My 2 young sons have always been allowed to make jokes about their bodies and body functions. However, they were playing with their 8yo cousin yesterday when my 7yo son farted and his cousin said something (I wasn't in the room so I don't no exactly what) as a joke about it. My sister then picked up her son and gave him a stern talking-to in front of my boys about why what he did was bad. My sons were confused about what on earth was wrong with potty humor and they came to me about it. What should I do/say?
Potty humor is fine in our house, but I discourage it in public so the kids don't offend anyone. Our extended family and most of our friends share our sense of humor, so we've never run into a problem.
perfect time for your sons to learn that each household has different rules. and it doesnt matter what is right or wrong. it doesnt matter what your own house rules are at your home. what matters is that you respect the rules of the house you are visiting no matter how illogical they may seem. .
at 3 dd actually won the adult potty humor birthday party. she turned twinkle twinkle little star into potty humor.
I have no problem with potty humor and engage in it with DD myself, but she seems to have a natural sense of when it's appropriate. Maybe the cousin doesn't always use it appropriately so mom is trying to put a lid on it?
I guess I don't have a problem with kids having potty humor in their own home, but my opinion about this was formed before I had kids, when I was a teacher. It is quite obnoxious when you have to compete with a kid who can whip potty humor out of his back pocket whenever he wants and have the entire class rapt with interest just from making one fart sound or whatever. And among kids, potty humor has a big snowball effect. Once one kid goes down that path, you seem to lose the whole class rather quickly.
It's not that I have no sense of humor, it's just that there's a time and a place for it and I, personally, most often saw it used in an obnoxious way that leaned toward disrespectful. So...as a teacher, I would encrouage parents to teach their kids to leave that stuff at home. Or on the playground or something. I teach my kids that we don't talk about poop or pee unless we're in the bathroom. With that said we have very open talks about vulvas and such and they know they are perfectly appropriate by saying something like, "my vulva hurts" "I went poopy can you change me?" Kids are naturally attracted to it, I get it. My kids have found a way around it by talking a lot about Winnie the POOh during mealtime and they think that's hilarious. And while I go on about my business and act un-amused, I think it's funny and quite clever of them actually, but not something I'm going to encourage. We laugh a LOT during the day so it's not like there's any shortage of humor in our lives, but I don't want my kids to be the kid in class who is always talking about butts and turds and getting their peers all riled up causing them to lose focus on their teacher.
My own brother totally allows potty talk with his daughter and he was eating lunch with my girls the other day and was acting all silly and making them laugh by talking about poopy. And I noticed that during a dinner out with family a few weeks ago his daughter said a lot of yucky things while we were eating. I think if he discouraged some of that type of thing we might not have to listen to her talk about her boogers while we're trying to eat you know? Still though, I love them and if you all were my friends in real life and it were your kids talking to me about boogers while I was eating...I'd gag a little and then just smile and love your kids anyway for how smart and fun they are and wouldn't judge ya. I'll bet there are plenty of successful, productive, happy and fulfilled individuals who were raised with lax rules around potty talk. So, though I have a lot to say about it, bottom line is I think it isn't too big of a deal no matter what your house rules are but like another poster said, you can't go wrong with asking your kids to respect the people they are around by avoiding doing something that makes them uncomfortable if it can be avoided.
Dot-to-Dot, excellent reply.
I am not fond of potty humour. I never encouraged it. I have definite rules about what is appropriate for discussion at meal times and I still say "NOT WHEN I AM EATING" if a family member raises a potty/vomit/etc. topic of discussion, even though we are all adults now.
Having said that, I know that potty humour is an impossible-to-resist temptation and inevitable with children. For some children, it's a really tiresome constant, non-stop, one-trick joke that plays endlessly. I can't fault a parent for wanting to cut it off quickly before that happens. I like the idea of keeping a lid on it - only okay in the bathroom and playroom and possibly elsewhere if it's only your little group but nowhere else.
However at home we're fine with it.
I don't honestly know how I would stop my 6 year old and my 2 year old from talking about poo and butts and farts. They are going through a phase right now. OMG. My 2 year old thinks it is so funny to insert the word poo in like every single sentence..ie I tell her I love her and she responds "I love poo too". Sigh, I'm hoping it will just fade away....
My kids have never been particularly interested in potty humor. I wonder if one reason they aren't is that DP and I have never made it into a forbidden thing. We don't care if they talk about poop or pee or butts. We've never tried to limit where or when they could talk about that stuff and we're probably at least as likely as they are to engage in potty humor. Maybe talking about poop doesn't seem so irresistibly funny if the people around you don't think it's a big deal. Being lax about it hasn't led to my kids using a lot of potty language around other people. I don't recall either one of them ever using potty language in a situation where it wasn't appropriate.
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