I'm having so much trouble with my 5yo DD lately. I've always described her as having big feelings -- she can be the cuddliest, most tender girl in the whole world, but when she's having a sensitive day, every little thing sets her off. And she and I are quite similar, so she has a special way of getting under my skin.
The holidays have brought out the worst in her -- too much sugar and too much excitement. And she has a cold. I'm giving her leeway for all of these things, but she's still pushing my buttons. We had a few rough moments yesterday, so I tried really hard to start off on the right foot today, but she gets in this mood where she's determined to pick a fight and will pick at any little thing I say.
She came downstairs in a new dress and I complimented it, then (because she sometimes forgets underwear) I said, "Do you have something on under your pants?" (meaning to say something about underpants, so I mixed up my words a bit), and she said (in a very snotty voice), "Mom!! It's a DRESS, not PANTS!!!" and stormed away. I ignored her outburst, finished making breakfast, and we all ate.
After breakfast, she wanted to play with her Lite Brite but was having trouble removing the pegs from the last time she played it, so I offered to help. As I was removing them, one flew away from me and landed near her, so I said, "Oops, that one went way over there -- will you please pick it up?" and she said, "Mom, it's not WAY OVER THERE, it's RIGHT HERE!!!" again with the snottiest tone ever.
I know these examples aren't earth-shattering, but she does this over and over and over throughout the day until I'm just at a breaking point. I try so hard not to react emotionally, but I think I do need to set boundaries -- she can't just walk around barking at people. But even when I respond in what I think is a reasonable way (like today I put down the Lite Brite and said, "I'm all done helping you with this until you're ready to speak to me in a nice way," and picked up a magazine to read), she goes on and on about how I'm always "yelling" at her.
Invariably, after 10 minutes or so of me ignoring her rant, she comes over and apologizes and wants a hug, but I'm tired of going through the whole fight part to get to that point. Today I was still hurt and mad and really didn't want to hug and make up yet, and even though I tried to, she could tell my heart wasn't in it, which makes me sad, but I can't just magically feel better. And she gets tons of cuddles, reading, playing games, etc. from me, so I don't think she feels like this is the only way to get attention.
Any advice or commiseration? I'm seriously freaked of what I'm in for when she's a teenager.
The holidays have brought out the worst in her -- too much sugar and too much excitement. And she has a cold. I'm giving her leeway for all of these things, but she's still pushing my buttons. We had a few rough moments yesterday, so I tried really hard to start off on the right foot today, but she gets in this mood where she's determined to pick a fight and will pick at any little thing I say.
She came downstairs in a new dress and I complimented it, then (because she sometimes forgets underwear) I said, "Do you have something on under your pants?" (meaning to say something about underpants, so I mixed up my words a bit), and she said (in a very snotty voice), "Mom!! It's a DRESS, not PANTS!!!" and stormed away. I ignored her outburst, finished making breakfast, and we all ate.
After breakfast, she wanted to play with her Lite Brite but was having trouble removing the pegs from the last time she played it, so I offered to help. As I was removing them, one flew away from me and landed near her, so I said, "Oops, that one went way over there -- will you please pick it up?" and she said, "Mom, it's not WAY OVER THERE, it's RIGHT HERE!!!" again with the snottiest tone ever.
I know these examples aren't earth-shattering, but she does this over and over and over throughout the day until I'm just at a breaking point. I try so hard not to react emotionally, but I think I do need to set boundaries -- she can't just walk around barking at people. But even when I respond in what I think is a reasonable way (like today I put down the Lite Brite and said, "I'm all done helping you with this until you're ready to speak to me in a nice way," and picked up a magazine to read), she goes on and on about how I'm always "yelling" at her.
Invariably, after 10 minutes or so of me ignoring her rant, she comes over and apologizes and wants a hug, but I'm tired of going through the whole fight part to get to that point. Today I was still hurt and mad and really didn't want to hug and make up yet, and even though I tried to, she could tell my heart wasn't in it, which makes me sad, but I can't just magically feel better. And she gets tons of cuddles, reading, playing games, etc. from me, so I don't think she feels like this is the only way to get attention.
Any advice or commiseration? I'm seriously freaked of what I'm in for when she's a teenager.