Messy hair - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 19 Old 09-06-2013, 06:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

Need help with dd's straight/wavy hair. On a good day it's straighter and more manageable and other times it's wavy, knotted etc. After spending a good 10 minutes removing knots and brushing it a hundred times it looks, I'd say, passable. We put on a hair band and it's a little better but we get to school and it looks like like we never combed her hair at all. Of course on days we tie it's fine but leaving it loose is always a problem.

 

Anyone else have this problem or is this a not quite wavy/not quite straight hair type of problem? We don't want to use any chemicals like tangle free creams.


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#2 of 19 Old 09-06-2013, 06:30 AM
 
quirkylayne's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,668
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Have you tried the knot genie?

quirkylayne is offline  
#3 of 19 Old 09-06-2013, 07:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by quirkylayne View Post
 

Have you tried the knot genie?

No. Will search on the net.


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#4 of 19 Old 09-06-2013, 07:27 AM
 
lovemylab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NH
Posts: 305
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Mine was like that as a kid. The hair dresser told me going to bed with wet hair did it. That makes no sense to me. But I found sleeping with it tied back helped. Also using a set detangle comb in the shower when conditioner was in.
lovemylab is offline  
#5 of 19 Old 09-06-2013, 08:23 AM
 
mumkimum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Ohio-land
Posts: 2,879
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

For several years I loved using oyin's berry juice spray as a detangler for my dd.  I only stopped because dd2 ended up dumping almost a whole bottle all over our sofa (smelled wonderful, though - I should get some again, it's been a year or so. . . they might be more responsible . . . :eyesroll).  It's primarily glycerin with herbal infusions and oils - but it was lovely, I'd use it frequently since her hair can be pretty curly and it's sorta like a leave-in conditioner and really helps with those tangles you end up getting from wind/weather/humidity.  Heck, I used it myself too (having more straight/slight wavy hair it really helps with frizz).  I know you'd rather avoid chemicals, so this might still fit your preferences for that. They've got all their ingredients listed.

PLUS - you can get mini trial sizes, which is always really nice when you're not sure if you'll like something.

 

Something stronger than what you currently use to add moisture might help a lot.  Like some coconut oil combed through her hair before shampooing.  I do this myself with the coconut oil or a burt's bees avocado butter hair mask - adds sleekness and smoothness and really helps prevent tangles (for about a week or so - I try to do something like this weekly, when I can). 

mumkimum is offline  
#6 of 19 Old 09-06-2013, 01:57 PM
 
Polliwog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,090
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)
Polliwog is online now  
#7 of 19 Old 09-07-2013, 05:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

Thanks guys. Seems like I have some good tips, certainly for the knots. I like the wet brush and am going to try it, the coconut oil.. everything. I 've noticed that a little blowdrying on warm air not hot also helps ease out knots, makes it smoother and certainly neater and a as a side, shinier. It is however artifically straightened. I'd love to keep it natural but it has saved so much headache and above all the hair doesn't appear like a bird's nest.


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#8 of 19 Old 09-07-2013, 05:21 PM
 
NiteNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,717
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)

Check out www.naturallycurly.com.  They have lots of information on caring for curly hair, as well as product reviews.  There's a forum for parents of curlies.

 

I don't know what kind of chemical process you've used or how curly it was before, or how straight it is now.  I can tell you brushing curly or wavy hair is a no and just makes it bushier and more tangle-prone.  Chemically straightened hair is pretty fragile, which also makes it more prone to tangles and snarls.  Dry brushing is very damaging.  Get a good detangling conditioner and detangle by hand when wet.  Use a leave in. Braid it before bed or if she's going to be playing hard.  This will cut down on the tangling.

 

As an aside, growing up with curl hair can be weird.  You get a lot of comments about it, good and bad.  There are plenty of people who equate curly hair, even tidy, bouncy, frizz-free ringles, with a "bird's nest."  It can do a number on your self-esteem that follows you well into adulthood. 

NiteNicole is offline  
#9 of 19 Old 09-09-2013, 08:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by quirkylayne View Post
 

Have you tried the knot genie?

We have the Tangle Teaser and they look almost identical. It works but not a 100%


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#10 of 19 Old 09-09-2013, 01:12 PM
 
mama amie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 477
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OP, to answer your question- yes! We don't brush daily. It's such a hassle for such short lived results. When washing hair, we use a brush like the one pictured above (but ours is just a cheap one from drugstore). We'll brush hair while conditioner is in, or just after bath. If I have time and cooperation, I'll sit kids down for a TV break and brush with leave-in conditioner (watered down natural conditioner in spray bottle). Still, tangles are imminent. I do run in a light layer of coconut oil sometimes, and I think it helps keep tangle at bay a bit longer.
mama amie is offline  
#11 of 19 Old 09-09-2013, 09:50 PM
 
Katie Gardner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have really curly hair and I wish somebody would have told me how to take care of it. The only way I can brush my hair is wet and with a wide toothed comb. When I was younger and my hair was longer, it had to be brushed wet and loaded up with conditioner. Then it can't really be messed with until it's dryish. Curly hair is a blessing/curse. When she gets older, try layers in it. When I did this just a few years ago, it changed my life. Hope this helps. If someone would have told my mom this stuff, it would have saved us years of tears. :)

Katie Gardner is offline  
#12 of 19 Old 09-10-2013, 05:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

I have to say that her hair is nowhere close to curly. It's wavy and looks untidy even when freshly trimmed. I don't think that's the case with curly hair.


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#13 of 19 Old 09-10-2013, 08:23 AM
 
BellinghamCrunchie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Alpha Centauri
Posts: 4,293
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

DD's hair is exactly like that. Her hair had big loopy curls when she was little but now its mainly just thick and wavy. Even after carefully and gently combing through it (while wet and slathered with conditioner) it looks like a mess ten minutes later. Doesn't help that DD spends most of her time upside down or sommersaulting through the air or standing on her head.

 

We don't even try to brush it every day anymore. Pointless, really, when its a mess ten minutes later. I'll brush it or comb it when she's willing to sit for a while, which is about every other day. Since it takes so long.

 

We wash once a week (if that).

 

Tying it back at night did help keep it from becoming completely impossible.

 

If we need to be someplace where its inappropriate to look like the child from Mad Max, we tie it back.

BellinghamCrunchie is offline  
#14 of 19 Old 09-10-2013, 10:13 AM
 
mtiger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,377
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My daughter has straigh hair, and knotting was always an issue overnight. Brushing in the shower w/conditioner and then braiding it (while damp) for the night made a big difference. 

Neera likes this.
mtiger is offline  
#15 of 19 Old 09-10-2013, 07:38 PM
 
kblackstone444's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 3,839
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

My youngest step-daughter has crazy messy hair... all the time.  I've found that a bath with shampoo and conditioner and then braiding it when it's wet for her to sleep  helps alot.  On days we have less time, a spray-on conditioner helps when we brush it in the morning.


I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
kblackstone444 is offline  
#16 of 19 Old 09-12-2013, 03:10 PM
 
MaggieLC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

My girls all have very thick, fairly curly hair. Yes, in grade school their hair was difficult to manage. I did used to use No More Tangles, as my kids' hair was just so unmanageable that it was intolerable.

 

I also would always braid their hair before bed in two braids, including as much hair from the sides as I could. Every night. That would keep it from getting tangled on the pillow at night. This is also great for really rushed mornings, and we all have them, comb the bangs and leave in the braids until they get home that afternoon.

 

At about 12 or so they took control of their hair, using curing irons or flat irons and buying their own "product" for their hair.

 

I have found a good conditioner used after shampooing really helps, as do carefully combing it, but not over brushing or combing it. It would always cause excess oiliness and increased "messiness" in our kids' thick hair.

 

As they got older, they all have beautiful hair. My middle daughter has hair down to her waist, (never had it cut, except for bangs, only trimmed and styled)  and she wears it either curly or straightens it depending on what she has time for and what she feels like. Also, the right cut and/or trim for thick hair is necessary. Some people with thick hair do better with layered hair, others think their hair is more difficult to take care of in layers. You may have to experiment. Also, a good quality cut can make a difference even if your daughter doesn't like her hair cut and only wants it trimmed or styled. I've actually found longer hair easier to take care of in the long run, because you can braid it or put it up on a bad hair day.


Attachment Parenting: The radical notion that children are human. bfinfant.gif
MaggieLC is offline  
#17 of 19 Old 09-12-2013, 06:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie View Post
 

DD's hair is exactly like that. Her hair had big loopy curls when she was little but now its mainly just thick and wavy. Even after carefully and gently combing through it (while wet and slathered with conditioner) it looks like a mess ten minutes later. Doesn't help that DD spends most of her time upside down or sommersaulting through the air or standing on her head.

 

We don't even try to brush it every day anymore. Pointless, really, when its a mess ten minutes later. I'll brush it or comb it when she's willing to sit for a while, which is about every other day. Since it takes so long.

 

Lol.


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
#18 of 19 Old 09-14-2013, 09:46 AM
 
zebra15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 4,712
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

She might just have the wrong 'cut'.  I have curly/frizzy hair depending on the weather.  After 38 years I found a stylist who understands my hair.  I need longer layers and some texture at the ends and its MAGICAL... OMG the frizz is all but gone, the tangles and pain are GONE!.   I have soft, curly hair again.

 

I use garnier sleek and shine shampoo, conditioner and leave in conditioner.  Sometimes I use the clear stuff in the pump.  I no longer have to tie up my hair, pull it back etc.  For the past year I've been able to just let my hair' be'.   very wash and go.

 

You may need to take your DD to an actual high $$ salon and get it cut there.  I cringe everytime I go cut its so worth it.


Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

zebra15 is online now  
#19 of 19 Old 09-14-2013, 04:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
Neera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,177
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zebra15 View Post
 

She might just have the wrong 'cut'.  I have curly/frizzy hair depending on the weather.  After 38 years I found a stylist who understands my hair.  I need longer layers and some texture at the ends and its MAGICAL... OMG the frizz is all but gone, the tangles and pain are GONE!.   I have soft, curly hair again.

 

I use garnier sleek and shine shampoo, conditioner and leave in conditioner.  Sometimes I use the clear stuff in the pump.  I no longer have to tie up my hair, pull it back etc.  For the past year I've been able to just let my hair' be'.   very wash and go.

 

You may need to take your DD to an actual high $$ salon and get it cut there.  I cringe everytime I go cut its so worth it.

I can't experiment while at school as it might get smoother but more untidy. the hair is v. prone to looking untidy.


When the thoughts we think are the same as the words we speak, others will feel our integrity ~ Unknown
Neera is offline  
Reply

Tags
Natural Hair Care

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off