Birthday invitation question - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 06-30-2013, 07:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I received a birthday invitation from the mother of one of DD's preschool classmates. It is being held at a party venue at 2:00 on a weekday. This girl was one of DD's very best friends at school and I know she'd love to go, and I know the girl would love for DD to be there. The mom and I get along really well -- we haven't reached friend level, but we're good acquaintances and I can see us becoming friends.

Okay, all that said, I generally only bring the invited kid to parties, and think it's rude to ask the host if it's okay to bring siblings because it puts the host in an awkward position. So my usual policy is, either arrange for childcare for the sibling, or politely decline the invitation.

Every other party invitation we've received has either been on a weekend (when DH can watch the sibling), or it's been someone we don't know well (a whole-class invite sort of thing) where we don't feel bad saying no.

But in this case, since the girl is a close friend of DD's, I'm hesitating to give up so easily. Should I:

-- Tell the mom that our RSVP is a "maybe" while I try to arrange childcare for DS (I'm worried that will sound like fishing for an invite for DS)
-- Ask if it's a drop-off party so that I can hang with DS while DD attends the party (it's within a mall, so there'd be plenty for DS and I to do, and I'd be right there to pick up DD when the party ended. But the girls are only 4/5, so dropping off isn't the norm yet and might make more work for the host)
-- Decline the invitation
-- Other...?

DH+Me 1994 heartbeat.gif DS 2004 heartbeat.gif DD 2008 heartbeat.gif DDog 2014
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#2 of 9 Old 06-30-2013, 07:56 PM
 
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I would call her and tell her maybe pending on cc for the baby...you will find out right then and there if she wants a sib there or not....Being that young I would hesitate leaving my youngster at a mall for a party without me...But I am fanatic like that...If she balks then I would just do your best to find a sitter for that hour or so while you take her...being her little best friend I would try really hard to make sure she got to go...

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#3 of 9 Old 06-30-2013, 08:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Mylie View Post

I would call her and tell her maybe pending on cc for the baby...you will find out right then and there if she wants a sib there or not....Being that young I would hesitate leaving my youngster at a mall for a party without me...But I am fanatic like that...If she balks then I would just do your best to find a sitter for that hour or so while you take her...being her little best friend I would try really hard to make sure she got to go...

Thanks for the reply! To clarify, if I "dropped off" DD, I'd stay within the mall, probably at the little treat shop right across the way from the venue so I could keep an eye on her. Also, DS is 8 -- I think I'd be more likely to try to bring along a baby than a big boy who might want to take stuff over from the little girls.

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#4 of 9 Old 07-01-2013, 06:02 AM
 
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Can you arrange a drop-off playdate for DS that day, or have a friend walk the mall with him while you go to the party with DD?

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#5 of 9 Old 07-01-2013, 09:19 AM
 
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I'd drop off and stay at the sweet shop.  Even though people may genuinely mean, "Is it ok" when they ask if they can bring a sibling, it is so hard to say no and not feel/look like a jerk.  If you say, "I'm going to sit right over here with DS if she needs me, and the hostess offers - there's your answer, go ahead and stay.  If not, you're right there.

 

You're very sweet to consider this.  A friend of mine was just telling me that he daughter's birthday party cost twice the estimate due to siblings and parents staying (and ordering food).  She very pointedly said it in front of another friend who brings all four of her kids to every party any is invited to.

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#6 of 9 Old 07-01-2013, 10:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for he replies! NiteNicole, I can't believe your friend brings FOUR kids to parties where only one is invited! That's bad enough at a casual park/backyard party, but at a venue where there's a per-person charge it's really awful. Good for your other friend for bringing it up in front of her.

So for my situation, grandma to the rescue! My MIL told me that she has that week off from work, so she's going to do something special with DS while I take DD to the party -- yay for grandmas! orngbiggrin.gif

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#7 of 9 Old 07-01-2013, 12:37 PM
 
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I think you should call and see if you can drop her off. She may be relieved that you want to because hosted parties often limit the total number of people and they sometimes charge extra for more than a couple adults.
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#8 of 9 Old 07-01-2013, 12:47 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post

Thanks for he replies! NiteNicole, I can't believe your friend brings FOUR kids to parties where only one is invited! That's bad enough at a casual park/backyard party, but at a venue where there's a per-person charge it's really awful. Good for your other friend for bringing it up in front of her.

So for my situation, grandma to the rescue! My MIL told me that she has that week off from work, so she's going to do something special with DS while I take DD to the party -- yay for grandmas! orngbiggrin.gif

 

So glad that resolved itself!

 

I think my friend who brings all her kids really just never thought it through. I know she knows how much parties cost, she has kids, but I think her thinking is that if one of her kids gets an invite, the host has planned for all of them. 

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#9 of 9 Old 07-01-2013, 07:54 PM
 
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For me, it would depend on the age of the sibling. Most venues don't charge for kids under 2, so I wouldn't hesitate to bring a child that age. For age 2 and up, I would check with the parent. You can always offer to pay for the sibling so you don't have to wait around.

Ryan 08-28-08  & Julianna 5-3-11
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