Daughter Hates Boys And I'm expecting One! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 04-18-2013, 08:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I hope someone can put my mind at rest on this subject. My daughter is 4 years old and seems to have a major dislike of boys for no apparent reason. She's a major girly girl (despite me hoping to avoid it), and she will only play with her female friends, despite the fact she has grown up around both girls and boys. But she refuses to have anything to do with her male friends and will only play with girls and likes doing girl things.

 

The problem is I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a boy, and of course she is really not happy about this. She has said that her Aunt has to push him back in when I have him, and that he has to live with someone else. I'm hoping it's just a phase she'll grow out of, but I'm worried that she will hate him when he's born and refuse to have anything to do with him. I'm also dreading the likelihood of jealousy.

 

Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I would love to hear experiences, or get some advice on the subject.

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#2 of 6 Old 04-18-2013, 09:56 AM
 
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I think she'll be fine. She's expecting that you will have a kid kind of boy and will likely see the baby differently.
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#3 of 6 Old 05-08-2013, 01:33 PM
 
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Hi,

 

I have not yet met a child, especially of your daughters age, that has actually liked the idea of a baby joining the family whether it was the ''right sex'' they wanted or not. It is a worry for you, but i think the child, namely, your daughter, thinks and is probably expecting that the baby is going to come along and she will be immediatly pushed aside. You prob wont be able to convince her otherwise as she wouldve noticed all the changes happening for the baby's arrival, but once the baby comes along, she will see that it is not as traumatic as she thought and you may find she is very helpful and caring with the baby. If not, just ensure she is involved as much as she can be. with my eldest i got him to fetch me the baby's nappy or assist with the bottle feeding which helped him alot as he was getting attention too.

 

Im sure it will be fine :)

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#4 of 6 Old 05-08-2013, 01:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for that. I think you're right, and she just needs to get used to the idea and experience the new baby for herself. I think it's the main reason for her acting up a lot recently, so hopefully she will calm down a bit after the birth. But I'll definitely be asking her to help me a lot with the baby, and make her feel involved.

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#5 of 6 Old 05-10-2013, 12:28 AM
 
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I think that lots of little girls (and boys) at that age identify strongly with their own gender and do some rejecting of the opposite gender, whether it's people or things associated with them. As far as the baby goes, he's coming. I think it's wise to present that as a very factual, "this is what's happening" and quickly remind her when she makes comments that Brother is part of your family and that you value them both.

 

On the up side he's going to be a cute, squishy baby. You can include her in taking care of him, make him "our baby" and she will most likely be enamored with him.


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13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#6 of 6 Old 05-10-2013, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I think she's finally coming to terms with it, which is good. She tried to hide it, but I think she's secretly excited about it now. So we should be alright.
 

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