Moving to Big Bed fears (mine!) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 02-15-2014, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
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Hi folks,


Feel like I'm always here asking for advice (and I haven't even posted about our most recent fearsome threesome adventures, gah) I go again. 


Big bed stuff.


Our girl is still in a cot/crib. She is 3.5....which I know seems late to some, but we haven't felt the need to change it until recently.


She is *probably* ready to move out of it now. Although she doesn't climb out, she is making lots of excuses to get in and out at bedtime. Also...we have to continue with the toilet learning journey too at some stage, as she is doing great during the day.


Firstly - are there any positive stories out there about the transition? i.e. it wasn't as bad as feared....kid coped okay....transition wasn't as disruptive as I  keep reading about all over the net?



Secondly - silly specifics that have me worried in advance.


Lights: She doesn't and won't have a bedside table with a lamp I don't think - but she has several lights in her room with reachable switches.

What happens if she jumps out of bed and turns them all on - especially in the middle of the night!? Should we go so far as taping the switches or disabling the lights?

Or just make a rule - and try (???) and enforce it somehow. How??


Bed stuff: She has no blanket/duvet or pillow at the moment. We're planning on giving her a king single bed (adult size) - but....I just can't get my head around the duvet/pillow situation. We were going to wait a month until the weather was a little cooler (we're in the Southern Hemisphere) and get a very very light duvet. 

But....I guess the question is - how did your kids adjust from no blanket, no pillow in crib/ then...well....everything!? Or did they NOT adjust, and slept on a 'bare' bed? 


Lastly - she is being very challenging at the moment, but we can't put this bed thing off forever....sigh. Where can I find some good resources or tips on bedtime gentle discipline to keep her in her new big bed? I think she will run riot. This, of course, is my BIGGEST fear of all. Thus far, once she is asleep....we are free to eat and sleep ourselves. I'm scared of that all changing. (I have chronic insomnia, and go to bed only two hours after her - the thought of losing that time to chaos....even for a couple of weeks, is ...... brrrrrr......can't quite contemplate.)



Can someone help me out? Ease my mind....? Or (gulp) give me a truthful account of the whole process.


Thanks so much,





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#2 of 8 Old 02-16-2014, 12:42 PM - Thread Starter
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Appreciate that lots of folks here are co-sleepers, or start off that way - thus the cot-to-bed thing maybe not so easy to answer.

But am assuming co-sleepers end up in big beds at some stage too....?


How was it?

Am I worried about nothing?


A friend's daughter had zero problems transitioning, which gives me hope - but she did go crazy about lights on...and they still haven't conquered that issue entirely, and she's 5.5 now. I guess I'm just imagining that mine will go CRAZY with the freedom of it all....but also I anticipate lots of moaning about it not being right, or toys missing, or needing drinks or whatever excuse too.


Contemplating leaving the cot in the room as a bit of a 'threat' or an alternative - i.e. 'you can sleep in there instead if you want to....etc'

Not sure if that complicates things though.




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#3 of 8 Old 02-16-2014, 05:53 PM
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It wasn't a big deal for any of my kids. If they turn on the lights, it's not a big deal. I just turn them off later. The novelty will wear off. As for blankets and pillows, my kids have small blankets in their cribs (once they aren't infants.) When they move to a bed, they get bigger blankets, but they usually ignore them and mostly use their smaller blankets. Some kids start using pillows right away, others use sleep with their heads flat. A couple of my foster kids used small pillows in their cribs.
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#4 of 8 Old 02-16-2014, 07:54 PM
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I think she will be fine.  She is already used to going to sleep in her room.  

I used to worry DS would get out of bed and wander off.  He has never ever gotten up and gone anywhere other than straight to our room.

You could have her help pick out the blanket for her new big-girl bed.

I spent weeks picking out the perfect bed.  DS prefers sleeping in his $15 sleeping bag on the floor.  He sleeps in the bed some of the time.  

You could start with a mattress on the floor if you think the height might bother her.  Or some guard rails to make it a little more crib-like.

A good night light can help.  We have the clock that changes to green when it's ok to get up for the day.  He's supposed to stay in his room until then (except for bathroom trips).

Just go for it!  And treat yourself to a nice bottle of wine.  :)

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#5 of 8 Old 02-18-2014, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks for the above. Somewhere deep inside myself I know I'm worrying far too much. But on the other hand....if there's mischief to be made...our LO will make it, in spades! I guess I have to accept I'm just going to worry a bit....but try not to let it hold us back when the time comes. Eeek.


Would also like to hear any stories from anyone about kids whose behaviour improved.....!? i.e. having more freedom and responsibility for bedtime, actually turned out to be a good/maturing thing.

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#6 of 8 Old 02-18-2014, 06:51 PM
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Is she currently the type to climb out of her crib a lot? Seems like if she wanted to escape, she probably could, no? We never used a crib, but I think we could have had issues when I stopped staying in the room until DD fell asleep. For the most part, it hasn't really occurred to her that she could get out of bed. She went through a short phase of getting up, but I just told her she had to stay in her room and was on her own if she chose to get up. She hates being on her own, so she stopped getting up. I say go for it:)
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#7 of 8 Old 02-19-2014, 02:53 PM
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We co-slept until four when my dd transitioned and getting up at night wasn't a problem. We sleep on mattresses on the floor because that is what is comfortable for us and she transitioned to bath, brushing teeth, stories, then bedtime easily. She did also go through a hungry phase at the same age but that was because she was genuinely growing and hungry. I think your dd will probably be fine with the lights and such if it hasn't occurred to her to climb out it probably won't occur to her to play with the lights.
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#8 of 8 Old 02-20-2014, 05:55 AM
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My DS transitioned from a crib to  twin bed when he was 2 years 2 months. He was trying to climb out of his crib, and we didn't want him to fall out and get hurt. He adjusted with no problems. The only change was positive - when he was in the crib he'd scream when he woke up in the morning for us to come and get him. When he moved to the big bed, he would just come find us, or sometimes just go find a toy and play quietly. It never occurred to him to turn on lights or make mischief of any kind. We had a bed rail on his bed until he was about 5 years old. Of course, he's always been an amazingly good sleeper.


My DD, who is 3 years and not quite 1 month, transitioned from cosleeping to a twin bed in her own room a week and 4 days ago. It has gone SO much better than I thought it would. When in bed with me, she was nursing 3 or 4 times many nights, and I was afraid she'd wake me up so much we'd both be miserable. She still wakes up once most nights (she's gone two nights without waking, or at least without crying and waking me), but I just go in and nurse her for about 10 minutes and then return to my bed. She is super excited about sleeping in a big girl bed and tells everyone she sees about it. It was helpful that my mom had given her Hello Kitty themed twin bedding for Christmas including a homemade blanket, so we could transform the bed to a pretty, girly place.


On the question of blankets and pillows.... it's so variable by kid. DS slept with a small pillow and a crib quilt in his crib from the time he was a year old. When he moved to the twin bed, he picket out a new comforter and sheet set and slept under the comforter with his head on a standard sized pillow.  DD always slept on top of the covers without a pillow in my bed, and she does the same thing in her bed. After she goes to sleep, I cover her up with the heretofore unused crib quilt that my mom made for her a couple years ago. Her pillows are currently only used for her stuffed animals and baby dolls.


So, all that to say, don't worry so much! Make the transition fun and exciting for you DD and it will probably go off without a hitch.

Happy transplanted resident of the "not so deep" Southsmile.gif. Married to a great man for 9 years and countinglove.gif. Mom to two wonderful gifts from God: DS (8) jog.gifalways moving, atypically thinking, ballet dancing boy and long-awaited DD (2) fly-by-nursing1.gifcuddly, curious, fearless, book loving girl.

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