5 year old peeing and pooping in pants - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 10-11-2013, 06:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't seem to find any articles about potty training regression. Does anyone know of any good ones? My DD turned 5 in August. We did EC and used the potty regularly starting at 3 months. She was potty trained at night and during the day as long as she didnt have pants on and could wear pants and stay dry starting on her 2nd birthday. About a year later she started having infrequent poop accidents in her pants. THose stopped for awhile but for the past year she has been having poop accidents on a regular basis. Often she just goes a little, we change her pants she INSISTS she doesnt have to go and then a little while later it happens again. MOre than one occasion this happened more than 3 times during the day. Lately she has started having pee accidents as well. She even wet the bed last month which she NEVER did even as an infant. I try to get her to go to the bathroom when she is clearly doing the "pee pee dance" but she always insists she doesnt have to go and even when I know she does and absolutely refuses to go unless there are consequences like (no movies for the rest of the day). I've tried being nice, I've tried being indifferent, I tried having her clean up the messes, I tried being angry and the problem has only been getting worse. Short term, getting mad and yelling is the only thing that works but it makes everyone feel bad including me. She NEVER wets herself if she is at school or with someone else so I know that she isnt having some physical problem. She is in kindergarden and goes all day without issue including on the bus ride which is 45 mins each way. 

 

Any suggestions? Articles? Books?

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#2 of 6 Old 10-11-2013, 06:36 PM
 
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Is this her first school experience?  maybe full day K-garten is too much for her....seems like maybe shes missing you - since its just happening at home - sorry i have no real advice !  hope it passes quickly!


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#3 of 6 Old 10-11-2013, 09:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No, this isnt her first school experience. We live in a really remote area on an indian reservation and the only safe/clean place to play is at school so although I see myself as an unschooling parent, I have actually had her enrolled somewhere since she was 16 mo. 

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#4 of 6 Old 10-12-2013, 07:42 AM
 
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And shes had to travel that far too - i assume..... maybe its something about her class...i dunno - maybe im just feeling like it must be school because thats whats NEW and different in her life....

My sister started K-garten when she was 4 1/2 and wet her pants on purpose many times during the week so that my mother would have to go to school - bring a change of clothes ...etc - she admits now that she knew what she was doing - she just wanted to see Mom.  And she had been in full day day care prior to K-garten too....

hope its resolved soon!  I have a 65 lb 3yr old who will not get NEAR the potty - the amount of nasty laundry is getting to me!!  


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#5 of 6 Old 10-12-2013, 07:58 AM
 
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I don't know how helpful this is, but I do a lot of potty training at work and have seen just handing the child a bag and having them change themselves work many times as long as it is not done with emotion. I have seen emotional attachment to children's success on the parents time table fail and prolong the process many times also. For poop accidents it does mean cleaning the bathroom some afterwards but it rarely happens twice.

There have been a few threads about encoporesis (spelled differently maybe) that may be helpful to search and your dd's pediatrician may have medical solutions that can help.
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#6 of 6 Old 10-13-2013, 08:39 AM
 
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I know what you're going through. Very frustrating, especially the part where you know they have to go, you ask them to go, and they insist they don't have to, then they go in their pants. It drove me crazy.

 

What worked with ds after many years of trying everything (including seeing many doctors to check for UTIs and encopresis - which one doctor diagnosed, but her treatment failed miserably), was doing this: we had a RULE stating that we need to use the bathroom each time we come from somewhere, before we go somewhere and before bedtime. This meant every 2-3 hours pretty much. The rule applies to everyone in the house, adults included. Ds didn't feel singled out so much and we started seeing improvement. He stopped protesting and even started going on his own.

 

HTH


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