Birthday parties' question - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 06:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you take your dc to every bday party they are invited to? We have been invited to a kid's birthday that dd doesn't know, know really well. They play soccer together and don't really talk much. I am not being able to decipher which ones to go to and which ones to skip. It does get expensive as well when they have a whole load of bdays they get invited to.


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#2 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 07:17 AM
 
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Short answer, no, my dc's do not go to every birthday party they are invited to.  My oldest has a few close friends so he only goes to maybe 2-3/year but dd1 seems to get invited to every party.  I have no problem telling my kids no if it doesn't work out schedule wise.  Some times they choose to not attend just because they are not a really close friend.  If they aren't going, they usually sit down and make a birthday card for that person to thank them for the invite and to wish them a happy birthday and give to them at school.  My dc's know that not everyone can come to their birthday party so I would hope that other families are the same and can help the kids through their disappointment.

 

I don't know how old your dc is but my oldest two are 10 and 8.  They each get a monthly allowance and this year we started getting them to use their own spending money to buy friends birthday gifts.  It helps them decide which parties are more important to them.  They also put a lot of thought into gifts when they are using their own money.


Karen - spouse to dh for 11 years, mama to ds (Nov '02), dd (May '05) and ds and dd (Jun '08)

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#3 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 07:36 AM
 
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Yes, my kids usually want to go if they are invited, but here gifts are optional, or at most $2 so it's not such an expensive proposition.


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#4 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yes, my kids usually want to go if they are invited, but here gifts are optional, or at most $2 so it's not such an expensive proposition.

Wow. here it's gone from what I used to think $15-$20 and now the last two times it was $25 because I knew from the host that that is what they were paying for each kid at the place they had the party.


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#5 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 02:11 PM
 
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I don't care what someone pays for my child to attend a party. That's up to the parents. For a classmate, I usually spend between $5 and $10 for the gift. The store, Five Below, has great gifty things. We've bought lots of games there. Good ones, too.
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#6 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 04:01 PM
 
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Ds goes to most parties he's invited to.  I usually make something for the birthday kid unless it's a no gift party, then we just make a card.  Ds is only 5 so the parties are super crazy. I don't know that we've been to one where the kid has opened presents at the party ever so no one would even notice if we just got them a small gift or nothing.

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#7 of 12 Old 05-16-2013, 09:20 PM
 
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We go to most parties and we get invited to a lot. Many of them are gift-free and I got into the habit of never bringing gifts. The kids don't really associate birthdays = bring gift, which I like. Now, we go to more parties with gifts (no one opens here) and I almost always send books from amazon before. One, I think it is more fun to get it as a surprise than a boatload of gifts on one occasion. And two, it allows me to de-emphasize gift-giving for my kids, because we have gift free parties. DS, turning 6, asked me about it this week and I just told him "that he doesn't need people to bring gifts because he already gets a lot and some kids do." I hope that holds. He does. They may. 20 extra presents sounds like a nightmare to me.

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#8 of 12 Old 05-17-2013, 07:40 AM
 
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I try to take my daughter to every party she's invited to.  We have been to a few parties where she was one of only a handful (and once, she was the ONLY) to show up.  I am sure the parents are heartbroken, so we try to go.  "No gift" parties haven't really taken off here, but from DD's last birthday (which was her first BIG party with her whole class and kids from her activities) I can see that the price range for gifts is huge - everything from a coloring book and pack of markers to much more expensive things.  I was curious because I had no idea if we were "in the zone" for spending. 

 

I would like to find something I could easily make, but I'm not sure what kind of crafty things 7 year olds like,  you know?  Especially boys.  I don't know how to make a Lego ;-)
 

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#9 of 12 Old 05-17-2013, 11:57 AM
 
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I agree that price of party does not = price of gift. My ds had his first big bday party a few weeks ago and we were on a budget - it was a party at the park! Kids loved it. I gave the balloons we used to decorate as 'favors'. I was surprised how generous ppl were with gifts.

 

My ds does not go to every party and he doesn't want to go to every party. I sort it out based on if we have any conflicts and then by degree of friend. School friends get highest priority because the kids talk about the party at school and it seems more important. But we still don't go to every one.

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#10 of 12 Old 05-20-2013, 05:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post

 "No gift" parties haven't really taken off here, but from DD's last birthday (which was her first BIG party with her whole class and kids from her activities) I can see that the price range for gifts is huge - everything from a coloring book and pack of markers to much more expensive things.  I was curious because I had no idea if we were "in the zone" for spending. 

 

Ditto. Had a Big party for dd last yr and range of presents were different but we had q. a few $25 range. She got 2 gift cards and a couple of things that I knew the price of. I still try to stick to about $20 or under.

 

What did you mean by: "in the zone for spending"?


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#11 of 12 Old 05-20-2013, 06:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks. I don't have to take to her to some parties. But she wants to go to every one she's invited to. This year the invitations have been less than last year though. 


If I've done nothing wrong, and my attitude is well-meaning, a difficult situation is just a test for my ability to remain beyond the judgement of others ~ Unknown
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#12 of 12 Old 05-20-2013, 03:41 PM
 
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Ditto. Had a Big party for dd last yr and range of presents were different but we had q. a few $25 range. She got 2 gift cards and a couple of things that I knew the price of. I still try to stick to about $20 or under.

 

What did you mean by: "in the zone for spending"?

 

We haven't lived here long and we don't know a TON of people.  In some areas, I know people spend a lot on gifts and in others don't spend as much.  I've seen everything from bubbles and sidewalk chalk to what I consider kind of spendy toys for a classmate you hardly know.  I guess I mean the zone is so big you can't really miss it ;-)

 

It's funny, I have zero expectations for what other people will give her and only keep track for thank you note purposes but I wanted to be sure I wasn't being weird and sending the wrong kinds of gifts.  A friend of mine has a funny story about showing up to a party with a fun toy and not an educational one and all the GASP!  reactions.

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