I have distanced us as much as I can from them...it is very lonely at times but better than the favoritismo and fighting...Thanks for the supportive words everyone...
that is awful, I know people that treat my kids more lovingly and caring than their own blood relatives. My kids recently met my DP mom and step dad. DP was adopted and so was his brother. Dp's mom was so nice to my 2 lo's and by the end of the day my dd was calling her grandma. She called her grandma again today too and DP's mom just put up pictures of her sons kids and she said "I haven't gotten any yet of your two" it is so nice that she is welcoming, none of her grandkids or my kids are blood related and she treats mine just as her own grandkids. My kids don't have grandparents to play that role, their only living grandparents live in India. While I have 13 aunts and uncles on my moms side which many don't have any of their own kids or grandkids, none are very interested in playing a grandparent role for my kids and it breaks my heart. They aren't mean to them or ignore them etc, they just don't go out of their way to have a relationship with them or me for that matter. I have a couple relatives I am kinda close to but I really wish I had more of a support system for my kids and they bonded with my kids more. But my point was, maybe look for family in the community, if you have friends, or are a member of a religious organization there are people out there that could fill that role. I work for a church on sundays and I have made relationships with some of the members and they are all near me in my town vs my family which is not and they love my kids and are affectionate to them when we see each other just as my family would.