DD (3 yr) not excited at all about Christmas :( - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
nenegoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

DD had a great Halloween this year. She was looking forward to it since August and she participated in every planning aspect of it. I was so happy to see her excited. The day itself was magical and she was blissfully happy. Honestly, I think it was the happiest day of her life thus far. 

 

Now, I wasn't expecting to see her be as excited about Christmas but at least I thought we could look forward to it together but no. I asked her what she thought of Santa and she says he is real around Christmas and he is the one who brings presents so she still believes in Santa but when asked if she wanted him to bring her something this year, she says she wants candy and nothing else. I probed to see if she really doesn't want toys, clothes, books, art supplies, etc and she says no, she has enough stuff and doesn't want any more. 

 

She was a lot more into Christmas last year. I don't understand.  

 

I assured her that she's been good all year and I was sure that she was on Santa's good list but she shrugged that off.

 

Are we doing something wrong? Shouldn't 3 year olds be excited about Christmas? 

nenegoose is offline  
#2 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 04:40 AM
 
skycheattraffic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It's early November! I'm expecting excitement around December 22nd wink1.gif
But honestly, Halloween just happened and she had a lot of energy and time in it. I think she just needs a little downtime of basic existence and calm routine before getting all jazzed up. She's probably tired and just needs to reset.
EnviroBecca likes this.
skycheattraffic is offline  
#3 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 06:17 AM
 
JollyGG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,647
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We make a big deal about planning for Christmas, selecting and making gifts for family and friends, ect. I can't say that my kids have ever been that into the idea that Santa comes in and of itself. Of course, we may downplay the Santa bit subconsciously because I do want the focus to on what we give, not on what we get. 

 

Plus it is still early. Something that is 2 months away is a bit hard for a 3 year old to grasp. I'd imagine that she'll start getting excited once the trappings of the season are everywhere.


Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
JollyGG is online now  
#4 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 07:23 AM
 
NiteNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

If everything is super special all the time, then things aren't very special at all. A little down time between holidays is a good thing.  Let it go, and approach it again sometime in December.

 

Also, if she's not hyped up about Christmas as a gift grab, that's a GOOD thing.  This is a great year to talk about giving and all the nice things we can do for other people, as well asall the special non-gimme gimme gimme things that happen around the holiday season - baking cookies, decorating, holiday music, visiting family, community celebrations, etc. 

 

My daughter is seven and still not very psyched about the gift part.  I mean, she likes opening them but she's not one who is coveting that one super special thing that she just goes bananas over on Christmas morning.  I admit, that kind of pay-off would feel good for me, but it's nice not to be trying to track down the 2013 Toy Of the Year that No One Has Been Able To Get Since August ;-)

EnviroBecca and MaggieLC like this.
NiteNicole is offline  
#5 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 08:29 AM
 
revolting's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 1,248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
 

Also, if she's not hyped up about Christmas as a gift grab, that's a GOOD thing.  This is a great year to talk about giving and all the nice things we can do for other people, as well asall the special non-gimme gimme gimme things that happen around the holiday season - baking cookies, decorating, holiday music, visiting family, community celebrations, etc. 

 

:yeah

Excitement in this household really starts to build in December, when we start crafting/decorating/etc... for the holiday.


Partner to Rbikenew.gif ('03); Parent to T read.gif('07), Aviolin.gif ('10), and E ecbaby2.gif ('13)

femalesling.GIFhomeschool.gifchicken3.gifhomebirth.jpgnak.gif 

revolting is offline  
#6 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 10:01 AM
 
MaggieLC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 410
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I agree with NiteNichole. Your DD is only three. Six weeks away may as well be a year. Plus, I would be happy she isn't in "gimme" mode at all.

 

Our family doesn't make a huge deal about the gift aspect of Christmas. We decorate the house about a week or two before Christmas, we have a few family Christmas parties, including hosting Christmas for our family every year.  When I was a kid my parents went WAY overboard on the whole Santa Christmas thing. They did everything in their power to make sure no one told me "about Santa" and even used Santa as a way to control behavior. As a child, I felt I had to go overboard on being gushy about every single present, even though I didn't feel it. And, when it was made clear, both from other kids and my own discovery (why does Santa bring Fisher Price toys if the elves make the toys?) I was crushed and actually went into a depression.

 

So, as a result, my DH and I have never made a big deal about Santa or the "getting stuff" side of Christmas. We do take names off of the Giving Tree at school and our local supermarket, my kids really get into buying groceries for those less fortunate than we are, they love to help with baking and even cleaning up after Christmas dinner. But,we downplay the whole "getting gifts" thing a lot. Of course, they get stuff at Christmas, but we make it more about the meaning of Christmas, both religious and secular. I don't know what your faith is, but every year for as long as I can remember, I make two "Baby Jesus Birthday Cakes" for our two big Christmas parties. I decorate them with fondant and at both parties all the adults and children who want to sing while we light the candles for Baby Jesus. For us, that's one of the heights of our Christmas. If your faith is different, you may want to discover an other aspect of Christmas that appeals to your family that you can highlight.

 

But, again, she's only 3.  And to a 3 year old Christmas is still very far away. She will probably get more excited as Christmas gets closer. I know I certainly am not in a Christmas mood yet. We are hosting our families HUGE family reunion Christmas party, and my DH mentioned something about by securing the venue last night (our house is not conducive to a party of 70 and more people, so we have to rent a place. Already picked out, but they only schedule 4 weeks in advance)  and I almost bit his head off because it's too soon!


Attachment Parenting: The radical notion that children are human. bfinfant.gif
MaggieLC is offline  
#7 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 01:16 PM
 
Asiago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,745
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
She may not seem excited because young children do not yet have the concept of time, as MaggieLC stated.
A three year old likely would not grasp a future holiday event. Temporal understanding, the concept of time, is just beginning to develop at age three. Typically a three year old grasps: before, during and after, but not, yesterday, today or tomorrow. Anything further down the road, a week away, or month away is difficult for a three year old to because they do not yet comprehend events in sequence or days or weeks. Where as at six years of age children begin to understand calendar events.
Asiago is offline  
#8 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 04:58 PM
 
mommy68's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 6,599
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I only hope my kids wait as long as possible to figure out what Christmas really is, lol! I am glad my 4 yr old has no clue (so far) this year. I don't teach my kids about santa, tooth fairy, easter bunny and such so it doesn't matter to me if they want to skip the holidays completely (yes)! They know it's their dad and I doing things for them on holidays and special occasions anyway.


Single (divorced), self-employed working, college student MOM to:

 

17 yr old

11 yr old 

 4 yr old

mommy68 is offline  
#9 of 16 Old 11-04-2013, 07:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
nenegoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Thank you all for sharing your perspective. I was on this "I get to finally look for DD's presents" mode that I needed to calm down a bit and reading the replies was quite helpful. 

 

There was something about the way DD was reacting that didn't sit well with me that went beyond indifference on her part or time frame. I guess my instinct was telling me DD seemed scared, which is an odd emotion to have for Christmas. 

 

Then, I finally realized it's the Elf on the Shelf!!! We won it as a prize at an event earlier this year and while we weren't too crazy about the idea, I thought it's a nice seasonal decoration for the house. It turns out, she is terrified of that thing like he is Chucky dressed up as an elf. She wants us to get rid of it ASAP.

 

I don't know what was about him that spooked her but I hope she recovers before Christmas. 

nenegoose is offline  
#10 of 16 Old 11-05-2013, 04:49 AM
 
Asiago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,745
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I am not a fan of the elf either. We received one as a gift and used it one year before getting rid of it. I don't support the concept of it.
Asiago is offline  
#11 of 16 Old 11-05-2013, 07:13 AM
 
NiteNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

We have a different kind of elf.  He brings riddles and jokes and sometimes lip balm or a piece of candy.  If he's really on the ball, he might put all of Dad's socks on the Christmas tree, but sometimes he's tired and wakes up in a cold sweat at 3 am and then decides he's happy where he is, so he's just going to hang out there one more day. 

 

He's not a spy because that would be creepy.

Polliwog likes this.
NiteNicole is offline  
#12 of 16 Old 11-05-2013, 12:34 PM
 
revolting's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 1,248
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
 

We have a different kind of elf.  He brings riddles and jokes and sometimes lip balm or a piece of candy.  If he's really on the ball, he might put all of Dad's socks on the Christmas tree, but sometimes he's tired and wakes up in a cold sweat at 3 am and then decides he's happy where he is, so he's just going to hang out there one more day. 

 

He's not a spy because that would be creepy.


I love that idea!


Partner to Rbikenew.gif ('03); Parent to T read.gif('07), Aviolin.gif ('10), and E ecbaby2.gif ('13)

femalesling.GIFhomeschool.gifchicken3.gifhomebirth.jpgnak.gif 

revolting is offline  
#13 of 16 Old 11-05-2013, 12:59 PM
 
skycheattraffic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,699
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Gaah it's not quoting for me but I love the mischievous elf idea, NiteNicole! So much fun! I bed DH would be totally up for it and my 2.5 year old would love it!
skycheattraffic is offline  
#14 of 16 Old 11-05-2013, 01:32 PM
 
NiteNicole's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 4,697
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

It is fun but a little advice - don't set the bar too high!  You could be doing this for years to come!  If you start finding ambitious Pinterest ideas for every day, you have to keep doing it and something that was fun becomes exhausting. 

NiteNicole is offline  
#15 of 16 Old 11-05-2013, 05:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
nenegoose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 43
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

We didn't exactly elaborate on the spying part but I think whatever we said was too much. Just a few months ago, she'd have told us straight out that she was scared but instead, she buried her face on a pillow and said she was tired and then shut down. I didn't know that was her new way of showing us that she was frightened and it took some time and effort to get her to explain but yeah, now that I look back at it, I don't know why I thought she couldn't be creeped out. I don't know if we can rehabilitate his image but I hope we'll all be laughing about it when she is older. 

nenegoose is offline  
#16 of 16 Old 11-06-2013, 05:22 AM
 
4evermom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 8,928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)

I don't like the Elf on the Shelf thing at all. I understand how it can be fun to put him in a new spot but that would be too much energy for me... And my son would definitely have found him creepy! He still thinks Santa is creepy.

 

If the Elf isn't going to add to your dd's enjoyment of Christmas, get rid of it. The point is for her to enjoy the season, not get used to something she finds disturbing. You can do other fun things like rearrange or decorate a dollhouse or whatever your dd would think is fun. Imagine slowly decorating a dollhouse for Christmas with little surprises for dd to discover. I once made a little wreath with those tiny cones from a hemlock tree for a dollhouse. It amused me that the proportions of the hemlock cones to the dollhouse were like very large pinecones to a real house:-) I also painted a pine cone green to use as a dollhouse Christmas tree. Or you could set up her stuffed animals in different ways, the way people do with the Elf. 

 

Age 3 is probably the biggest age for fears, btw. So this year your dd may be more sensitive to things.


Mom to unschooling 4everboy since 8/01
4evermom is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off