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cheryllynn 06-13-2013 09:10 AM

Hi - first thank you for providing this forum to help me vent. I have a 4 year old and 11 month old at a family day care provider. I am Ok with the care there - not overly enthusiastic, but not bad enough to move them. However, the day care mom seems to be a know-it-all and either constantly gives me unsolicited parenting advice or seems to turn our conversations around to her children. This morning I had it, although I couldn't articulate it at the time, I have been stewing all morning. There are two things that bother me: first, she does tell me how to parent without me asking for advice and second, she doesn't seem to take her own advice when it comes to her oldest dd. I have never told her how to handle her oldest dd .

I spent some time looking for alternatives today and am really surprised at the prices of the church run day care centers - they are more than the family day care! We pay $50/day per child, so we pay her $100 / day. However, the church run day care centers are charging $60-$70 / day.

I would wait until fall when my dd will attend full day pre-school, but looking for my son who will be 14 months old. Very sad to start hearing the nearby daycares are full. Even the two church run day care centers I checked are full.

I won't bring him to a day care chain as I hear too many horror stories with them. I can put him on a wait list and earliest I can get him in is May 2014.

Thanks for listening - any advice on the day care mom? I turned around and walked out on her this morning while she was repeating her parenting advice for the third time.

Kamiro 06-13-2013 02:24 PM

One thing that popped in to my head was that perhaps she is a a little deprived of adult interaction, and giving 'advice' is the best way she knows how to socialize? I plead 'guilty' to have caught myself doing that (umm, hellllo - I'm posting on this thread to give advice LOL)


Another thing is that I have an aunt who will repeat things 3, 4, 5, 6 times even after you tell her you've GOT IT ALREADY. It's a habit, and since she's done it as long as I've known her - not old age. LOL


Either way, obviously the situation is frustrating for you.dizzy.gif


I think annoyances and irritation aside - are your children safe, loved, and well cared for? If you can answer 'yes'...maybe you should look at things you can do to minimize the irritations in the mean time - you don't want to be left with NO day care and wind up putting your kids in an unsafe place. 


You have my sympathies and I hope some one can comment with some good suggestions for you. In the mean time, I guess 'grin and bare it' is my only advice. hug.gif

cheryllynn 06-14-2013 07:58 AM

Hi Kamiro - thank you for your insight. I can see where she would be missing adult conversation. My dd does like going over there. I do have concerns over safety though - there are a lot of children there now that school is over. She has two older children in addition to six other younger children and she has no help. My son is the youngest at 11 months. then the daycare mom's 2 yr old, two other 3 yr olds, my dd at 4 and another 4 yr old plus the 2 5 year olds done with kindergarten. I am going to check on her license to see how many children she can have without requirement some assistance at least part of the day. Sometimes children are outside and others inside and she can't be both places at once. She lets the older kids play unsupervised outside at times, including her own 5 yr old dd. Her yard is not fenced. II will keep looking. In the meantime, I am going to cut short the drop-off and pick-up time and only restrict to the bare minimum of conversation.

mummamilk 06-14-2013 08:21 AM

Just curious if you are paying $100 per/day for family daycare how much does a nanny in your area cost? Maybe a mom with one child

willing to come to your house would be a better situation.


For now can you try having conversations about other topics. Start with "thank you for taking care of my children. How was your weekend?" (or something even more general)

Kamiro 06-14-2013 10:05 AM

Oh, yes...What about a nanny - is that the same price range or no?


With school being out you may be able to find a senior or college age young person to work relatively cheap. Also, there are always grannies out there (most places) who may be looking for some extra income and time spent with kids.

You may have to get creative, but those are options.

phathui5 06-17-2013 11:29 PM

When I've continued using childcare I was uncomfortable with, I ended up regretting it (nothing terrible, but I wish I'd changed providers sooner). 

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