What' is going on with this child's behavior? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 08-30-2013, 05:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We met a new friend/neighbor when my daughter was 4 and she was 6. The girl immediately started talking about boys and marriage and kissing and princesses and babies, etc. She would spray my daughter with perfume and they would put on make-up. I would hear her whisper to my daughter about a boy that she kissed....a real grown up kiss...on the mouth. Those of us with very young girls may cringe when we hear this type of stuff, but I believe it is pretty typical for older girls. This behavior took a sudden turn in the other direction recently which has me puzzled. First, some background. We carpool and our schools are very far away, so the kids are literally on top of each other for about 1.5 hours each day.

 

This girl has some issues. I have witnessed a lot of strange behaviors. First, she lies all the time. When my daughter would bust her in a lie and get sad about it she would say "ha! tricked ya!"....like saying "just kidding", but in a way that made her feel like the foolish one. Your so dumb you thought I was cheating!

 

She is very sneaky. If you tell her she can't have something or do something, she will find a way to sneak it. 

 

She doesn't play nice and loves to tease. She will say mean things to put my daughter down, like "you have ugly hair".

 

She is extremely jealous. My daughter now acts extremely jealous around her too :(

 

To make things more stressful, her younger brother is constantly teasing my kids also, but I really think he is just trying to be like her. 

 

My poor son was mortified because when he went to get in the car, in front of all his brand new friends at his brand new school (tween agers), the girl's little brother immediately started spanking him on the butt. He always does that ...then he gets in his face, teases him..messes with his hair, etc. 

 

The girl likes to gross out my kids, so she licks them. The girl will steal a snack from my kids, then lick it so they can't eat it. My daughter would fall for it and lick her back sometimes, or try to lick her snack too. Nice behavior she is teaching my kids. 

 

The mom has alerted me to my own children's behavior on a few occasions, which kind of ticks me off. I appreciate knowing when my kids are acting up, but she can't expect my children to sit back and take abuse for so long...and be surrounded by negativity for so long without beginning to act the same way. Last year, she called me and with a serious tone told me that my son said a curse word in her car. I know he would constantly yell at the girl because she would tease him and my daughter...I would really get on his case about his abusive language toward her last year...but I completely understood why he was so frustrated with her. She would bully him relentlessly and put her nose right on his nose and he would finally scream at her and then she would bring on the crocodile tears....but I was still surprised he would curse, so I asked him about it. He looked confused and he told me he didn't curse...he said she heard him wrong. My son does have slightly sloppy speech due to speech delays, so it is possible she heard him wrong...and she has an accent (I don't think English is her first language)...so there could be a slight language barrier there too...not to mention her kids are the loudest kids I have ever heard. She always comments on how loud they are too, so I'm not sure how she heard anything! He admitted that he cursed once at her house though! I apologized and told her I would talk to him...and I did. 

 

The mom also made a big deal about the kids throwing things at each other in the car, and making messes with snack...she then banned snack. I also banned snack. Her kids constantly broke the snack rule and would sneak things into the car to eat in front of my kids. 

 

Her mom told me that she caught my son and her daughter hugging and rubbing all over each other in the car and she told me "I don't play that" and she said she keeps them separated in the car....That was when we first started carpooling last year, when the girl was 7 and my son was 9. I don't doubt it happened, but he can't stand the girl. He was probably giving her a taste of her own medicine...maybe she started messing with him, he did it back, thinking it would annoy her...but she loved it! When I would ask him for a hug, as a toddler, he would turn around backwards and back up into it. He had sensory issues and doesn't usually like people touching him. He had lots of OT and it has gotten better, but I still can't see him instigating that type of game with someone he can't stand. 

 

She can't keep her hands off my daughter either. I am constantly telling her to stop touching...I hear my daughter saying "stop it! Get away from me!" Sometimes it was silly games and my daughter would giggle and she would ask my daughter to do the silly game back to her...Today it was a snake...she was pretending her hand was a snake and attacking my daughter with it...of course there was kissing and love involved "snakey loves you....give him a kiss". 

 

Last year, the girl would tickle my daughter and then ask her to tickle her back. Once I looked back and saw that she was tickling my daughter in the "private" area. I immediately told them not to tickle each other there. 

 

The other day in the car, I looked over and saw the girl plant her face in my daughter's crotch. Then I heard my daughter say EEwwww with a giggle. Then she pushed the girl's head away and said "you kissed my thigh!" I again told them no kissing. Then she said "give me your head" and pushed my daughter's face into her crotch area. I told my daughter to sit up straight and then the girl started singing a vulgar potty-mouth song that she made up. Some of the words were of course about kissing....and kissing butts. This isn't the first time I heard her talk about kissing butts. Her younger brother (who spanks everyone on the butt) said it once too. Then she sang about kissing girls.

 

Yesterday, she was getting right in my daughter's face, as she often does when she teases her. This time she kissed her instead. She was saying "smoochy smoochy!"and "I love you" in a teasing voice....like trying to gross her out. My daughter screamed "eeeww!' and giggled. When I told her to stop, she started playing another game she made up...she pretends she is hungry and says "you look like a...." and names random yummy foods. She kind of sneaks up on her with a wide-eyed look....like trying to scare her. She loves to hear her giggle-scream, and this game gives her an excuse to lick her or put her mouth on her. 

 

My daughter is very observant and curious though, because a few minutes after the kiss, she said "wait a minute...are you a girl or a boy?" and the girl said "a girl". My daughter then said "I don't get it...why did you sing about kissing girls?"

 

Does all of this STILL sound typical to you? If not what the heck is going on with this child? ADHD impulse control and extreme jealousy are the two things that pop into my mind...perhaps even a touch of (hopefully accidental) exposure to pornography or sex.

 

Also, how do I tell this woman about this? She comes from a very conservative background and definitely spanks her daughter. I am afraid she will punish the girl over the kissing. I was thinking of focusing more on the way she treats my daughter in general instead of just the kissing incidents.

 

I have a feeling she only gets away with this type of behavior with younger girls, like my daughter. Most of her friends are older so the mom probably won't witness it with other girls. I do remember we were at her house one time, and the girl called us (the moms) into the room to show us something. The girl had my daughter on the bed, on hands and knees, with her ankles and wrists bound with belts or scarves or something. When we walked in, she lifted a blanket and my daughter was under there staying very still like a statue...I am not sure what kind of game it was, but even her mom said something like..."OK, lets find another game with no tying up"....so I know she has witnessed her daughter doing weird things to my daughter before in the name of "play". 

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#2 of 27 Old 08-30-2013, 06:45 PM
 
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First, I would find that weird and uncomfortable. Second I'm wondering if she listens to a lot of radio or has free access to a tv maybe the adult content doesn't go over her head. And of course I have to immediately wonder if there is abuse. Could you address uyour concerns with the school psychologist? They would be obligated to follow up I would believe

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#3 of 27 Old 08-30-2013, 07:44 PM
 
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You have already let it go to far. Keep this child away from your own kids. She is either the victim of sex abuse, has a mental disorder of some type or has a mental disorder brought on by abuse. Either way she is victimizing other kids. I certainly don't think she is to blame, and I do think talking to the mom or even a school counselor is a great idea, but she already has taught your daughter things she doesn't need to know. The girl needs help and I truly hope she gets it!
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#4 of 27 Old 08-30-2013, 07:58 PM
 
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Most of that sounds very abnormal and I think being so.accepting of this kind of behavior for so long was a mistake. I would have been very upfront with the mom about the behavior you don't like from the start and sterner with the kid. I would not carpool with the family anymore and I would be upfront about why in a letter or in person depending on how heated the discussion will likely get.
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#5 of 27 Old 08-30-2013, 08:53 PM
 
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This is not normal. Maybe the very farthest reaches of what a child can gather on their own from picking things up on tv, but as a survivor and a child and youth worker this SCREAMS signs of abuse to me.

I also had an older child "tease" me on the school bus as a little girl. Same kind of stuff, maybe even a little more aggressive, and I remember giggle screaming over it too. I also remember feeling very confused and ashamed. I remember knowing I shouldn't tell mom. I remember telling one friend who in turn also felt ashamed and confused and told me not to tell anyone. He was a child, and I'm not angry at this child, but I think he was acting out his own abuse on me and I know it has damaged me in a sense. I know I find it difficult to think about. I think you really need to have a sit down with your children and go over how good touch/bad touch applies to other children as well. Tell them no one gets to touch them without permission. It may be uncomfortable but if I were you I would put the odd sexual component in context for them too.

I second the suggestion to go through the school. Tell them the behavior you've witnessed as specifically as possible. If I were you I would frame it less as an "I'm not sure they should play with my kids" issue and more of a "I'm seeing serious red flags that there is something wrong in the lives of these children" thing. If you're concerned that the mother may lash out physically over this you need to make that clear to the school as well. They'll have to inform social services and the protocols for this kind of intervention are different in cases where physical punishment is suspected. I wouldn't feel too conflicted about this either. Talking to someone about this won't get them taken away from their mother (unless she's hurting them of course) or anything like that, but it WILL bring opportunities for counseling and figuring out what the hell happened to these kids to cause this kind of behavior.
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#6 of 27 Old 08-30-2013, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First, I would find that weird and uncomfortable. Second I'm wondering if she listens to a lot of radio or has free access to a tv maybe the adult content doesn't go over her head. And of course I have to immediately wonder if there is abuse. Could you address uyour concerns with the school psychologist? They would be obligated to follow up I would believe

I don't notice free access to TV or radio when I am there...the kids usually watch cartoon movies, if anything. They don't seem to watch as much TV as my kids, and they seem pretty clueless about pop music.

 

Since the mom is a friend of mine, I wouldn't go to the school psychologist without talking to her about it first. I know she is open to therapy for her kids because she mentioned she might take her youngest to see a psychologist. He panics when he sees it is going to rain/thunder/lightening...which is very often where we live.

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#7 of 27 Old 08-31-2013, 12:08 AM
 
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I don't know what is going on with this child to cause such behavior, but it is certainly obvious that YOUR children are stressed out and uncomfortable in this weird dynamic, not to mention this is hardly the sort of influence/friendship I would think is positive for them. please don't let this continue any longer, it has gone on too long as it were. time for new friends.

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#8 of 27 Old 08-31-2013, 06:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't know what is going on with this child to cause such behavior, but it is certainly obvious that YOUR children are stressed out and uncomfortable in this weird dynamic, not to mention this is hardly the sort of influence/friendship I would think is positive for them. please don't let this continue any longer, it has gone on too long as it were. time for new friends.

Thank you. I am feeling really guilty that my kids were treated badly for so long. I should have stopped carpooling a long time ago distanced myself a bit, explaining why to the mom and to my kids.

 

I think what held me back was partially the weirdness factor. They live across the street and the mom is one of my only friends. 

 

The mom has already brought up the "arguing" between the girls a few times. We seemed to agree that they were treating each other like sisters. After all, it was pretty typical for my own kids to be mean to each other. My daughter was sweet at first until my son kept being mean to her. I actually took them to counseling for a year because it got so bad. The counselor basically said I needed to chill and it was normal. I think it's normal to a degree but it broke my heart when they would take it too far, which was on a daily basis. I should have found another counselor!

 

The mom has also confided in me that her daughter is very jealous and immature for her age. The mom is a very nurturing and affectionate person with kids. I think she is probably like that with my daughter when she goes over their house, and that is not helping the jealousy factor. The father also told me the daughter was a handful once too...I don't remember how he worded it, but I could tell he was frustrated with her. 

 

They seemed to know about their daughter's issues. Maybe they just chose not to do anything but punish, which isn't working.  

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#9 of 27 Old 09-02-2013, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, so here's the update. I told my husband what happened, and he was 100% on board with keeping this girl away from our children. I asked my friend to come over and told her I had to talk to her about something important. I told her I felt really bad to tell her this, and I was kind of hoping I wasn't the first one to come to her with this. I asked if she noticed any unusual behavior with her daughter, and she didn't seem to know where I was going. I told her that her daughter was being very sexual toward my 6 year old in the car, and explained what I saw. Then I told her about a few other incidents from the past that I didn't think anything more about until this recent incident. I told her that my daughter is so young and looks up to her daughter so she probably goes along with stuff more than an older girl would. I told her that she is always trying to find new ways to touch my daughter inappropriately...it always has to go there. She makes it into a funny game so my daughter will go along. 

 

She said the girl and a friend did get caught a few times showing their privates to each other. She also said that the girl seems curious about where babies come from and has touched her mom there when asking about where babies come from. She mentioned once again that she was very immature for her age. Other than that, she didn't seem concerned and said it's probably from watching too many Disney shows. I'm sorry, but that does not explain her constantly trying to touch my daughter inappropriately. Maybe she was really embarrassed and didn't know how to react. I told her this year carpooling turned out to be too much, between this incident and my car being too small (her son, who has some similar behavior issues joined us this year). I told her that I realize we had already planned to carpool the rest of the month, so if there were any days she still needed me to bring her kids, to let me know...but that we needed a break. She said she was scheduled to take them tomorrow, and asked if I wanted her to and I said "no" and she left. AWKWARD!

 

I hope she understands I have to protect my children from this child who is acting like a predator.

 

I hope they get her some help, and I hope they do not punish her for this. I think she needs help for her behavior overall...not just the sexual stuff, but I don't think the mom really takes the mean, sneaky, manipulative, jealous behavior seriously, and it's pretty sad.

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#10 of 27 Old 09-03-2013, 09:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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OK, I need some support here. Does anyone else think I over reacted to this? I'm really trying to see this from the mom's point of view and I am having a hard time. The mom called me today, and when I didn't pick up, immediately walked over to my house and said we needed to talk. She was really upset and hurt at my reaction to the incident. She kept downplaying the behavior as being innocence and immaturity. She said (with tears in her eyes) she feels bad for her daughter because she doesn't understand what she did wrong and feels like she is being punished. Did I do something wrong?

 

She blamed the sexual behavior on hearing a pop song with the word bootie in it, and on watching Disney shows??? Even worse, when I mentioned that she doesn't listen to me and finds a way around rules, she said she thinks that's positive. Yes, POSITIVE, because at least no man will be able to tell her what to do when she grows up. I am beginning to think mom is just as manipulative as the daughter if she thinks I am going to believe that.

 

She was also saying how crazy her schedule is going to be with 3 kids and no carpool help. I guess since she knew I wasn't going to budge on my stance, she was using this as a last ditch effort...making me feel guilty like I was leaving her high and dry. I would feel kind of bad if she was working right now, but she is taking time off at the moment. I was a big help to her last year, to the point where I felt I was being taken advantage of at times...but that's a whole other thread. The way I left it was that I don't want her daughter to feel like she lost a friend, but that I need a break from carpooling. Period.

 

I was actually contemplating reaching out to them when my daughter shows interest in playing with the girl again. This is her only "friend" at the moment. Us moms would get together and chat sometimes while the girls played, and we could try that again, if there is not too much tension between us (ha!). Would you reach out, or does that sound crazy because of the way the mom reacted? 

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#11 of 27 Old 09-03-2013, 10:54 PM
 
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You made the right decsion. Do not car pool with them, dont let your kids play with them.  This mom isn't your friend. Her kids are not your kids friends.


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#12 of 27 Old 09-03-2013, 11:00 PM
 
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I think you should go with your initial gut reaction, which is the one we usually try to stifle when we're more worried about how we'll be perceived.
Maybe this woman is stressed out and not dealing with things well, but maybe its because she's been able to rely really heavily on other people to manage things for her. And that is really easy to do in a world where we are told to "be nice" and not say anything. You can't hold yourself responsible for her reaction -- she has to own that. You are responsible for your daughter's well being.
Let me tell you, I was a shy, intoverted little kid who had trouble making friends and had a hard time differentiating good friends from problem friends. It took me a couple of years to figure out having someone to play with was not worth feeling bad about. Maybe your kiddo will have to figure that out in her own way, too, but you shouldn't feel bad about keeping her safe until she can make that call for herself.
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#13 of 27 Old 09-04-2013, 06:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think you should go with your initial gut reaction, which is the one we usually try to stifle when we're more worried about how we'll be perceived.
Maybe this woman is stressed out and not dealing with things well, but maybe its because she's been able to rely really heavily on other people to manage things for her. And that is really easy to do in a world where we are told to "be nice" and not say anything. You can't hold yourself responsible for her reaction -- she has to own that. You are responsible for your daughter's well being.
Let me tell you, I was a shy, intoverted little kid who had trouble making friends and had a hard time differentiating good friends from problem friends. It took me a couple of years to figure out having someone to play with was not worth feeling bad about. Maybe your kiddo will have to figure that out in her own way, too, but you shouldn't feel bad about keeping her safe until she can make that call for herself.

Oh my gosh you are so right. I had a childhood best friend who was pretty mean to me too. I remember most of my middle/high school friends and college friends being much nicer. Unfortunately, the mean childhood friend and I were inseparable for about 9 years, but luckily, I had cousins and a few other friends come over at times to mix things up. I think that's why it hurts so much to see my kids get walked all over by mean kids. I'm taking this as a learning lesson for me to get my kids out of the house more often and to try to socialize them more. 

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#14 of 27 Old 09-04-2013, 06:51 AM
 
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I would also urge you to stick with your gut. Maybe in a few months things may be different and I'd certainly keep an open mind to renewing the friendships in a healthy way if that would be an option. But your first obligation is to your kids and sometimes to keep them safe means we have to lose other friendships/relationships. You may wish you still had this mommy friend but frankly her actions aren't showing that she's the right kind of friend. I can see that initially she may have been shocked but not after she's had time to process it. Frankly if it was my child treating your kids that way, I'd be grateful to you for pointing it out so I could figure out what was at the root of it and help her. I may be shocked initially but I'd take no chances and maybe even ask you for advice. I think you're doing what you can to protect your kids and raise a concern to try to help another child. Often the right thing to do is very hard.
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#15 of 27 Old 09-05-2013, 09:56 AM
 
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You did the right thing.  I would just let this friendship go.  I have found you can't really talk to other people about their kids and expect change.  I might've phrased it differently (they can't seem to get along in the car and it's just too miserable for everyone, I'm going to take my kids from now on") instead of getting into the whole thing, but the end result is the same.

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#16 of 27 Old 09-07-2013, 01:04 AM
 
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I think you did the right thing.  You spoke your truth, and put your daughter first.  It takes courage to be authentic.  I think you gave the mother a gift by being frank with her. She will make her own decisions on what she does with it.  Way to go, it takes courage to speak your truth. And it was done from a place of care and concern. I would encourage you to not back down. 

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#17 of 27 Old 09-08-2013, 05:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think you did the right thing.  You spoke your truth, and put your daughter first.  It takes courage to be authentic.  I think you gave the mother a gift by being frank with her. She will make her own decisions on what she does with it.  Way to go, it takes courage to speak your truth. And it was done from a place of care and concern. I would encourage you to not back down. 

Thank you, I needed this. Honestly, it was really hard for me to open up to her. When I finally speak up, I don't know when to stop...so I probably said too much. If she ever does reach out again, I will explain some other reasons why I stopped carpooling...this sexual thing was like the last straw for me...it was building up...I started to tell her that, but didn't give her the whole story. 

 

I felt that I was being taken advantage of at times with carpooling, and there were some other weird things that happened that put my children and I in awkward situations...it was all just too much. I think deep down inside, she knows her behavior could have been part of the reason for the carpooling coming to an end. I saw her today and she did not waive back at me, so we will not be talking any time soon!

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#18 of 27 Old 09-08-2013, 09:59 PM
 
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You did the right thing. I wonder what's going on in this girl's home. Something seems very off, with the way the children are acting and the way your friend brushed it off. I think she knows darn well it wasn't a Disney show. I feel for those children and hope they get the help they need.

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#19 of 27 Old 09-09-2013, 12:20 PM
 
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I'm so glad you spoke up, I know how hard that must've been! I will encourage you to call the school to get the ball rolling on intervention for these children, it sounds like they need an advocate : /

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#20 of 27 Old 09-09-2013, 10:14 PM
 
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I have recently read two great books by Gavin de Becker - Protecting the Gift and the Gift of Fear. Both are EXCELLENT resources when it comes to protecting your children and teaching them to protect themselves. One of the biggest points that I took from the books was that we so often bargain and make excuses for other people's behaviors that make us uncomfortable, which in turns forces us to ignore the nagging feeling we have inside that something isn't right.  We worry too much about being polite and not hurting someone else's feelings that we overlook the red flags. It's OKAY to be firm about not wanting your children to be subjected to this girl's odd behavior. I mean, which is worse, having this mother think your rude for not carpooling or having your children be sexually taunted?

 

You absolutely did the best thing by breaking ties with this family. I hope the little girl and her siblings are able to get some help.

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#21 of 27 Old 09-11-2013, 04:46 AM
 
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You did the right thing to protect your kids. But you should also anonymously call the authorities & tell them you suspect sexual abuse. Everything you said about both those children are red flags for molestation.
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#22 of 27 Old 09-11-2013, 01:08 PM
 
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You definitely did the right thing. It really sounds like there is much more to the story than you know, either that the mom doesn't know or doesn't want to admit. She sounds like she is in denial of what exactly her daughter/kids have been exposed to.

 

What really stuck out at me was her comment about "no man pushing her around" when she's older. Um, why go there? It sounds like she knows a thing or two about that, and sadly, my brain immediately went to "current or ex-boyfriend of mom's did something to this girl." Or at least she saw a little too much of something they did to each other. Basically, she somehow failed to protect her daughter and is either covering that up or just now realizing it and is in denial/trying to save face.

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#23 of 27 Old 09-12-2013, 11:58 AM
 
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I don't think you over-reacted! The carpool sounds like a nightmare situation and needed to stop.

 

If other people ask you about it, and you want to give a more official version for the carpool breakup, you can always say something like, "It's a long drive, and me and my kids felt like we wanted to have quiet time, just our family." You could even say, "There were too many kids in a small car and nobody was getting along well! I think it's better if the kids have a quieter ride," and leave it at that.

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#24 of 27 Old 09-12-2013, 06:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't think you over-reacted! The carpool sounds like a nightmare situation and needed to stop.

 

If other people ask you about it, and you want to give a more official version for the carpool breakup, you can always say something like, "It's a long drive, and me and my kids felt like we wanted to have quiet time, just our family." You could even say, "There were too many kids in a small car and nobody was getting along well! I think it's better if the kids have a quieter ride," and leave it at that.

 

Absolutely. I wouldn't go into detail with anyone else. I think it's impressive that we kept it up for a full year to be honest. Now that it's over, I am so glad we don't carpool any more. Don't get me wrong, I miss having 3.5 hours free several days a week, but my kids and I are a lot happier. 

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#25 of 27 Old 09-12-2013, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by swd12422 View Post
 

You definitely did the right thing. It really sounds like there is much more to the story than you know, either that the mom doesn't know or doesn't want to admit. She sounds like she is in denial of what exactly her daughter/kids have been exposed to.

 

What really stuck out at me was her comment about "no man pushing her around" when she's older. Um, why go there? It sounds like she knows a thing or two about that, and sadly, my brain immediately went to "current or ex-boyfriend of mom's did something to this girl." Or at least she saw a little too much of something they did to each other. Basically, she somehow failed to protect her daughter and is either covering that up or just now realizing it and is in denial/trying to save face.

 

Yes, I thought that "no man pushing her around" comment was weird too. 

 
At first, I thought she was just trying to come back at me for what she felt was an insult to her daughter. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought it could be something more. Maybe she herself was in an abusive relationship at one point or another, or had an abusive father or something. Why else would she pull that out of left field?
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#26 of 27 Old 09-14-2013, 01:43 PM
 
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Red flags galore - and you have the right and responsibility to keep your kids in a safe environment.

 

I don't think mainstream TV causes those types of graphic behaviors.  This is way over the top - especially shoving a head in someone's crotch and so many of the other things you described.  To me, that suggests either abuse or serious mental issues - both of which should be addressed.

 

One thing about telling the other mother, if you put yourself in her place, wouldn't you want to know all of these types of behaviors - maybe she's in denial, has been in a difficult relationship, but this behavior just not normal and may escalate into worse behaviors.  If you don't want to tell her face to face, write a caring note, sharing some of the activities that you'd want to be notified as a parent.  If my daughter were acting out, doing gross and inappropriate things, I'd want to know - I might not like what I heard, but I'd want to know.

 

Consider these two scenarios:

 

You err on the side of honesty and your neighbor is hurt because of the the TRUTH (even as painful as it is) and the friendship is over

You err on the side of diplomacy saying nothing of substance and deny the mother of the chance to change things and watch as the child's behavior worsens

 

The downside of honesty - maybe losing a friendship, but your conscience will be clear

The downside of diplomacy - not giving the mother the information she deserves as a parent (this isn't a hair pulling incident at school), but a disturbed child harassing other children.

 

I would also write up a quick note and give it to the school counselor who should be trained in how to address these types of situations - this isn't your problem to fix, but you have detailed knowledge about a sick little girl who will only get worse if there is no intervention.

 

I was sick reading your description of everything, but was so relieved when I read that you're no longer carpooling.

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#27 of 27 Old 09-17-2013, 12:10 PM
 
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You did the right thing.  I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but I agree that you gave this situation plenty of time to get better and it didn't, there are red flags galore, and the mom is attempting to manipulate you into continuing to make yourself and your children uncomfortable.  You are right to get out of it.


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