 year old always gets silly and tries to entertain adult company that comes by.

 

Last night we were talking about it, and he stated that all we do with company is talk, and no one plays with him, so that's frustrating for him.

 

I pointed out that for adults, talking is fun and we need that conversation with other adults. I suggested he could join in or draw at the table while we talk, but he's not interested in that. He actually wants them to play directly with him. ....even our one friend who stopped by played the recorder with him and allowed him to dress her up in a few superhero things, but he tried and tried to impress her and grab her attention most of the visit. We drew the line at noisey things that interupted the conversation.

 

We left things at that we'd both think about it and come back to it tomorrow.

 

I'm wondering if I'm missing something here. Is there some clear statement that can clearly identify the difference between adult company coming for the purpose of conversation (while still acknowledging DS1's presense) and that an age-appropriate friend may be a better suited playmate? Is it worth explicitly teaching manners and host-appropriate behaviour and expecting that of him?

 

He likes knowing what's expected of him in certain situations and what appropriate options are. ...maybe he can offer 2 or 3 things/suggested activities politely to a gues (e.g. "would you like to see my lego?", "would you care to play the recorder with me?") then need to leave it alone and he can go off if he's not interested in adult conversation?

 

Thoughts?


Laurie, wife to guitar.gifDH (Aug/04), mom tobikenew.gifDS1 (Nov/05) and bfinfant.gifDS2 (June/12).

 

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Old 03-30-2013, 09:04 PM
 
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My DD also has always hated being left out when we have only adult guests. I try to.have another child over so she isn't lonely as often as possible and when that doesn't work I get movies I know she'll like and make sure some of the conversation includes her. Our guests have always been great about understanding how hard it is to be left out and have been very patient with my DD.
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Old 04-01-2013, 12:58 PM
 
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Yes my 7 year old always wants to be in with the guests. Not even to have someone to "play" with her but she really really likes to be the center of attention. 

Honestly it drives me INSANE! Probably because I have always been one that enjoyed being on my own. I didn't mind engaging with guests but I'd rather be reading ;)

 

It doesn't bother my husband much so I tend to remove myself when it's overwhelming me but we're working on trying to find that balance between hanging with us and the guests and letting the adults talk adult talk.


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Old 04-02-2013, 01:23 AM
 
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We tend to have adults over in the evenings when we also have the kids' "movie" hour.  I basically give the kids sometime to socialize (about 30 min -- to ask questions, make announcements, update our friends with their recent accomplishments etc.) with whoever is visiting and then put on a show they enjoy watching so that the adults can talk in peace.  Is this a cop out? Maybe.  But it sure does work! 

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Old 04-06-2013, 01:37 PM
 
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How often do you have guests? Maybe set aside special time before or after where you can play with him or set aside a special activity that he only gets to do when people are over.
 

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Old 04-07-2013, 06:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We have guests casually about once a week (give or take)....things like moms stopping in for tea or a friend passing through town, nothing too over the top (and come to think of it, it's those pop-by's which are the toughest for him to manage. The odd planned get together full of chaos is fine- sitting around the table sipping tea not so much.

 

We brainstormed some appropriate "games" to play (after he suggested uno or monopoly) and came up with a couple quick and light little tricks/jokes/riddles which he may offer guests if he so chooses and they accept. We role-played what this might look like.

 

I think I we will try that approach for now (and maybe role play a few tricky scenarios where his offers are rejected just in case).


Laurie, wife to guitar.gifDH (Aug/04), mom tobikenew.gifDS1 (Nov/05) and bfinfant.gifDS2 (June/12).

 

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