Has one of your kids ever been obsessed with another kid? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 05:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
mamazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: US midwest
Posts: 7,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
My younger daughter (4) is obsessed with a friend. I don't think I'm exaggerating with my use of the word "obsessed.". She talks about her (I'll call her Jane) all the time, over and over and over again throughout the day. Jane speaks a language other than English at home, and so my daughter asks what words are in that language all the time and wants to learn that language. She says she doesn't want to play wtih anyone but Jane. When other kids want to play she says no, and then tells me it's becuase she only plays with Jane. She wants to eat foods Jane has said she likes and won't eat foods she's learned Jane doesn't like. She likes a Disney princess Jane likes despite never seeing the movie or knowing much about this princess. Those are just some examples. It's Jane Jane Jane all day every day.

Do I just wait for her to outgrow this? Is there a way to encourage her to play with other children too? Is this common for this age group, or is this unusual? I remember my older daughter when she was this age talking about a little boy she knew a lot, but not to this extreme by a long shot.

I'm a bit worried she's going to freak Jane out and Jane will not want to play with her anymore. My daughter would be truly crushed.
mamazee is offline  
#2 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 08:09 AM
 
LLQ1011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,008
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

that is really complicated. How does she know this other girl?
 

LLQ1011 is offline  
#3 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 08:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
mamazee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: US midwest
Posts: 7,500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Jane lives in our neighborhood, although not next door or anything, and they go to the same preschool. So when we have a group of neighbor kids that age playing, and when she's at preschool, they are together.
mamazee is offline  
#4 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 08:43 AM
 
LLQ1011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,008
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I see. I would give it a little more time and see if it fades. Hopefully its a fast furious thing and burns out soon. I remember having one best friend really young and not really caring to have anymore. I also remeber pretending to have imaginary friends like her and like all of the things she liked. But it did eventually die down.
 

LLQ1011 is offline  
#5 of 5 Old 04-23-2013, 11:05 AM
 
mumkimum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ohio-land
Posts: 2,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My dd1 has always had a tendency to latch onto one friend, who then becomes truly important.  She's only recently (past 2 years, maybe?) become less intense about this (she's now 6, and when 3 & 4 this was much more an issue).

 

At preschool, they'd have times they'd encourage her and her friend to do different activities and separate them.  While this was (mildly) devastating to my dd, It made a lot of sense - they were gentle about it - and it probably ended up helping the most in the long run since it's mainly been friends at school whom we didn't see a ton otherwise (except occasionally).  

 

I'd often talk about solo-activities I knew my dd liked at school, or other friends at school she'd enjoyed doing things with in the past in an effort to make it less fearful/devastating to sometimes do things with other friends or end up being separated from her one important friend.  And because in her focus on this friend, she'd often forget about things she truly enjoyed that this person didn't.  That was never something I liked - stuff like liking this or that princess (who we had no personal experience with) BUT I tried my best to ignore that and it would eventually blow over and she'd like what she liked for her own reasons eventually.

 

In my dd's case, it always felt very personality-driven.  I think she'll always have a tendency to have a super-special friend she's focused on a lot.    

mumkimum is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off